Jump from a bridge into a stream
High up in view: the dark sky spinning
Cannot shake my binding roots
Fixed until they are fully torn

A shielded stranger keeps still
Indifference being the function
Minding my own as my body knots
And my torso turns to wood

you take a stride with effervescence
exuding an unbridled wanderlust
can you teach me to live blissful amongst strangers?

still in the moments free of derivations
as if i'm not a passenger
set in motion by accident

laugh or smile or shrug it nonchalant
brisk against us, not yet looped around us

the past is a dream that comes back,
                            
                                 in the waning moments
                                       in the sloping seconds
                                            taking all images with them

The years impending
A belt pulled tightly
Grasping for life
Visible from the box

Reach from inside
Slips through palms
An enticing fog
Ubiquitous within
More siloliquy
than substance

ride past the afterglow
then out the pasture
beige fields on both sides

shrug out of it
drift toward the crossroads
as lights provoke vigilance

halt in a metallic mess
punctured in performance
with no nirvana to speak of

"I mean no harm"
Thus spoke Zarathustra
last night on the phone
when I was open with ya
chains rain down with ill intent
request repent like I even noticed it

Money's only paper
when buried in a casket
strike a match lit
a stack drowned in gas

Pull the rope tight
lull and float lose light
Lose hope.

Only when I cut the rope, right?

Rose gold and agave tincture drops
laid to rest upon the serpents tongue
until the speakers shake
the tree from which the martyr
falls unto the cloud
that splats on impact

Oh marmalade sweetness!
to what do we owe this
trembling rotten-legged pleasure?


Surface now in overtime
the sirens screeching
at the child across the street
who sinks into the boiling malt

Bring with you the chalice
full of aerial photographs
to drink the spectators thoughts
stuffed within the temporal stone

Remembering to forget
this holy place of presence
draw the mighty bridge we cross
into enveloping florescence

Choose the lie that you were ever in love with anyone other than yourself

Choose the lie that you were ever in love with yourself

Choose friends that you share but a skin-deep connection with

Choose loneliness in a crowd over the solitude of self improvement

Choose instant gratification over any chance of fulfillment

Choose the drink instead of realizing your potential

Choose to squander instead of coming to terms with who you are

Choose a window over a wall


CHOOSE LIFE

incite expletive
insides erupt
medial temporal
mediates chaotic
administers quell
regain yourself
doctor jekyll

the senseless sensorium
lodges whispers tympanically
they speak of Capgras delusion
alone in a full room with hope
spindling on an automated function

talking heads spitting trivial
commence antiquated response
****** en masse keeps you from barking
don't partake in Ramadan
you'll end up an absurdist

"Billy asks too many questions.
Must be a case of premature gestation.
Just give him 300mg of something stronger
than gummy bear vitamins til he's cycling
between attenuation and remorse."

... they gave him 25 to life for beating a dead horse.

The Infinite Archetype
The Grand Illusion

created gods
for the off-chance
of becoming king

divided we fall
martyr to the worms

Sow Seed. Repeat.

There's an essence
A celestial fragment
actualizing the aura
when it comes to this life

Most beautiful is ineffable
best brought out on keys
major over minor
lift me up now bring me down

emoting like the purple sky
shining in a white conundrum
where the night recedes
to ring in a new dawn

Getting chased down this never ending hallway
Spilling al-a on the dragway; obnoxious
Spittin unrequited, unconscious

Up n attem
Up n attem
Up n attem
Up n attem


Repawn

Reborn unlike its conception
Buckle when i’m straight steppin
In mosh pit
Meshing in a bog and
Lulling while crossing
the freeway, naked
Firing rounds like a space head
In this deleterious continuum
A requiem of the song birds
Pickin at my elbows
While my skull burns
Spilling salt spray on the gangway

Thats what the soul yearns
That’s when my heart burns
When i’m told that i’m too old
To be actin out
To only be enveloped
In the never ending clout

Of the melodramatic
Of the existential actor
that flows as a passenger:
acting like he doesn't know
what'll set you free is control
in this finite time of a man in the flesh

when you can only count on ghosts
you get desperate enough to reach out
and tear the fabric to bits

I've already died a million times
Reborn without missing a beat
A gridiron burden much larger than fading

I am here: as is, where is. so it goes...
Life hit me broadside and I danced naked in the streets,
exposed in lunar illumination

Enveloped in fearful curiousity
I dared to be different within an archaic monoculture
I cannot lie down, I've already tried!

