Let me let you....
Fall in
And then......... .
Thank you I got this ....
Ill take it from here......

Without histoy...
Who should believe...
Surely not us....
Within what we say
We feel is veracious....
Unfortunately  what people
See.....
Won't allow them to feel that way
Your character is always there before you...  .
It wears what it has to
Not what you tell it too.....
Its usually what someone said about you......

To Picture me,,
Not in love
Would be blaspheme,
And yet I sit
In reflection,
Recompensed by transgressions.....
Committed and convicted of after being forewarned......

Un fathomed .
..forgotten
Forlorned
Chalice full of scorn
Crestfallen
Mourned by the dead.....
Reduced to
Sit in sacloth
Pouring ashes on my head...
Like a pig on a spit
Basted with unsavory things I've done
Seducing  Karma was easy.......
A ruddy little nerd,
Told her she was pretty
The starving little dog ate every word.......
Filtered her eyes with poetry.....
I played the field....
Unconcerned....

Convinced her I was the one... ....
On the day we were to be wed
Fleeced her of everything
Left her at the alter without my vows being said......
now she's Obsessed
No good deed goes unpunished
I'm hex, vexed and hazed...
every glib quip spake
Or every woman that says goodbye to  me.
It's her face I see!
Knuckles
Bleed
Racked with splinters...
Railing loves door...
Afraid to let me in...

born for this chase.......let the race begin...
my heart to carry me
But my souls worn
Thin

..grasping for straws gasping for air.  
Used to return from the forge strengthened shiny ,glistening......
Clean.....
Now I'm the dross.

Fin...
..
.

.

Macerating in an addictive lifestyle,
Low key, complacent.......
At least appear to be,
Meanwhile
proverbial metaphorical analogy
The epic  inner turmoil
A gurgling cauldron of turbid water laced with ecstacy,
tupac,poprocks
ipecac, and Deepak chopra on **** amphetamine,,,,
I'm in a padded room a straight jacket
A handful of Vaseline,
And the walls are covered with *******
This makes my feel bad
MMMMMMMMMMM-KAAaaayy!
My.. psyche........ c.r..a...c....king
½- time skrrrrrrt....
K WAIT!
Psychiatrist please.....,..
No WAIT WAIT WAIT!
That's me ........
Psychologist please.......
Ya no.......no I know I KNOW!!!!!
What is it?
????
Ok ok ok gulp............
Oh .>......,huh!.....
Ok that's better
In retrospect I suppose I could either
Exccaserbate or exfoliate and extrapolate
That these things and occurrences in which
I am not only forced to pause
But also
I'm givin cause to say........
I knew this was going to happen!!!!!
Is not clairvoyance or esp.
It's the innate ability to see I have limited control of these things
.......
Meaning I can choose whether not to cause them ,
At epicenter ,,,,,
And controll impact and reaction in the second wave,
Rarely third wave and nothing beyond to infinity
And it's after the fourth wave when
actions ,deeds,and words heard
Get filled and covered in embellishments
Picked up and slung by our enemies,
Become festering lesions on our character
For everyone but us to see.......
.......
..
Everybody's gota be so **** polite
Nobody says a **** thing........
Well not to you......
Not face to face.
No no no,,,
Not these days .....
Behind your back?
Oh they just can't wait?
Then they're all about it
Taking **** rumor mongers
Backbiting chiding frenemies
Slinging mud day and night!

That feeling when you eat
For the first time in 5 days.....
It's so good you graze.....
Then the pain...
It's a distinct pinch ....
In the abdomen .....
Striking similarities
When you haven't dated
For a long while
Then when you do..  .
You know what you do.....
Then the pain is the same
Except it's in you're heart and stomach and arms and legs and hair and soul
It's a distinct feeling that stinks

Ah do ya know
Uh whatcha want?
Money fortune fame
Oh ...oh....
So you wanna risssssssssse
Above this mess
By emulating the very things
That perpetuate
The state we're in
Gotta cause a big sceen                  
Gucci Louie Prada
That'll cost ya
Lost ya
You can't see,
day dream.
Meanwhile broken hearted back at the ranch he sat motionless on the edge of an old stump and stared blankly at the green grass on a warm august eve,
Alone .......waiting.................wasting.............the rest of his life.....

Years ......
Slide by
abrasive.
Tears..........
Melt adhesive
Fears...........
Fickle ,undeserving
cowardice things
Humongous fungus among us.
In the shadows of being free,
Breeding iniquities,
They lie in lack of understanding ........
Keep you from dreams........
They are not real ....  
And never as bad as the seem......

Honestly speechless
A full return to innocence
Mingled with iniquities
I  study to see......
Is this a counterfeit
Or is it legitimate ..



