The thought of you made my heart jump-start, I could feel my heart jump from fifty to one hundred beats in a minute. It made sense because we went together and moved through the day like a good song.

Each pump brought a new life to the love that we had. I never understood butterflies in stomachs until I had to look into your eyes. It wasn’t an upset stomach or just nervousness, it was love.

Love that never wanted to be held back, but wanted to spread into the world like a wildfire. And from that fire came something of a Baker’s globe mallow, a flower that blooms only after the fire.

This new beautiful life was something that awakened me each day with a smile and a thought, the thought was you. Each thought brought new joy into my soul, one that felt beaten and used for years, so I gladly opened up to smile and laugh and live and love.

Something I thought I would never have and yet, you gave me all of that and then some. Thank you for making my heart jump and my soul leap. I wished for the beauty of our love to live forever.

Dear [Redacted],

          It's been about four months. I'm proud and sad to say I still think about you every day. You are still my first thought when the sun's morning rays awaken this slumbering fool. You are still my last thought before I escape into my consciousness at night. And If I could remember my dreams, I could remember my dreams instead of the darkness that envelops them, I would bet that you were in every single last one of them.

         Four months of you not being in my life and you're still my muse. The reason my endless thoughts don't end with just tears on a page, but with words to express myself deeply. I still remember the feeling I got when I looked deeply into your eyes. My soul remembers the joy it felt when I heard your name. [Redacted], I thought of that name all day, just so I can listen to it all night. The reason I slept peacefully, the reason I woke with joy. [Redacted].

        Four months without you.....I gotta keep going. Although my heart pounds for you like the day we spent our first date, being nervous wrecks, still working but oddly satisfying. I must keep going without you. I still unfortunately love you [Redacted]. But now I must go.

~ Still with love, "An Unfortunate College Love Writer"

You left me for Dead.
I was Dead, alone, broken, you just didn't care about me. You never cared about how I felt or how I might react. Before I did anything, I thought about you.
Our time was short, sweet, and beautiful. But everything that's good will definitely come to an end.
There's no denying that.
I will always remember you, you probably don't care or remember. The days without you were long and quiet.
The days with you were quick and self-destructing.

My Demons and I used to be best friends, we used to spend all day together in bed and chat about our future together. It was filled with everything I’ve ever wanted and all the things I was scared of.
At one point I couldn’t tell if it were my Dreams of the future or his. Everything seemed to turn sour, although I was waiting for things to turn sweet they never did.

My Demons and I were best friends, but I can’t live someone else’s Dreams, so now I have to build my own future.

I’m a Heartless Romantic,
I used to be a Hopeless Romantic,
but my heart has been ripped out so many times I forgot to put it back in. I mean what’s the point when each time you Love it feels like you’re having an endless sugar rush. You’re high for so long that the crash throttles you so far down that you’re in an endless abyss. And once you stabilize you realize how deep into the abyss you went. As high as you went up is as low as you go down. You stay there for a while, trying to figure out what to do. You forget what light looks like and you walk further into the darkness. Dumbfounded by not knowing which way is up and where you’ll find light, you are lost. You are lost and in pain, a perpetual pain that never healed, because you didn’t let it. You realize this and you put your heart back in, and you heal yourself. Through this healing you find your ground, and you feel more comfortable. You finally found some light even though you’re still stuck in darkness, but you slowly get out of it.
You recovered!
just to do it all again...
But I’ll forever be a Heartless Romantic,
No a Hopeless Romantic.

We are all royalty, derived from one.
Man can no longer see the world without seeing unknown men in their Kingdom.
We all can be beauty, but some choose to be the beast. I may Love the color blue, and choose to live within the words I write. But You, you can Love the color red, and choose to dream in the song you sing.
We may never see eye to eye, but we can shake hands and Love each other as if we were related. Because WE ARE related. We live on the same earth, we drink the same water, and everything you need to live, I also need.
The game six degrees of separation can easily show that all of us are interlocked in the same world. The only thing holding us back, are the decisions we choose to make to our fellow brethren.
Next time you decide to cast away someone within the Kingdom remember, they are your brother and they are your sister.

