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Apr 13 · 102
Gabriella Apr 13
I did not know love
Until it was so obvious in front of me

I did not know I was supposed to feel special all the time
Until you made it known how important I was to you

I did not know love was what you called
An everlasting happiness
A reason to smile without having a reason

I thought I had it before, but it was not that
It was young and sloppy
It was about my comfort and not the meaning.

I know it well now,
But it wasn't until after
It was pushed in my face.

And now it's all I see.
Apr 13 · 121
Gabriella Apr 13
I focus
so much on
that tiny piece of
paper that comes in
      every little cookie
          And when I don't
                Get that little piece of paper 
                            My day is ruined and         
                              nothing seems to matter anymore
              Why do I rely on such a tiny piece of paper?
               Generalized for the masses
          To give me something to look forward to.
        This means nothing
But it meant something in a moment,
and it could have meant something so
much more
If it were in the cookie.
Fortune cookies are good until you open them and there's no fortune inside.
May 2019 · 19
Gabriella May 2019
I didn't know.
How could I have?
I kept a strong distance


The both of us.

Not because I didn't want to help
Because I didn't know, and now that I do

I wish

That I didn't know.

Because it hurts more to know now,
Because I still don't have enough capacity

To help

I feel trapped by my guilt.

But you feel more trapped in your head
That's far worse than the places I've been


I don't need to hurt to feel.
Mar 2019 · 421
Gabriella Mar 2019
This is the first time
In almost 4 years
I did not say goodnight

It feels so unnatural
And so surreal,
That for the first time
In almost 4 years

You aren't going to say it back.

I can say it
And you will say it back
But I don't want you

And I see now,
For the first time
In almost 4 years
I don't need you.

You're not the only thing in my life.
Gabriella Feb 2019
blue drops fell
onto the rug,

the hair covered
in what we thought
could cure the sadness

is only soaked
in our emptiness.
Jan 2019 · 363
Gabriella Jan 2019
I dumped my laundry
On the ground
Hoping it would allow me
To feel motivated

Motivated to move
To clean to work
But all it did
Was sit on my floor

I sat with it too
Staring at the pile.
Looking for the answers
Written in my shirts
Jan 2019 · 210
Gabriella Jan 2019
Now that we're apart
My food still has taste

But a flavor of salt is always added
Because water falls into my bowl
Every time

Now that we're separate
My friends are still with me

But I always wish to sit next to you
Because being held is all I desire
For tonight

Now that we're going away
My life will still continue

But it will be odd for a while
Because you won't be there for me
Just going through a breakup right now. Trying to organize my feelings
Dec 2018 · 735
Haiku collection
Gabriella Dec 2018
Please no more fighting
We're friends with cruel intentions
But friends always first

We love each other
Eventually we leave
Knowing another

Men must prove worthy
To defeat evils within
Training means nothing

Do not leave yourself
Accept the body and mind
As one entity
Unrelated haikus, but they are great together.
Aug 2018 · 281
Long distance love poem
Gabriella Aug 2018
My kisses travel faster than light
My hugs have seen some incredible sights
Detached as they are from me,
They still have plenty to see
As my affections and words pile up high
There is no way they could be a lie.
You receive these and hold them dear to your heart,
And it feels as if we were never apart.
Jun 2018 · 265
Gabriella Jun 2018
I'm always excited to see a cake
When I walk into a room.
But the thing about this pastry
Is that I don't think it's very good.
I grab the plate with this sugary delight
And begin to dig in until
I realize
Once again
That cake is almost always not what I wanted;
There's too much frosting,
The flavor is nonexistent,
Too crumbly and dry.
I've began to realize that
It's not the cake I'm excited for,
It's whatever is going on that I am happy about.
If there is cake, then that means there's an event.
And I'm happy about the event.
The cake is a mere distraction.
May 2018 · 189
Concept of death
Gabriella May 2018
I don't think I'll ever understand death.
I've known many that have died that I was
Not close to. Memories of them are dead.
They're lives and death had not resonated
With me. And since my reactions have not
Changed since my first experience with it,
I do not expect it to change when death
reaches out to take someone I love or
someone close I've known for a long while

My reaction will always be the same.
I won't hear of the death till a day passed
and when I hear it, I won't be surprised
Of course they died now, they were old, lonely
had cancer, were not themselves anymore.
And everyone will agree with me too.
But their feelings will be more intense and
more heartfelt than mine could possibly be
And I will act as if it hit me hard.
Apr 2018 · 226
D i s t a n c e
Gabriella Apr 2018
Some days I barely recognize you are not near
Other days your absence is every fear

This permanent distance between us
Is not felt.
Only on nights where I am about to welt
Do I ever think of you
And me, lying near each other as eternal beings.

This permanent distance spans further as time goes on
It is not bad to be far
It can make the heart grow fonder.
Feb 2018 · 321
Snow say
Gabriella Feb 2018
when it is snowing
everything in the world
seems muffled
it's almost as if
the whole world stopped
talking to hear what
the sky has to say.
and what it says
is so beautiful
it's left the world
Jan 2018 · 292
Gabriella Jan 2018
You are so lovely
Who else would bring me this joy?
You are my only

I love you of course.
But thoughts of him whirl around
And what could've been.

I wish for options
To look from another place
But I cannot look
Jan 2018 · 204
I saw everything
Gabriella Jan 2018
I saw everything unfold through someone else's eyes.
The complete and utter fear when someone dies,
passes through so quickly that they don't have time to realize
What happened.

I saw their life run past in a fleeting moment
Everything they ever knew twisted and bent.
All their laughter, kisses, lovers and money spent
Was gone.