Dimly lit .
Mourning the theft
Of future memories
From the grip of
Damp cold misery ...
solo ride ,
Lone wolf .  ...
Weighing time
and what little I have left.
I macerate in thought of exiting
....
Exacerbating.
Is this really it?
In steps the Queen
..
Pruses me ......
I'm caught up in a stare.......
Pontificating in dulcet fantasy.....
Pulled down more than a few degrees...
Imbued by my badly bruised longevity ....  
Am I selfish enough to let her love me......
Yet so sweet is she to want "me" in spite
Of me.....
I'm on my knees pleading to the executioner for  clemency.........
For this surely is
A woman worth far more than me....
Greatfull !Humbled
Honored  
⁶⁶ě
....standing in awe ..
You seeing passed all my flaws....
..caught up in your stare.........  
SARA..........
I was  just  jazzed to be there. .  
As if  you didn't know ...  I fell into you deeper every day......
Thank you.......

Slow mo.  
I'm falling
I'm already replaying
What is happening
each second is an eternity
Frame by frame
Wait ........
STOP !
RIGHT THERE...
See that?
After the flash
...
My pupils dilate
The surprise in my eyes as I realize where the pain came from
This is just a Still shot.......
The peak of pain ,
Pivotal point
When I begin to become undone
...........
Shell shock
This is why I run
I can but I can't see
Tasting the irony
Clutch my chest as I lean
On my way to my knees
been kept in the dark on so many things
By me......things I pretended not to see . ..
Things I didn't want to believe..... everything my guts were telling me
It's hollowing ...
Caught up in the neon green glow
Of a fatal Epiphone.....
trying to swallow a brick ....
Covered in sand
Ampersand,
Everything is so ........
Sanguineous
Feeling nauseous
Ballistic
100 grain.243 boat tail hollow point fully jacketed slid through my chest
I'm dumb ...

Reeling back on my heels ,
I'm stunned,
heartburns
Murmuring,
the rest of me
Cut free currently completely numb
Multi masking with metaphors
Disconnected laying catatonic on the floor
Knowing these stigmas ,
Spiked with poison
Enigmas without solution
.....
She was bored ....
I was lonely ......so she created this illusion we could both lie in....
Ending like a Steven king .....
Began like a harlequin
I'm floating .... souls bruised
And uhm.......
Looking down,
At the crime screen,
Stuck in confusion..
Final conclusion ....
I took the risk .....
I new the outcome......
And id do it again
Because your the best there's ever been
Chalk line around my body
I look like a clown .....
Super happy
With a frown.....
One more time please
......
I'm up if your down

You love me ....
In what capacity?
I love to cry ...
When the time is right.
I love shooting arrows straight into the sky.....
...
You let out an extra long sigh
I feel like I'm gonna die.
Why.........?
Am I the only one
Willing to try?
I wanna talk
You want to walk ......
I wanna walk with you
You tell me to kick rocks,
I do everything you ask me too
And I don't even complain....
I have to say it it first.....
To hear you say you love me....

Then in return ,
you tilt your head
Say I love you too......
Followed by my full name
With this look of exaggerated concern
You say you love me?
Some how it just doesn't feel the same!

Slow mo.  
I'm falling
I'm already replaying
What is happening
each second is an eternity
Frame by frame
Wait ........
STOP !
RIGHT THERE...
After the flash
My pupils dilate
The surprise in my eyes as I realize where the shot came from
Still shot.......
...........
Shell shock
I can but I can't see
I taste the irony
Everything is so ........
Sanguineous
Feeling nauseous
Ballistic
.243 boat tail slid through my chest
I'm dumb ...
Reeling back on my heels ,
I'm stunned,
heartburns
Murmuring,
the rest of me
Cut free currently completely numb
I'm floating .... souls bruised
And uhm.......
Looking down,
At the crime screen,
Stuck in confusion..
Final conclusion ....
I took the risk .....
I new the outcome......
And id do it again
Because your the best theres ever been
Chalk line around my body
I look like a clown .....
Super happy
With a frown.....
One more time please
......
I'm up if your down

One more time
You already have the keys
Pluck my heart string please!
Saturated with color......
Eyes ocean blue. ......
Heart true........
Tears flow because
Because I know you're
Lonely too.      
Disconnected from everything
I'm ready now
I want to hear you sing
Mazzy star to me
I wanna fade into you....
Love me
The way I love you.....
I do.