Since the first time I saw you, I was changed. I wanted better for everyone, I wanted better for me. A story I've told a million times. The story that could never be rewritten. A tale so vivid, I have no doubts it was real. My reality was changed because of you. And now the story continues, with a new path I must follow.

Time has frozen. Time is finished. Time has started. Time could never defeat me, it only holds back the inevitable. So I will prosper knowing time is neither a foe nor an ally. You taught me that. I'm thankful for that revelation.

People come and they will sometimes leave. It's a concept as concrete and old as the human race. I met you for a reason and a season. And you opened my eyes into a world that was once forgotten about. I had the world grasped within my left hand, and your hand held onto my right hand. It felt like nothing could stop me. Until you let go of my hand, and the world dissipated from my grasps. I had seen a place of power, I hope never to go to again. You showed me the worst of humanity's best.

From the first day we met, my reaction could only be called deep infatuation. It means I wanted you, but I truly wanted to Love you like nobody has before. You filled every thought of mine, you and I were close. Closer than close. You were everything I've ever wanted, I could never truly describe how I felt about you. You taught me lessons about different personalities. And how the world can never be simple. It can never be clear. It will always be a mystery. Your Love will always be a mysterious force, that only the strong can harness. For your beauty could conquer a galaxy.

I wanted to give you the world,
Unfortunately it wasn’t in a college student’s budget.
So I gave you the next best thing,
I made you my world.
Gave you the keys,
And I threw away any locks.
I let you free roam and play around my heart,
and I prayed you wouldn’t play GTA 5.
I may have a big heart,
but it can only take so many drive-bys.
Once you hit five stars,
All I could do is spray and pray for my feelings.
When you finally said goodbye,
Everything hurt exponentially.
So I tried to find the locks,
Before the damage could be done.
But they disappeared the first time I looked into your eyes,
Eyes that completely changed my perspective.
Once I opened up everything to you,
Now I can't go back to heart lock down.
My world has transformed,
For better or for worse only time can decide.

I really Loved everything about you, the details of this Love can be found everywhere all over me. The way my eyes lit up when I saw you, the way my thoughts instantly changed to become only about you, the way my Heart would beat so loud I swore the people around me could hear it, the way my words would carelessly slip out of my mouth just when you were near me.
I called you My Love, because you were exactly that, My Love. Any anger or frustration I had disappeared instantly when I heard your voice. It was a bull in a china shop, but the bull moved so slowly and carefully because he didn’t want to disturb something he found so precious. It was my piece in my times of madness and a break when the world was crumbling.
Now that your Love is gone, I don’t know what to do. It feels like a distant memory of something I once cherished but was ripped away at a moment's notice with no Love or care given.
But the remnants of this Love still lives in my heart. My heart has always been on my sleeves, but now it feels like it became a hard brick hoping that nobody would watch it cry itself into submission. If you cut up my heart and divide it into sections, unfortunately there is a big part that is still dedicated to you. And no matter what I do, or how I heal this will always be the softest part of my heart. Always being triggered at the slightest of things, sending me into a spiral of emotions I could never hope to recover from…
But I need to recover. Although your Love drove me with such inspiration to take over the world, I must find that again. Maybe not in Love as it is such a volatile force, but within myself. I hope I can become whole again. I know I will become whole again.

People who had pet rocks are successful today because they understand the worth of a rock. Rocks are sturdy and hard, they don’t move unless moved, and are always there no matter the situation.
I always wanted a rock. Someone who would always be there for me when the world was crumbling down. Someone who didn’t leave me high and dry. Someone who I could count on in my worst moments.
I thought I had a rock once, but they left me when everything started falling apart. I wanted to be their rock, but they left me while I was trying to be sturdy.
Rocks are what holds us together. If you find yourself one, stay strong and hold on to them. Rocks are not meant to be kicked around or thrown, they're meant to be held down and loved.

