I want to
carve
every single word
that rings through my head
down the softest parts of my skin,
so I can remember the painful silence
that first caused these words
to not only ring through my head
but course through my veins
the words that make me who I am
deserve to be displayed
to be read
and to be understood

Some of your words
are stapled
into my skin,
correcting me in times of error

I no longer
like the taste
of stained sarcasm
on your tongue
or the smell of
fire
burning my lungs
while you bury me
beneath your arms

You no longer burn my mind when I picture you.
The sound of your name doesn't exactly feel like anything anymore,
If anything it reminds me of a life I no longer live,
A person I am not.
On my island of seclusion
I wonder how there was a time I was not alone,
My fingers once were soft when intertwined with yours
But after handling your hatred and repulsion with bare hands the shards have left scars that do not fade
Sometimes I forget that you put them there,
That at one point you hurt me as much as I hurt myself.
On my island of seclusion
I forget faces and voices,
Not just yours, even my own
It seems that no one ever comes and I never go

I want back what I have lost.
To be whole once more,
To find the piece that fits.
I can't feel much;
But what I can,
Is just enough
To get up again.
The hope that tomorrow,
I'll find someone new,
To help me place the pieces;
To show me love again

Sitting here, trying to be strong
Wondering, where did it go wrong

The late night phone calls
And early morning messages

The planning for each weekend
And all the places we unwind

The memories we shared
And things we discovered together

Your funny ****** expressions
And the way you made me laugh

How we were so alike
And different at the same time

The way you knew when something was wrong
And I hadn’t said anything

The way you made me look forward to your surprises
And I thought I hated surprises

Your cheesyness, stubbornness and procrastination
And all the things that make you you

I’ve come to accept it’s all in the past
And I have to move on fast

You drive me up the walls
but you are also the one who makes sure I get down safely
there is nothing in this world
that you hate more than me
it is easy for you to tear me apart
and even easier to act like it was my fault
you hurt me and change your story at the last minute
but you are not all bad are you
your eyes are not always black
sometimes they are a seducing sweet brown
your hands are not always rough
in fact, sometimes they are softer than my own
when they touch me we know
we know deep down you love me as much as you hate me