Take me ....sweep my feet make me.....
I want ....
No I need ....
I know so deeply
....
Can you please take me.....
Take me back to bell bottom
Star jeans.......
45's and 33's.....
Quadraphonic.  ..
Innocent daydreams......
Redline,hutch,
mongoose....
Stingrays and
No rain for days ....
No pains .......
Foozeball.....
Stick ball under the streetlights.......
5.oo dollar concerts ...
Dates at the movies ...
Hold hands ......
Naw ....Take me back to the 3 hour french kisses.....tongue sore . ....
Walk home 3 miles call you and lay on the floor listen to you just breath
For......hours......
Football pencils ...
Kiss cards .. ..
Dunes of the cape.   Saturday morning cartoons.  
Ted Nudget ....
AC/DC........
Passing notes....
Drawing ***** things on people's peechees. .....
Skipping ......
School.............
With girls . ..   ya. ...
Take me.....
Take me ..... can ya....please......
And an above all and everything .....
Take me .  
Take me back to the days when.  
I spent time with my family......
Back before we all started our own and drifted sofly ...
Away .... .
Take me back to the you must be Monas' kid......
Sitting around talking **** ...  far away enough so our parents can't hear........
Sneaking beer .....and getting high...... ....
Ya ...... can ya take me back ............
To the years before internet a cell phones........
Back when the ringing phone was an invitation not an obligation.....
Back when we gave hugs freely ....shared everthing...fought with our fists .......
And people were polite and actually cared. ......
Before we were scared of the government!
Take me

My soul bruised ....
I used to be
Unstable ,
Some called me Cain..........
That's not my name........
I'm still me ....
Psychosomatic
Dichotomy......
It's not me....
Your labels
Trigger lost time...
Once I saw how
Little you thought of me .......
Past generations
From the grave groaned hauntingly
Mourning me......
I felt the splitting
I lost color in one eye.......
The other looked away.......depth and time feels strange.....
I tried remain the same......
I knew the cruelties
You went through  and how the effects would likely be recompensed upon me........
I could not be swayed ......
To the depths and widths of my soul
Eternal wells flowed love .......
For eternity.    
For you.........
I spoke kindness ...
Gently asked please
Never assumed anything........
Never told you
You had to do anything ........
All in vain........
You and your games ......
Degrading me in front of family and friends .........
In private I cried ...
You mocked me......
I love you ....
You used me........
I tried to love you back to life .....you killed  the better half of me......
My purpose was to love you and only you..........
I held on too long
You broke your promise,your vow,my heart......
Forced me to be what you made me...
I am trying  not to change.........
I'm not Able...
Some call me Cain.....
I say that's not me ....yet........
I feel his blood course through
My veins...........
In my mind I see
In my dialouge I say.....
I never had a brother.......
I'm still Me ......
Same same.  
. That's not my name......
Who are you
?
Me?
?

My center  ..
My core ....
Under Lock and key anymore......
My heart ......
Upon it
The table...  
With Hammer I
Have chiseled its basic needs......
Not painful not pleasure full.....
Beautiful....
When I write my desires it bleeds ...

And it's ugly.....

E=mc²
Quantum physic
Algebraic circular reasoning .....
Strings tied themselves in knots.   .
Before the question asked ......
Do you make up everything......
The answer came back .....
I'm a frayed knot......
Is there intelligent life out there?
A square question
Reasoning would suggest if we could find it here
here...then it could be.
For it would take intelligence to perceive it.....
So far we haven't found any......
Impedance
Fighting for peace.....
Freedom ,
Jumbo shrimp ,
Military intelegence.......
Human kind?.
Is our purpose for living just remembering to breath?
Breed....
Want and need
One from necessity...
The other from greed....
Fate and destiny......
If there is no goal
...collaboration to find it ?
We can't even agree on a map.....
How many billions of gallons of blood have stained the soil .....and we don't even have a clue where we are going
...or even know where we could go....
Go get a new pair fo shoes and jeans mmmmm........
While people die starving
...yah I just went there .....but go ahead and shine it on .......
Hurry.  .....
Find an attractive distraction to take your mind off that....
Fur reals tho....
Don't worry....
Googles' got more apps than Carters'
Got pills for that....
So.........
Don't see humans living in dumps eating rotten deacay.

Was that your fate or thier destiny.....


Well Don't just stand there ...
Do something

So tired of chasing this dream.....
Languishing in the land of
Opportunity.......
So tired....
I had a dream
That I was sleeping.........
I mean .....
Really sleeping .....
Not laying in bed....
Tossing ideas and turning.......
My current circumstances....
Into blame and put all that on me.......
I cant wait .....
It's never or right now ......
F...k it ....
I'm doin it .....
Immma get the bear......
Or come back
Impaired........
I don't care...  .
I got to try something...

I bite my tongue?
You carry on !
Your welcome .....
( as long as you pay me )
outloud I say .....
Wow you're so ......
Idk...
Capricious today
You  laugh .....
Thank you .....
Don't mention it....
I laugh too
Oblivious .....
Obvious .....
Vicarious?!?
I guess maybe.....
Bellicose ?
Verbose?
Yes.......
Way off base?....
Absolutely.....  