Picture this,
It’s April, the world is moving forward as you are inside a coffee shop.
You went to be at peace, your home has felt like an enclosure.
Although it is most definitely your home there seems to be something always missing.
So you head to your second home, a coffee shop a few blocks away.
They all know you by name, and the inside jokes you all have fills the store with a warm laughter that can be felt even before anyone opens the door.
You have your bag, within it is two notebooks and a laptop. One notebook for any ideas you want to write down, and the other just in case. You have your laptop, because you said you will write on it, but you end up looking up random thoughts in your head.
You seem to not be able to focus, but that’s fine because you’re having better thoughts then when you were at home.
You spend a few hours there before you pack your bag, you get up, say your goodbyes, you look outside, the rain is pouring.
You remember you didn’t bring a coat, you couldn’t wait to leave the obstacle you call home that you never looked outside at the clouds that loomed overhead.
But in your defense you felt that same feeling for weeks now, the way those dark clouds in the sky look is how you’ve felt for most of your life now.
But as you’re walking out of this coffeeshop, someone stops you and asks why you didn’t bring a coat.
Without thinking nor without a hesitation you say, “I’m wearing one can’t you see.”, and before they can say anything else, “I wear my heart not on my sleeve, I wear it as a coat.”.
They look at you and say, “Hopefully next month I will grow from the concrete”.

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
I would love to spend all my time with you.
Even now I dream of futures that may await us.
Each one is more beautiful than the last, and yet nothing compares to you.
I haven’t been religious in a minute, and I find myself on my knees praying that our love lasts past this lifetime.
And although I may simply be a young writer, I would trade the rest of my late college nights just to see you smile. Never again would claws dictate the essence of laws.
Why? Well not only because you can brighten up a room in less time than I can think of an analogy, but because I never want to see you cry. And if you must please let them be of joy.
You’re someone with a heart so pure, I had to double take just to make sure it was real, but not a mirage my mind made up because it was dehydrated of joy. But one made up of simply your Love.
A Love so strong it makes me forget the reasons why I was ever sad in the past, makes me smile so wide my cheeks start hurting from this new expression. Makes me ever forget that I went through a phase, because all of them were simply leading to the best parts of my life.
And every time I think of you the only thing that goes through my mind is:
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
**** I ******* Love you.

Life has unexpected turns, truly anything can happen. It is not over until you can be happy.
There is not a guideline for happiness that you can find online. You must find it in your world. A world perceived and made by you, a world that is hidden.
The facade must be taken down, or you will lose yourself in a world of standards. You can not find happiness in someone's world, you cannot find it in science or religion.
But the world you plan, construct, and live in.
This world will have happiness, peace, and above all Love that will never die.

As an arrow flies throughout the sky,
it remembers its journey.
How it was
crafted,
Stored,
readied,
and launched.
He remembers the days where all he did was sit and think,
where he wished to be free.
Now that he is free he realizes that all is not how he dreamed.
He was heading towards a target,
one that he did not ever dream about.
He was going too fast.
All he cared for was life as it was,
but now as he flies through the sky,
breaking the air,
he realizes he wasn’t ready.

Since I was Born, I was sick.
The World had tried to choke out my Light since before I had Life. Since before I could fully think, it never wanted me around.
So much loss and pain just for one child, so today I must use the Life I gained to throw everything I have back at The World.
I refuse to let my Life be choked out by A World that never wanted to see me Rise. I shall Stand and Fight to make The World better.
Ever since I was a little Black Boy I have watched myself die.
It started with Trayvon, my big brother who died trying to Live Life and buy a snack. I died again with Tamir Rice, my little brother died for being Youthful and for being a child. And I kept dying and watching brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, fathers, and mothers of mine all die. I was forced to watch my Family die. I have seen myself die in all of these people over and over again. Whether we Lived in the same era or not. I saw myself assassinated and silenced by the people who were supposed to help me bring Change over and over again. I saw myself beaten for sitting down in the wrong place, I saw myself marching to make a difference. I have seen myself choked out, shot in the streets, lynched, and more.
I see my face on all of these men who have died for no reason, I always believe I’m next. Ever since I was a young boy.
Even now as an “adult” I never know how much time I have left. There are days when I have fun and Live every single piece of Life and think, “Today could be my last day of Life”. There are other days where it’s not as great and I think the same thing.
My father turns 50 soon and knowing what I know about Black men, I am scared. I turn 20 soon and knowing what I know about Black men, I am beyond horrified.
On some days I can’t handle knowing all of this and on other days I know if I don’t handle this there won’t be enough people to step up who want to drastically change This World that has been choking me out.
I just wish that my Black Life Mattered so I could Live each day without fear.

