Who'll get the final hit?
I don't know
When my weapon is a bottle
And yours is blow
Baby i love you
So let me pull you closer
Just to punch you in the jaw
And then put you in a choker
Looks like im winning the war

If i came home right now
Who's shoes would i find now?
You told me to meet you
But never said where or how

You had me
talking about the weather
45 seconds later
you shoved pins into my nethers
Kept me in a cage
Eating food out of a bowl
Little did i know
You were toying with my soul.

For our twisted game
I think we're both to blame
We're in love with causing each other pain
You tell me i can change
And im asking you to do the same
When i come home tonight
Which friend will be there
Holding you tight
If time is money, i just made my ceiling a millionaire
I rub the sleep from my eyes
And trudge to bed slowly
My body stiff and worse for wear
Aches for your touch

I swing open the door
And see you laying asleep
Your job is stressful
And you must see me as a pain
But when you sleep
Your entire world must change
From fire and brimstone
To tranquil oceans lined with white flowers

I slink out of my clothes
And into my night wear
I slide under the sheets
And roll myself under your strong arms
I push my back into your torso
And close my eyes softly.

Just before i fall asleep
You catch me, hugging me tightly
You whisper into my ear and kiss my neck
The stubble on your cheeks scratching me
Uncomfortable, but i never want you to move
I spin around
Wrap my legs around your waist
And kiss you deeply
Savouring every moment my lips touch yours.
You whisper you love me
And i whisper the same back.

I wake up
And the absence of your splendour is made apparent
I spin around
I wrap my legs around a pillow
And i weep
For you are the forbidden fruit
I yearn to taste
I've been daydreaming about a past crush of mine for a while now, so i thought i'd write about him
I Suppose Jun 7
Summer is beautiful
Summer is free
Summer is you
Summee is me
Summer is the birds
Summer is the bees
Summer is my head
Slid right between your knees
Summer is the heat
Thawing us from winters freeze
Summer is my heart
Skipping in beats of three
Summer is your eyes
Winking like a tease
Summer is opportunity
Just for us to seize
But whilst i sit in summer
Savouring the breeze
My mind keeps jumping back
To the cruel winters freeze
And i realize summer is meant for you
But winter is meant for me.
I like my new life
I Suppose May 21
We move slowly
Our own cold breaths adding
To the dense mist already surrounding us.
You rest your small head atop mine
And cling dearly to my skull.
It's hard to think that
This will be our first Christmas alone
In seven whole years.
I let out a deep sigh, and continue walking
The sound of the snow crunching with each step
As we make our valiant march towards the station

Eventually, we arrive
You had fallen asleep some time ago
Yet you still cling for dear life
Scared of being alone
Scared of being cold
Scared of growing old
And seeing this all play out again
Just with different actors.
The train pulls up to the station
And offers us a temporary shelter from the cold
I lift you off of my shoulders
And hold you in my arms.
And we both drift off to sleep

During my dream.
I dream of a never-ending summer
That summer, just the three of us.
The picnics, the beaches, the smiles
But the sun will come back soon enough
Albeit half as bright.
I go back further
To before you were born
To the first day I met her
Your mother
Still so young
Free
Healthy.
I wish you could have seen her like this.

We arrive home
You are now alert and awake
But still silent as ever.
You walk into the living room
And curl up in her chair
Next to the tear stains of last night
I head to the kitchen
Knowing the remedy for your sadness
She taught me this the day before she left
I make you a cup of cocoa
Just as she would
I wait for it to cool down, before pouring it into your cup
I place the lid on to ensure you don't burn yourself
And even give you a handful of marshmallows
You and your mother's favorite snack.

I place the cup and sweets on the table next to you
Before shaking you lightly
To remind you that I'm here
You give no response to me
And continue to sob
As you have for the last two weeks.
I place the cup in your hands
"Here, you always drank this in the winter"
You notice the cup immediately
And eagerly drink from it.
The nostalgia from its taste
Now causing bittersweet tears
To line your tiny cheeks.

Once you finish your drink and snack
I carry you to your bed
Both of us exhausted
By the cold outside
As I slowly leave your room
I hear a faint voice behind me
"Dad?"
"Yes, Sweetie?"
"I think mommy is very proud of you"  
These words hit my heart like a speeding train
Tears well up in my eyes
And I turn to you with a smile
"I think she's very proud of the both of us."
As these words escape my trembling lips
I close your door
And head back downstairs.
What she thinks of me
I'll never really know
But I think she sees you
As being purer than the snow.
A poem about continuing, but not forgetting.
I Suppose May 9
If I were born a Pidgeon
With wings, so I could soar
Through all the shiny cities
All the way down to the shores
I'd fly to every country
Every monument well known
Then return to my warm nest
In the safety of your home.

If I was a Pidgeon
Would you keep me safe from harm?
Away from guns and hunters
In the safety of your arms
I'd gently wake you in the morn
With a perky morning song
And when you open your sleepy eyes
I'm sure you'd sing along
And in the afternoon
I'll chirp goodbye and start to roam
Never once forgetting
The warm nest inside your home

And while I may have flown
Oh so far away.
I know that you will hold me
On one faithful sunny day
And the only thing that keeps me
Soaring fast and high
Is the nest that's in your home
And the warmth that waits inside.
Sorry for the hiatus, rough times y'know. But, in that despair, I decided to turn it into written work. I personally think it turned out fairly well.
I Suppose Apr 24
I lay there unable to move
Like a poor bug
Too entranced by Venus
To know she wishes to devour him whole
I try to move my wrists
Only realising they are bound by velvet smooth ribbon
As it is yanked back to the bedpost

I feel your soft body rub against mine
Leaving a warm wet trail
I never knew how much fun
The predator has with her prey

You bite and pull at my ears
And i moan and squirm in response
This clearly delights you
As you inject your venom into my mind

You slide back down
Leaving an even thicker trail
Of your sticky, moist web
You place your tongue on my body
And begin to lick up and down
Savouring my taste

Eventually you take me into your mouth
This causes my back to arch
As if to make you eat more of me
I can see the glee in each of your 8 eyes
At my body's subordination

You continue to suck and softly bite
At the meat in your mouth
Causing the hairs on my back
To stand on end
And my hands to cling to their restraints

Eventually, you suck all the flavour out of me
And leave me there in your web
Only to feed again
When you next get the urge
Spiders are underrated creatures
I Suppose Apr 22
I wake up crudely
To the sound of a fight in my house
My brother and parents
Arguing again
More common than hearing i love you
But less common than hearing i hate you

I wake up crudely
To my maths teacher
Slamming s ruler against my desk
And shouting in my ears
That i cant live without knowing
How to do calculus

I wake up crudely
To my roomates screwing
And again remember
The town in which i lost my heart
All those years ago

I wake up crudely
To a sound of my doorbell
It's you
My long lost friend
Here again to make the days easy

I wake up crudely
To the sounds of you screaming
The bedsheets wet
You clutching your stomach
I rush us to the hospital as fast as i could

I wake up crudely
To the sounds of crying
I roll out of bed
And head over to your cot
I lift you up
And sing to you softly
Your mother awakes, and joins me in my tune
And i rock you gently back to sleep

I wake up sweetly
To my loving wife
To my newborn son
In the life i was told I'd never have
And to them i say
A little belief, can go a long way.
A hopefilled message from me to you
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