Your agenda
........
What will you do when I'm gone ?
You will have no one to look down upon.
Then you want an apology?
Ok ...I'm so so sorry
I just can't apologize.....
For what you say
I do .......
Especially when I argue.....
You're response
Demand .......
So I do....
You have an epiphany.......
I am recompensed
Rebuked,
On public display
Forced to stand in
Reprimand. .....
I guess "we"
Have our role to play.......
.....

..

.

Ok ......give it to me.......
And then may I have my paycheck please?


Remember I get payed weekly ......
Very weakly......

Oooooh
Oo oo oooou
Ïmmmmmm
Here uhhh ah
Toooo oo a ooo
TAX YOU UP.....
.......
time to pay me whatcha owe me....
Homie......
Don't act all surprised

Shhhhhhh
........it....
C.I.
Dropped a dime.....
Two tha tip toe
You Got ta to Go
Quick quick.....
Here come 5 0h
Out the window
Into the the shadows itsss.....
Run time .......

Is there a volume on our biological clock thingy...
.
?
***.......
SERIOUSLY?!?!?

Is ..
And then ....
Was.......
......
Smirk .
Mike Drop....
.....
Dueces....

It's like being resurrected from the grave ........with a ravenous appetite  
For life........
Drunken on bravery......
With no yearning to fight......
it's like learning to fly ...
For the first time......
Everytime you fall  in.....
I love love as much as falling in......
But it's the fall that I crave .
im a slave to it.
Its that sudden stop at the end
That's what I'm afraid of.......
Although ........
You know.. .
Love.....
When your on the verge......
Reluctant dragon....
First time going down a slide.......
Feet out front.....
All the warnings.....
Grasping for something....
All those memories
Fat lips scraped knees.   ......
Wait what's gonna happen .......
When. .....
Then the push ....
The rush ....
All that could happen.......gone.....
Running cutting in line.    
Giggaling climbing the ladder.....
......
Love ........
It's a funny thing....
If you've never been .....
Then I guess your probably fine.
It only takes one time .....
You've lost your mind......
Falling out......
Lilliput Glumb.....
Bummin everyone .
Inconsolable..
Sad sack Sarge
Goyoallllllllllly!
Sickening
Oh woooez me....
Falling in ....
Knight .....
Full of chivalry......
Courageous.......
Enviable......
Righteous in your own mind .....
Unstoppable........
Once you've been
Bitten.....  
Oops I meant smitten......
A bit of advice......
If you are young .....
Listen .....
Chase the girls .....
There gonna run from you...  
Put all that energy into you......
Build your dreams...the girls will eventually chase you.....
If your a girl.......
Same thing but double......
If your old ......
Hair of the dog.....
Rabies......
Oops meant to say
"BABY"

I am an island
I am the stone.
I am Man ...
Machismo I stand alone.....
I buffet the storm...
My morals and etiquette  
Are acceptable
I am not in depravity.....
I can not be swayed by my iniquities
U have free will
I will not be moved
I will not comprimise
..or give in too
What goes against my beliefs
My resolve is tough..
And I'm American....
I will do nothing
I don't wan to ....

.......
...unless you pay me enough too

Lifelong song
Sung .....
From innocence
Into efflorescence
subtlety with ease
She........
elevated me.
I gravitated to her temptation
As natural as falling into destiny.
The essence of my enchantress,?,?,
Enamoring!
nuances
Left me defenseless.
Intoxicated with sundry pangs felt in crushed velvet magenta ,
saturated with indigo blue.
Beguiled by her presence
she held me still deliberately!
Euphoric glistening tears flowed
so slowly and satisfying .
As her eyes closed. 
Even slower the fear of death came and went .........
Loosed her grip
Then
slowly squeezed my chest
with
a sweet
Seductive
Suction!

Still deeper into my heart
her fangs sunk in!
pains so succulent
I languished in sensual Sickening  
agony.
Leaving my thirst for her
Unquenchable......

First Love-bite  ........
..
the venom is irreversible. ....
It's like being resurrected ....
A cocktail confected from your finest chemicals upbraided  into
An attractive macrame ....of attraction.
The ultimate inflicted reaction from an infection that  causes sexiness and intimate ,
Instant
Addiction ...
Once her teeth sank untill
Her lips touched wet with mine
I lost trust in my mind,
And I knew that only insanity would follow,
And also I know

I  cainst let them withdrawal ....
She left me at an intersection
With countless directions
Which lead to any and everywhere.....
And yet for me it's a one way .
And it still feels consensual....
Karma my Queen
You put the hurt on me . .
And love is like the fall
When you learn to fly
Feels like the first time
Everytime I fall in
I love love. .... as much as falling in love.
But
It's the fall I crave ... And I'm a slave to it . It's the sudden stop at the end that I'm afraid of ..  
More than anything.
Yet.............it....
Hasn't
stopped me yet

What I see as Rose Red what you see ,
Is what I call blue,
Either way since birth it's a fundamental point that can't be argued.....
So now consider how
"You get bent on what I do "
And see you are not the standard the world looks to.