To the next girl I will Love.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with the mess that is me.
I don’t know how you got stuck in this position, but you must have the biggest heart.
I bet you have a way you look at me, that makes me smile.
And not the smile that I give to everyone to make them think I’m happy, but the genuine smile of my happiness.
The one I’m always embarrassed to say that I have, because I have a weird relationship with my smile, but you make me overcome it because,
You make me happy. Truly happy which is rare for me.
And I’m sorry for all the baggage I come with, I tried to check them in at a hotel, but they said that they only took one bag per customer.
I know it’s not your responsibility to carry these bags, but while I work on bringing them up to the room can you stand next to me?
Can you be there while I make a fool of myself trying to unpack and sort them?
It’s just that when you’re with me, these heavy bags suddenly become weightless, and I feel like I’m the champion of the world.
Although I may feel like the champion, I know it wouldn't be possible without you,
The true champion that is you.
But while we smile and unpack these bags, can we throw some away and furnish the world we’ve been given?
Together we have a chance at shaping the world as we see fit, so I see no problem with turning it into the world of our desires.
Why live in this place if we can’t make it our own?
We can turn it into something that we can both call home.
And even though I am a man living in a patriarchal world.
I am a Black man.
So at times I’m always on edge, never getting a chance to lay and be relaxed.
Together we can make a place where when we lay our heads down, we can both feel safe knowing that the other is near.
And that world can’t hurt us.
Eden is what we can call it, but neither of us are known to eat apples, so there will be no snakes allowed.
I bet if I look back to see how we started it was something embarrassing.
I probably tried to talk to you, but could only get a few words out.
I bet I was so nervous, because why would someone so amazing like you give me the time of day, especially when we live in an age, where time seems to be the only thing that matters.
Somewhere along the line you took pity on the poor soul that is me, and again,
I’m sorry that you have to deal with me.
I don’t always know what to say, or the time to say things, or when not to say things, or what to do, but you still stuck with me.
I can’t promise a lot except that you will always have all of me, nothing less and everything more.
It’s the least I could do, and even then I wish I could give you more.
I wish I did know what to say at times, I wish I wasn’t a nervous mess, I wish I felt like I deserved you, but I will always think you deserve more.
Again, I’m just a mess with a mantra of trying to do my best.
But never for my own sake, I do it all for you.
The future we dream of, the adventures we shall go on, and the world we shall see.
And yes, there will be hard times, nobody ever said Love was easy.
But together we can do it.
Why should the world stop us, when instead we could shape it?
Through the pain we’ll get stronger, our bond strengthened, and our Love tested so much it’ll be unbreakable.
To write of Love is sometimes complicated to me, but I take a step back and think of you, and all the words I need come to me.
Every adjective, noun, vowel, seems to come to me once I put you on my mind.
It gives me the power to pick up a pen and never let it go until everyone knows of our Love.
Loving you, is like a videogame for me.
My earliest and best moments of life deal with them.
I remember my first video game.
I picked it up and had no idea what I was doing.
But I continued to work on it, never giving up until eventually I got it.
And I kept getting better and better each time I tried.
I got stuck sometimes, but I never gave up.
I kept trying until I got it right.
I’m not the best, but I’m dedicated to seeing it through till the very end.
Bitter or sweet.
Hard or easy.
Long or short.
Now I look back at all the poems I’ve ever written. And although they all aren’t addressed to you, I feel like they were all for you.
Practice for trying to find the words to show you that I Love you.
And when I hold your hand, and refuse to let it go, it’s because I’m scared that I’ll never get the chance to hold it again. So I hold it tight, and pray for the day I never have to let it go.
And yes, I believe that even in death, when I am no longer on this earth.
I will still have my connection with you.
Our flames, still burning as bright as ever.
In our next lifetime when we meet each other again, I only have one request.
Give me that look, the one you know will make me smile, the genuine smile which lets you know how happy you make me.

After all this time I still wait and wonder if there will be any type of gestures. Something that would show me everything I’ve ever needed to hear.
After so much time I try and realize this will never happen. Something in me broke the minute we stopped being us.
After crying for what seems to be an eternity I can only think of you. Something tells me I will be like this for a long time.
After it all ended. Something broke in me.
After it all ended. Something broke in me.