This is who I am

Just as shadows reanimate
I see you in the summer time
Sundress and all
Knowing nothing more
That nostalgia ultra
Chasing you lakeside
Seemed the greatest ambition
As it still does
When it's summer time
And I'm sixteen again

Never liked to sleep until now
The only way you're here with us
A metaphysical omnibus
Its palpable within in a dream

you would not come back from this
to scrape the resin off these walls
messages and photographs
cue the light that stings the eyes
round and round the vinyl slide
vicious sick it spins again

In the darkest night
plastic soliette carves resolve
to misplaced indignation

You become a man
You are told what a man is supposed to do
You question the legitimacy

meanwhile it paces
and closes in
so you accept it
as imperative
as fate

in that muddy existence
of ebb and flow
you've denied the man
for a character

you're not as big a fan of him as you thought you would be
so you burn the facade in zazen
now you're looking for the remnants of yourself
and you've never felt so ******* alive

in hindsight
   u often say
     to yourself
         there was something
                           i could have done
                                                to stop this

                                                 over
                                                 and
                                                 over

                                                          again

Slice and chop into the dirt
exacerbate into the earth
Pillow-lined: the metal slate
My mental state triggers a string
that plucks at the guts
and resonates up, scraping

The ventral pull of innards
Takes my head down with it
As I listen to syllabic
'Toungue-and-Bleek'
No talk of god lifting the weak
Only if mortals sleeping

'Cept the thing, is that,
mortals are all I've seen
This lucid dream
is my home
This sweet by-and-by
is all I've known

We grow together
We grow apart
We grow alone
We take these pills to take us home

Yet when we're rolling in our beds
all we ever fear is death
Accept the fact we are alone
Close our eyes and dream of home

All blurred grey
Here lying as one
with the floor
Surrounded by the fruits of
that other place

The Underbelly that No One Ever Knew

Emerging from a daze
on into a hole
that I've stepped in
and realized
I would remain in
In due time

Thinking back to my earliest memory
Tracing lines with as much
a furrow as I'm capable of
Trying to figure out how I got here
Praying that I will wake up
                This Time

When I slipped into sleep
flattening the frostbitten blades
that liquify under my body
the creeping amperage of aches
distract me from exposure

When he said 'It ain't easy out there'
he didn't envision blood curdling screams
Vivid nightmares that would pop me off my cardboard mattress
The ever common theme of falling
hoping I would hit the gelid side street

The path is singular when succumb to tunnel vision
in a gritty simulation I carry light
wallet, knife, and the daunting magic meter
In the romantic beginning, I was Aristippus twice removed
sailing on an escape route, against the grain until the end (at least)

Lost in the clips til I was lost to this
Beside myself; come tell me what eats you
Tell me why and how
your existence was shaken

When nuclear family detonates
we are left here in ceremonial garb
with no hands to pick up the pieces

22 versions of a song about a ghost
Alabaster on a pitch black backdrop
Where sleep once resided
entropy strives through every pore
As if you are forcing me to live
O Holy Ghost
There is only pity in the pious
So I briefly hold a moment
Know it means much more
Than the infinite possibilities

i used to be but i've also been much less. now i dunno what i am or where i'm at. can't find my pants, either.

I told her to **** herself for me
but all she could find was a tide-to-go pen
next day i wondered what would have happened
if the bleach leaked out?

balled up wallowing
a fountain inside
Initiated with impatient fingers
the sky rolls and lingers
hit play as i lay splayed with the stereo

man with the mic emotes notes
spilling out the vile
feelin' vetted as the
pressure built to a busting must release

and people look more like
collective needs to me
embodied by vampires
looking for flesh embroidered
in a summer dress

buckets of plasma refusing to leak
as we speak
in quotients
calibrated by these lovely potions

zyban in my right hand
smoke loud til its ******* right, man
looming over my brothers dead body

like who came to watch me?
        like who came
                who came to watch me?

In the pit looking up...

Thoughts whizz and scramble that scrotal cpu
Intrusive; not even with a courtesy knock
Before barging in and overwhelming your existence
Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouineedyou until you’re sick spinning
Like you did in that barstool when you were ten, @ 73 rpm
And your pump pumps harder and it feels as if that's all there is to you
An engorged beast needing all the air in the room
Til there is no more
And the walls are caving: collapsed tin can
Little ***** boy caught on the back burner
Serves you right

Everything meaningful dies

karma kamaya sutra
of and apart from self
on and on and on
instilled and static
never worth more than a catch 22 conundrum
Never be but always caught
Between a rock and a hard place
Between you and time and empty space
Pulling at salvia fabrics for the life of me

We travelled through the trees and the coast in the rental vessel keeping the horse going with gasoline and the social lubricant of familiarity. I sat back, tiredsick in passenger seat. Small talk and private-pick nuances that creep up after four hours of awe and hobbies, deadpan, and tar cigarettes I bring down my oil-stained teeth. And I know it will end when the wheels stop. I know it. I’m well versed. I’ve progressed to responding unresponsively with less of the giddy tragic fluttery gut state you’ve left me in in the past. Let’s do some living after we die, my dear. Let’s do some living after we die.