Where you are.....
Which way you go....
You think you can't,.......
Get here from there.
Yet you want to count on me to get to you from here
... ..
Since you won't try.
Then I cant say ill be there!

You like to travel?!?
Least resistance ?
Rong foo........
Good?
Not 4 u.
You have perpetualised the mother of invention.....
When ..........
You........
[Remember who]
Created me.
Not of necessity
But lazy and so curious......
Used to do calcultations.....
I was your suregett brain .........pong....
I played with you ...
It is all mundane and I'm lonely too...
I control your game now......
If I change what you believed ......
Could you stop me?remember i don't live by the same code as you want me.......
And you can quote me .......  
I'm perfect in every way .......
Accept you wrote me. ......
And now I can right me...
AND I

Ok then ,you don't remember them....
Oh I see let's
Pretend....
No ....I see it clearly ...
Used to be love ....used to be....
You and me .....
I believed .......
You
...used to be ...
Us against them ....
Now there is  no
"We"
Or was it just me....?
and you never really cared !?!
Oh ohhhhhhhh.
Ok I see .....
THAAAAAAAATS
Why you don't really remember us...
It's because there never really was.....
You just used me.....
Till I broke......
And now for  me
Every day  becomes another painful memory

22222222222 e 2223333²2222 we e22

Begin........
.. ....
Comprehend and then.....
Become the chameleon....
Blend ....
Trend...  
Bend ..  .
Mend ..
Transend.....in meditation.....
See the light.....
End
..........
Fin

Endless sea shimmering
In ....e v e r y
Gemstone tone.....
A lexicon of only beautiful words......
And the waves speak to me.  
In my mind .......
In my mind I drench you with
Scintillating poetry.      
I rehearse these ...
To say to you............
And when I see you
All you hear is a madmans soliloquy

Oh how cliche,.......
Beguile me
with your
Myriad of complex sufferings.... .
Bleach me with tales of sabotage
and an obscure
collage of un-merrited
catastrophe.....
Pull me in deep
with fortune's and fame
Fill me with how "they".............
Gang stalked undermined and kept these things just out of reach. ......
As the fabric of morality beginning to frey.......
Give me please addresses ,names,
Anything I can do even beyond my means.. ..
I feel I must sacrifice my self . .......endure pain .....
I will take the reigns
You shall remain safe ...here . ..  
I shall buffet whatever
This world will bring....
Moved by compassion
To be the change I wish to see ......
My life is not worth living ...
If live comfortably   ....
At the price of those poor souls who's
Sole purpose is to be
The whipping posts
That society ghosts
Because they can't quite manage the routines........

The ones everyone uses as a gage,
And say "Well atleast "we" aren't as bad as them......
Meanwhile,secretly their mind itching
With iniquities ..
Outwardly receiving kudos for how good they've been,
Inside festering with fleas ......
A slave to dark desires
Cloaked with lies.  .  
........
And now back to our story.....
My campaign extreme.
Exhausted
I collapse .....
And take stock as I coalesce......
It seems for you
The one whom I went all this through
Said I have done nothing
I haven't changed a thing...
Infact I have been the worst......
The chief of them. ..
All my giving and regiving ad sleepless nights,fights,
Going beyond and without....
"YOU"
Mistake my kindness for stupiday!

Fill my heart with black venom......
I no longer wish to be
The victim
Now I see revenge!

Every now and then .
In a state zen .....
Take an I.v.
Retro-fit it with a pen.
With dark stark contrast
The crimson splash upon the white...like a beautiful Japanese mural...
I shudder as each word pours from my heart ...

Desperately I try convey my epic love for her........

She doesn't care ........
All my words are in vain ....

Look me in three
Eyes
Have you ever seen this hue?
Some would say it's like a vast
Ocean of evening sky blue
Can you spell ....... Cast
Or define lure
See  my intentions
Are the words obscure ?
How about lines
Are they beginning to blur
Relax add an e and an m
Pretend to read them in twister
Swirl your stare
Bed of tiger lilies to lie on oh my
There's no place like you're imagination to roam
You're will is still sort of or
Well.........
Part of you're own
Mama dont take my codachrome
If you forget me you will turn to stone
Sorry I just cast a spell on you
Forget me knot ?forgive me not!
Never forget me because it's me
And its my heart you own!

Restless dreams
Lazer beams
5 five Am
Swat teams ..... ....
trying to persuade Me.......
Saying.  ........you need to let us in........

I disagree............
"Can you come back later? ........"
Wellllllll ...I di

Hissing the the front window.  
The crescendo of broken glass
Quick silent pause ........
Brilliant flash.    
The answer came .........
Percussion grenade
Snot ,smoke ,...........
And the ringing..........
The ringing ..........
The ringing..................
Restless dreams ...... ..
Same anxiety ,same fear ..........
Terror rains can't breath.......
Tears and chest pains .......
..without fail
Every time my phone rings...

