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When I’m with you,
all my struggles and troubles
seem to wash away
in broad, deep, and rapid rivers.
I don’t want to ever be without you.
I need you in my world
so that I can feel
your profound tranquility.
  Apr 10 Gabriela X Flores
دema
i am the best
version of myself
when i am comfortable
surrounded by my loved ones
and knowing there are no time restrictions
  May 2019 Gabriela X Flores
JR Falk
so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.
3:06am
08.09.18

im actually drinking coffee rn. rip
I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if that love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts that they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
Because you broke me
And I was looking for different fingers
To place different pieces and hoping
That the outcome would be a masterpiece
That maybe one of them would find a way
To cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself that you wouldn't be the only one
That the scars that mark my body wouldn't define my worth to be loved
I am still not entirely sure that you aren't the only one
Who could ever touch me

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- I am hoping one of them will show me
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay
You always gotta put me in second place don't you?
This game I play is a game of one
The only risk is that I go insane
And I, have lost my mind in the riddles you play
Am I losing my sanity or is this my destiny?
I'm a sucker for this game I play of one
You're the ultimate prize in this game of life and I'm just the claw searching my way for you
I want you, I need
YOU
What does it take to win  
YOU
I hear patience is key, and if patience will get me to you then patient I shall be
To hold you in my arms is the ultimate prize for me
I feel myself sinking
And rising again and again
My body and soul in absolute chi
I am an energy, all things flow within me
I feel the tension in my bones and warmth in my soul
I feel at ease
There is beauty within me you cannot see
There is natural peace and harmony within
We don't need no religion, we only need love and compassion
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