She would take me horse back riding through her small ranch and through town.

I remember the way men would look at her riding
my aunt’s quiet composed tough exterior
as her horse galloped through town
she was unimpaired & confident
her dad had taken her riding since small

My grandfather believed a women should be strong just as worthy and just as capable as any man
and that was unheard of in small village
but he was older when he had her and he had made enough mistakes to be wiser
a better father the second time around
and by the time
I came to be
he was soaked in spirit and soul
and he told me
to keep digging within that
that’s where I would find my treasure





He was right
My aunt and I
reek of love and it because he was


he was flawed
he was humble
And he took responsibility for how he was

and I do not want to forget him
I keep the picture of him and I
him and his white loose shirt
me and my old Led Zeppelin t-shirt

Thank you for loving me even if you never kissed me
thank you for existing even if it is not here next to me
Thank you, and I wish you well
I wish you comfort and a full heart
I wish you love and I wish you great joy

You are as bright as any star and in my eyes your, you have still got so much left to give the world and I hope you never forget, even when the going gets tough

They did not teach her her tongue
she was tongueless
mute to her past
she was taught the language of those who came and settled upon the land
seeking to own the living
breathing
slow moving earth

her half moon earrings were just hand me downs from her family
the art of her people
their prestige as artisans a quiet story tucked within the hands who made them are speechless to her now
...
Two crescent moons stacked smiling upwards–
I look for these earrings often but I cannot find them Or the fishes...or the face of her mother or the scent of Janitzio
some days I feel like that very    
                          
                          isl­and

disconnected from everything and surrounded by water
And I feel like fire burning at foot of a lake
and I want to push back the night but then all of a sudden
there are humming birds who hover over me (a shift of existence) as I become the wind under their wings
and I take after their countless legends of mermaids
Eréndira’s tears lay salty on my tongue   
and I will myself through the fright and the this plague –that bore semblance to the time her people died and dropped like flies
from small pox their bodies surrendering to disease–
to dive into this water and swim
through the vast expanse of hurt
I swim through these fictitious tales of separation
of the illusion of the “other”
of the resistance to understand and mesh cultures 
I swim past these notions of perpetuating intolerance ...
past the use of  “other”
Until I reach my own shore
my own place of being
And there I release and heal all misery
and cleanse my heart and soul

there I sink my teeth deep into this bread of words
“I will not perpetuate more sorrow in my life”

everything that is a chain
I free myself from
everything that does not love has love destined for something else
but this small beating mass in my chest
is mine to nourish and to love

I  surpasses the violence of the collision of words and I bear fruit

Something is present in this empty room
The light coming through the window adds its brilliance
to the already present luminosity that oozes from everything
in this small apartment I am calm and truly home amongst my being

Every poem I read today
made me weep
spoken word and hip hop coalesced
brought the concrete streets and grit
and pure relentless of yesterday
pushing it through my lacrimal sac

I miss her

“Who is your favorite Beatles member?”
This was a serious question as she was a self proclaimed Ringo fan, and anything Ringo related  she could get her hands on she did

Some people are just so sure of what they like
of things
of life
that they make you want to questions what you like
They’re like a strong river, and you have to make sure to keep obedient to the nature of your own flow

I remember turning towards her bracing myself to be met with vehement disagreement and saying  “ Harrison”.

“Oh, okay” she said and kept digging around in the crates filled with vinyls

We must rise each morning and welcome that sweet sensation that we have arrived
however long it took and no matter how often we lost the trail emerging from our heart towards the world
Today we sit in our bodies and we abide
calm, strong, kind and unmoving
we reveal in our beauty and we joyfully smile at all the things that brought us here
“Yes, I see you” we whisper to the throbbing parts of us
And say, “But, this life is so much more that, that I cannot let you run the show” and we reach for what makes us warm inside, all that heals us and all that opens it arms towards us in loving gratitude we thank and embrace