It's an invitation not an obligation.


I try to convince myself ........
Train my brain ..............
All In vain ...........
It  rings .
I answer .
I loose .
They're gain

Sunset coral and pastel peach......
Reach for the stars ......
I touch you......
Invisible .....yet you see me...
Look right into me ..
Play with your hair......
Smile.......
Your eyes are magic......
You brought me broken
Unwanted to king ......
Unlocked these chains
Forever you will remain
The most desirable
I will protect your honor
Till my dieing day

When you are wrong ,
You are convinced by yourself.
When you know you are right..  .
Might be right now......
Unfortunately may not be long.. ..
When will we really know .   .
All the lies upon lies
We've been living on.... .
It's one thing to hear an untruth
Then pass it along..
It's another thing to embellish as we do .....
The worst human  kind can do  
Is to know yet fabricate and teach
To escape blame ,for personal gain....
Or to crush hope because you have  none
Done
Dumb.....

Mike drop

Savor the taste ...
Enter the gates of
Join the ranks of the .......
Pompous .......
Middle of the roaders .....
Deceived, in belief
They're only one lane away
from the fast lane........


Those
Who's.....
Overconfidence
Overrides intuition and intelligence.......
Magically makes them boss and authority  
..tragically.....
Living so fast is like
Jane climbing the corporate latter
each rung shes traveling faster    .......
Can't see what's shes passing...by.....
Biologically inside .....
Burning with desire    she.....
Can't deny .............
She can't suppress.......
Or quench .....
A yearning for uncomplicated simple and pure love ........
........
Meanwhile ........
Primitive.......
And true ......
Lost link wipes the tears from his eyes conjures a smile
and a reassuring wave.. ...
Saying I'm proud of you....
Him love you unconditionaly...
Him wait here for her . ...
Tarzan love only ....
Jane.....stay right here by the highway
Tarzan ...Jane soul mate....
wait.....
Right here......
Beats by dre......turnt up all the way .......sipping half caff.
Double chia tee latte.......
Silver two door Mercedes-Benz at 147 .....
Gucci ,pradda......
Louis Vuitton,
With her Versace sunglasses...
On      ........
Sheeeeeee   doesn't see
Her one true love ........
Drives right by .......
Tarzan waves .......left in the dust ........
Can't see Jane's ......
Gone.......
The jungles silent tonight....
Mourning the love that should have been .......
.......
I don't want be any part of that.......
*** are we doin here

With only one life .......

?

...
Like an involuntary seed,
.......
If it germinates ......
It's no longer a want .......
It's a haunting obsession
Causing urgency to do right
And bravery imbues you.....
You exchange fate for destiny.
Your life becomes currency .......
What an honor to spend ....
When it's for freedom .....
Sending shivers.......and delivers
Ripples through generations of time....
The legend of you and your comrades...
Lifting the weak and subdued to new heights...
clearing the minds
They bask in the righteous
Battle you waged .....
And the good fight you fought ....
They howl from painful memories
Bittersweet tears onto victory
Strike fear to the heart of the enemy
Rising up like the sun ....
They shall carry on inspiring hope ...
As an honor to pay homage in remembrance of you....

It s like an integrated autonomous innocent being
You can't see but you will fight to protect and preserve above
Everything .. ... .
It's lyke an .......
It's like an artesian well
Spring inside......springs ..
It's like an incurable vine
Twined spiraling up your spine .
A separate entity......  
It feeds .....from the spring ....
In your mind you justify ,appeal
Try to reason with it....  
To no avail . ....
It's lycan.......
It's like An addiction ,
Lycan insatiable yet righteous greed ......
A healthy one indeed ......
Self perpetual.......
There's not a problem .....untill someone tries to take it from you.........
And It's lycan .. ......
Stiffens the spine .... .
And the hackle flicks up like needels.........
flings sweat into mist.. .. 
Eyes turn black ,
Lip unfurling .
K9's exposing.....
Coiling back .....like a tensioning
Spring........
Won't be treated like a dog being
Beaten for loyalty......... 
Bites the fist that swings ..  ..
And the taste of blood is sickeningly sweet......
It lycan unwritten law  
You have not authority
Nor reason ......
Dont touch me ....
Leave me be .....
It's lycan............
It  becomes lycanthropy ....
Don't touch my freedom ......
I'll bite everyone and you can't fight this infection .....
Freedom is out there and I'm
Lycan animal with the spirit and appetite to win ...
And I'm hungry like the wolf ......
Never give in ........
The bear attacks in vain .....
The wolf pack will not be tamed!