They lay motionless unable to speak,
No one was there when their body went weak.
Or when they dissolved and began to reek
Away, away.
Jan 2018 · 252
Gabriella Jan 2018
I can make my instrument sing,
But not as well as others can bring.
I feel as if I'm soaring above a crowd
Above the entire orchestra,
I can hear myself floating above everyone else.
But yet, there is one who soars higher than me.
I move with the sounds
But they move better
More naturally.
My pitches are in tune,
I can hear them over everything
Until theirs is overpowering mine
Lifting me from my seat
Into a place that is unknown.
My tones struggle to sound
But they falter away.
Like the ending of
Movements in a symphony.
Comparison will ruin you.
Jan 2018 · 264
Gabriella Jan 2018
If I want to change
Then I will do so myself
Without any help

So it's a new year
And I'm expected to change
But I do not care

I am on my own
No other situation
Makes me dependent

There's too much to do
It feels that I cannot do
But I can and will

Everyone changes
By making their own choices
Not for the new year
It's a new year, everyone wants to change.
Dec 2017 · 231
Dreamed of you
Gabriella Dec 2017
I flew across a black sky,
Across entire galaxies in one night.
Finding selves I could've been
And selves I've already seen.
But in each and every situation
I found myself with no other option,
I will always find you,
And you will always find me.
Again, I had a dream in which I travelled through different areas of the universe to see where all my selves had gone. And they are all happy with where they are.
Dec 2017 · 256
Dreamed of death
Gabriella Dec 2017
I read my own obituary last night.
Car crash, fifteen years old.

     After some thinking
     I do remember dying.

          I remember the flash
          And the scraping of metal.

     But I do not remember how
     I woke up here.

To continue a life
That has already ended.
I had a dream last night that I had died and only crossed over into a different area of the universe to continue living.
Dec 2017 · 437
Gabriella Dec 2017
As soon as I heard you were enlisting
You never struck me as the type
To completely change your plans.
Such a free spirit before,
Only to conform
Simply because you were afraid
Afraid of what you could have done.
There was so much more I imagined you doing,
Playing for pleasure was always your living.
But now, you are to listen to a droning shout
As the entire world shuts you out.
And I'm forced to sit here and act like it's okay,
That you're throwing your entire life away.
Perhaps I have a biased view
Maybe serving your country was what you were meant to do.
And I'll let you go
To live life on your own
Although, I wish I would've known
How much you've helped me grow.
Dec 2017 · 351
Gabriella Dec 2017
I wish I could write things with meaning
With piercing words and breathtaking diction.
I wish that I could give all that I was thinking through words and art,
But everything I want to express is cut short
Broken down or unclean.
I want people to feel things when they read,
When they live I want my thoughts
In the back of their heads
Influencing their own ideas.
I want those feelings to inspire others
To express themselves through my words.
It's always been a dream.
And a far-fetched one at that.
Dec 2017 · 888
To Those Who Quit
Gabriella Dec 2017
You are not the first,
Nor will you be the last
To neglect that wretched child of humanity,
That poor soul named Ambition.
Many will find them in the strangest of places,
At work, while out on a walk, even within their own homes.
We are all parents to Ambition.
Many worry that the appetite of this child is without measure,
That they have no food to give it.
Then they decide to abandon it,
Hoping that a kinder, gentler soul will find it and care for it.
I found Ambition shivering and alone in my classroom.
I will not starve them.
I will take them with me and feed them all they can eat.
Ambition is clever.
They can find food in times of plenty and in times of hardship.
We must care for ambition, and if you will not, I will.
Not my work, a friend wished for it to be posted here.
Dec 2017 · 407
A Beautiful Anxiety
Gabriella Dec 2017
“You’re beautiful,” he says wholeheartedly in bed
“And you’re the only thing that goes on in my head.”
She looks at him concerned and declares
“I think I’m all right as if anyone cares.”
“I care!” he whispers into the night.
“I care about you, you’re a great sight!”
She smiles and nods and looks in his eyes
“I wish I could believe all of your lies.”
“Who says I am lying?” he responds with a frown.
“I try lifting you up but you always stay down, why?” he asks more concerned
As if these words will help her concur
“I’m sorry,” she looks down, “I don’t believe your words.”
“They’re too extravagant for me. Too robust.
If anything I think you’re just full of lust.”
He looks at her astonished, then grabs her hand,
“I try my hardest to make you feel grand.
But with the way you act, it’s seems it’s not worth it.
If I try my hardest and you try your worst,
Then what’s the point of having you closest.” his eyes well up and his belly is full of anger.
“I apologize for being so nice, when all you want is a sadder device.”
At this point, she stopped listening, she knew what he was saying,
It’s the same thing over why she’s insane.
“Why can’t you feel that I love you so?
I love you as much as the wind blows!”
She looks at him once and then twice and shakes her head
“I try to see how you do, I try to see it in every way possible
But my mind doesn’t seem to get over that obstacle.
You do everything a man is to do with a lover
But I guess my soul is just made out of rubber.”
He looks at her strangely and tries to put it together
Twisting his mind into shapes unimaginable he looks at her and states
“Well, this is unfathomable. I do everything I can to make you happy!
And you don’t seem to want that, no not at all!
It’s almost like you’re trying to be a drawl!”
She turns away instantly, now she’s angry too
Why would he say such a thing to her?
She wants to be sad, she wants to be afraid
“You know what?” she says “You’re totally right.”
Confused and upset he gives her a weird look.
“This melancholy feeling is all in my brain.
I only do this because I want constant pain.”
“That’s not what I meant! That’s not what I wanted to say”
“Well it’s what you had said, and that’s how it’ll remain.”

— The End —