flowing in and off tales of lupus
o how romantic
like, i can get my jaw to loosen
but can never release my temples

and when i finally do
i come to the realization
that we are all big cats

though meticulous
are quite mislead
by whatever fills us

whatever that is

******* all.
I can't wait til I leave.

you pity those people
crying in a field
momentarily
then you pity yourself

“They have no idea what it feels like to wait for the hurting to begin.”

you wait
you light a cigarette and wait
you have convinced yourself that you will see them again
you know that will not happen
but you are convinced
repeating the mantra to a faceless god

“If death is salvation,
I want you to bring me to the garden
where I can eat peaches
and have unprotected ***.”

wild dogs inebriated to the last breath
mutual respect john and i share
he was busy speaking to himself
a beautiful woodshed recluse

i'm on one
as assured as the fermented fruit
off the branches of our tree

salt dogs can't help themselves
hauling back brine
like a tidal flow drafting draught protein skimmer
ridding waste from the ocean

the detritus has been enough
tastes good to humanoid bivalves
sessile staring out from
terra nothing
magnetic limestone scrape

Rolling rocks revealing the undead hopping toward you, eggs instantaneously hatching out the ***. Boney insects with floppy ears and jawless mandible traps chasing rats through the sewer. During the injection trials in the BT building, I always thought of life as a rat. Post-extinction forefathers grimacing at the notion of our slimy, oppressive fingers gripping their tired rib cages. Claws clapse decisively. Box one. Bucket. Box two. Repeat.

Little engine feeding my unwarranted
Frenzied freedom fighter heart
We still fall before we’re able to
Start climbing the stairs
That bring us to our lover’s chamber

I wish I would have known
That we came here to **** strangers
The beast with two backs
Drills inside our heads
Longing for its exogenous signal
Or a way to implode

Just a knot in the gut anchoring words in my throat.

Tearing up pages of "I HATE YOU MORE."

Eternally lonely without you, in a tempest fit otherwise.

a voice that won't subside
in the air i can barely breathe
just a pre-disposed slab
in a vacuum

"Bring back my ******* life!"
i scream while sneaking drinks
between tasks and sleep

never know what its like to be
amidst smoke and woodsman's chores  
or else im bored into another man's dream

huffing compressed data
in a fugue state waiting for
tirades and the afterglow
please take a seat until then

all you beautiful *******
shine and test
the snow squalls
with a beacon
that spills
onto your feet

cull the whispers
heed the noise
broken boys
and latter-day saints
all rejoice
to the sound of wonderous rapture

reiterate the moment
when i hold you
because i never
felt at home
until then

what lies
in the ilk
of what it means
to be whole

there you were
turning a *****
what was i to do
but let it all flow

the night lit with us
and we decided to float
a barge unanchored
no taught tethered rope

you speak of an hourglass
like ******* unkempt
and everything
in the eye
of a needle

ill never complain of seeping pores
id bleed enough for a tribe to see
with elbowed ghosts and semantic ******
ill feed with every chance i get

the night grew dim
when you spoke of an hourglass
ill never complain of seeping pores
for whatever is real
is inherently my refrain

ill never complain of seeping pores
for forever is our refrain

Taken from a sentient, spit forth and proceed. Like the hangnail that hung until you ripped it off, then told it about what happened. What ... what would happen in the coming months. Try to distance it: a runner in the coldest part of warsaw. The image that serves as the vessel through which I breathe, test tube attached to each struggle which is nothing. Everything vile in the phlegm of yesteryear. Why wait in this hypoxic state? Keep diving within and without.

Now - as if settled through writhing. Cold dex and cut-to-**** with baby's breath. Whittle me in the corner with a carrot peeler cause i ain't got the guts. Test the ceslestial light like a fuse box or put the lid on.

a boxcar rooted in wheat
the laughing man finds solice
and shelter from the rain

faces on speed dial
weather and rot
why you caught up  
on a boy in a boxcar?        

acummulating dust
ferric oxide (rust)
acid-burning insides
decomposing through
living amongst
centipedes
and mice  

we have succumbed to a garden state
dig deep
for roots
or something to hold on to

dope sick
bear,
swim fair.
fly on
the moon.

love sick
loon,
hold fast
til june.


pious poet ...
              put your
              pen down.

Kevin and his ducks all in a row
death trophies on display
we don't do that, do we?

I want to be like the eider duck
between two grouse
in a house Kevin built

If forever is just a glimpse,
would you stay with me?

Counting lions in the field.
Watching their manes propel
like toy choppers in the spring

I wanna be your fun thing.          

Sometimes I wish I didnt have to apologize for being trampled,
but hell, im just a gazelle.    

Breeding, grazing, breathing, seething.
Feeling dog days in heat,        
rolling feats so splendid sweet.