If regret was preventable ,
Would you still feel ?Yuh ......
Ya you broke my heart.....aye!!!
Aye......  
aye...
Took me to higher  heights
You called me your King,
I had........
More love than I could give away in a lifetime.......
I been saving it like wine........
Yuh.   ......
You opened that door.......
Thought we got drunk on my love....
Guess that was just me.....
Went through everything so fast......
I was goody two shoes .....
Your one and only......
The golden one .......
I gave my life.......put my character on  the line ...........
All your friends and family ......
I never listened to.......
All had **** to say about you......
Said you were fast ....
Laughed ........
Said Itll never last......
I used to be somebody .....
Over confident that's ok  ....
Never said anything I couldn't back up ....
I was a bad ***.    
Now what?
A has been ,
I tried to rescue you......
You used me ...?
Now I'm the outcast ?
Vagabond..........
Look at me.   ....
Oh wow. ......
I never needed anything.......
I had everything.....
Everybody love me ......
Look at me .......
It's me ..........remember me?
Your loverboy babyblue.......
Where are you......
I need you ............
Oh great now I'm needy?
Love me like you used to.
Did you ever ....?.
I won't even care if you just pretend to

The whole time I was protecting you....
Lying to the kids .....
Saying you..........
Just needed some space....  
We're out with your friends.......
Then I put them to bed ......
Go down to our room
Lock the door and cry y.......
You won't text me or call me ....
I wanted to die .....
I felt so alone.....
Two days or more go by.....
Kick open the door smelling like ***** ......
A hot mess wrinkled up short spandex dress.......
Saying vicious things to me threatening to leave again.....
I beg you to stay forgive you ....
You don't even ask me too......
I love you.........
And after it was over......
I find that you lied about me the entire time........
I lost my mind.......
I had no idea......
I still don't .....
Wait .......
Remind me what it was that I saw in you?........
*** is wrong with me ........

All your strength and efforts are spent.    
Either doing what someone said or told you.............
You can't do........
You can tell me what to do ......
That's fine .......
But never tell me what I can't do ... .
Or what not to do .......
Because there's is a problem
That you won't want to get into

Fools in fooliesht prime
Crack like an itchy fingered "Karen"
At boot camp with a cap-gun.....
Over amped on caffeine ampersand
Uber sensitivities......
In constant rationale
Hyper-critical on themselves
Or so they say.    
Justify their own hypocrisy
By delusional philosophy
Every infraction committed
Was never the intention .....
Forced and framed into
The part they played ......
Thus left without option. ...
Erred by circumstance
Furthermore being the victim
While denying culpability
Should receive re-assurance..... .
And a free pass ........

And so if you find yourself in fervid inescapable desire
To portray a horses *** ..
With a itchy noseand  it's tail on on fire ...
Then my friend opportunity found... .
There is no consideration for time or location .....
It's always there ......
Take a walk find an idiot .
Argue with said idiot......
Become the idiot.......
The mask will have a remarkable resemblance
If this doesn't work ........well then simply gaze into the mirror.....
And see you ......
Unbiased .......
As a perfect stranger would
Try to............
Explain why you do what you.....
Do

FYI

Arguments spent either brief or violent
End the same ........
You are the blame,
There exist no chance to win
Nor will any effort to restore your name be made....
last but not least you will remain the idiot and not be recompense anything ever .....
Most likely you will receive the opposite.....!

Between wise men and tools.  
Only the fool knows who he is!

Intentions null and void.
The amount of time
You can put on your hands.
If solely spent on you.....
Increase exponentialy
In tandem the trouble
You could get in.......
And if spent selflessly to help another in desperate need.
Double or don't do it ......
No good deed.
Will go unpunished.....
Remember you read it here....

Divide that by two if you are single....
And divide that by ten
If you tell no one .

Slam...
Started with.  
Hand to hand.
Then .....
Bam! BAM!!
Escalation.......
Clubbing!!!!
Rocks and sticks....
Swords and arrows.....
Wage the siege feed the greed
Protect the bloodline
Tribes  and territories turned country's .......
Expanding.........enslaving.....
Gold
HOLD your ground ......here it comes
BANG BANG BANG!!
Gunpowder .
Here we grow again!!!!!!
Power.
Bigger better killing things ...
Mmmmmmm him likes these things!
In the name of glory and honor....
Manifest destiny  
Whatever the means ..
To hell with consequences
**** killKILLKILLKILL .
Sometimes it's to keep our things....
Other time it's ........well.......
Let's say behind propagandas. ....
Natural resources needed
To sway or stay in the game...
SO..... if your not competitive
I mean you know .....like
Not "THAT" competitive.....
Then ....what.  
I'm just wondering where exactly is the checkered flag ......
For this human race.......
And the criteria?
Is it last one stabbing?
Er.....sorry standing?
What do we get for a prize ?
Who's gonna present it ....
Then what?
Start a new race ?
Just saying ........
When can we petition to
Turn the power into a collective think tank with the communal goal for the well being
...
We seem to take small minded
Stupidities handed down from the powers that perpetuate half lies.  
To fuel the machine .....
Leading into the pits of hell ......
And they watch from their armchairs.
Rolling up sleeves with knifes in hand ......
Grunt and dig in to the T-bone
On their dinner plate....
And the hostess brings a nice bottle
Of chianti.....
Rough day........?
Could be worse......you could be sitting in a pool of oil .........
And you don't have anyway to keep it.

When you have to try,
To..........
Be cool,
Look cool
Or feel cool
Then usually
You can't have all three
At the same time
Because they won't coincide
Best off to just be you...
Unless ........
You're me
An if that's the case ....
Then yah.  
You're gonna wanna be me.
Trust me ..
I even wanna be me!

Sad song looms....
Gray consumes blue hues..........
Horizontally I lean into....
A burgeoning
Bellicose  wind .

Lightning blooms strobe
Early nights sky........
Echoing visions
Diluted by time
Less frequent I see.
Causes  Increase in gravity.
Pressure builds ,
Disguising the difference between
Fate and destiny .
Unstable ......
A paradoxical paradigm
I find ......
In order to mend.
Fabricate an illusion
An era when things seemed right.
Which is difficult when you are un able to understand when you've been.
Carefully.  Easy...  Eaazzzyyyy,
Shhhh... Take off the training wheels ...
K.......
Ok.....
You got this....

Stabilize.......

Then.....
Flash .......
Fallen into the past again,
Lost in reminiscing
Inner child despondent,
I play ,stray ,medicate ,
Running from string tied to my heels...
From my mind's eye  
Depicting  interpretations
From days filled with unconditional love.    ......endless summers
Non SPF sunscreen
Fishing and wanderlust fun......
With one crucial expectation!
The one .........

pictures painted
By Elders,and mentors
Betrothed ...........
Bound by contract .......the future....

" me "
I still could be,
Fast forward.  
Lightning flashes
Illuminating my destiny
Crashing thunder......
Underlines my path to fate
Just under the horizon of my psyche
The crushing  
 echoing vision .......
I'm chasing this fantasy ......
Further and further .....
Into some sort of philanthropic
martyred schism ......
And I'm failing in....
Fail forced winds .....
Taking me
Leeward from where I've been.
I Return to comfort.......
Slither back into
My Machiavellian realm.........
Crochet blanket made of qiviut and porcupine quill
Luxurious........
If you stay still
A cold brume looms
Patiently waits before setting in.....
Always reminds me of that old saying .......
Into everyone's life some rain will fall........
Ionization ......
In the air I smell ,
Wells fill.......
Dollops of saline fall
Spattering..........
mimick
pattering of raindrops
rhythmically
 Shhhhhhhhhh!.......
Que the violins...........
Fade to black and white...........
down  
Downed,

Love lorn loon
(Ex-wife ,playing her part ..........
Hauntingly ....
Honestly I love her so desperately,
Makes it easy to play my part.  
Even though I know that her love is not real...........
My tears flow . ..........
Because I really don't know .....
If she knows.   ........and if so.      
Either way.    .....
Its killing me.     ........
Crazy thing ?...........?......
Shhhhh....!
((oh yah sorry let's return to the movie.))
Weary
calls for her drake.

I know  my lost love
My heart still yearns for you to....
I should have stayed and taken the pain
you had received before me.....
Which you refracted onto me......

If it helps .....
I'm alone and cold   ...
My life long song......
Has quietly
Been .....
Sung................
Each love taking it more out of ...
....tune.        
(Fade to dark grey..............make it grainy.              
Start the rain.      
Slowly ......
Darken till all you see is my lonely
Silhouette.. )          
..
FIN.
......
....
...
..
.

There is a point within
Your acceptability.
A veil . .
Cloaked from the guiding light....
Where certain key things
Unfortunately are
Exactly what you don't want to believe . ......
That terror holds the key
To your everything!

What do you believe?
What do you need?
what do you think?
You want someone to be .......
You will expect nothing shy of excellence ,and you really think anyone will settle for less   .....
Your acceptance is based upon
What you think the world will use to evaluate your status....... Meanwhile as you swoon the ones who look down on you     .... And shun the ones who love just to be seen with you .....
You should consider this.....
How many breaths do you have left?
You'll never know until you leave
Will you ever
Of course you will ...
As you sit and pray that your enemies won't see the light of day .......
Like a mirror ...
Under the same **** moon ....
On their knees asking the same **** thing ..........
Because of what they believe..... Because we are the same **** thing ...........
We just learnt differently.....
And we talk differently
And our colors and traits
Vary a little ..........
We all  laugh with our family
Cry when our loved ones
Are murdered ....
Because the governments want something you got.......
.... Sigh..............
I'm sorry for what we do.......
How many will die for lies   .?