I feel like we’re going in circles darling
this back and forth
tugging at my heartstrings
only to leave me at midnight
Don’t play me for a fool once again
my heart doesn’t deserve to feel broken
my feelings aren’t your little toy that can be messed with
I’m worth more than all your mind games combined babydoll

See I wanted to write about you and everything that I silently picked up on up
if you're wondering what I picked up on
Body language and cues
The way you tensed up when you were about to hear bad news
your anxiety
how it at times it came crashing down and you didn't know what to do
I reassured you the best way I could  
when you're concentrating or deep in thought about something
( I knew not to disturb you )
opening up to anyone was a task in itself
you hated doing that / I understood
The way you like to sing off key you think you sounded horrible singing wise
I disagreed
Personally, to me, I thought you sounded good
you told me a lot of info about yourself gradually over the months we got to know each other
I told you a lot of things as well
but one thing is for sure I picked up on several things you weren't aware of and I'd never tell you this
but you're easy to read just like a book
if you're annoyed, angry or upset
you might think oh no one cared or  noticed
I noticed
as it was written all over your face meaning you had the most readable ****** expressions
if you're wondering how I knew about your moods
it's simple really I could tell in the tone of your voice
if you were about to cry you had a certain tone of voice that suggested quivering in I'm about break down and cry tone of voice or how you were upset you had a certain way of behaving that let me know either to give you space or to comfort you
if you were mad ( depending on what the issue was / who the individual was and how long ago it was in addition to the details determined everything )
how you'd need space or you felt upset / still brought up the issue no matter how long ago said everything
and how could I forget your favorite songs the way you hummed them
favorite food and snacks
I still remember the details that you told me
the way we both know I'm fine or I'm okay
is a complete lie when either one of us
is upset mostly you though
when you're upset or down it's like I can sense that your energy is off / vibes are off some way or another
but one thing about our friendship is how we told each other several things
and because of that I still remember how you react
favorite snacks
your dreams and what your plans for the future were
how you handled relationships

The first time I had fallen in love
It kinda snuck up behind me
I wasn’t expecting it
it was a long time ago in the past
I remember feeling so nervous
Afraid of making a bad impression and embarrassing myself
when I fell in love with them
it wasn’t one of those oh it’s you or  a fast realization type of love
it was one where I can vividly remember the moment where I fell in love
and after all these years and months I still have nostalgia about it
I knew the likes and dislikes
what their dreams in life were and several other things
You know how you know something like the back of your hand and it doesn’t matter how many months it’s been or how much time has passed
you still remember the things that were told to you in that moment
That’s how it was with them
I knew when they were  mad , angry  and upset  
wanting to turn their back on the world
All I could think was I love you and your flaws even when your angry , upset and mad
there is nothing you could do to convince me otherwise
When I realized that I was in love with them
the silent battle to tell or not to tell was the question
the thing was I didn’t wanna lose our friendship
all i could think was us breaking apart as friends would hurt worse verses us breaking apart
as a couple
And by the time I had realized that I might want to tell them
it was already too late
The chance had come and gone

But when a opportunity to tell them presented itself to me
I couldn’t do it
the old feelings that I thought were gone
rose up and suddenly the courage to tell was gone
just like it had arrived
- The things you’ll never know// The dilemma of falling for someone who you’re just friends with

I understand why poets are anonymous
The ability to be able to write one’s inner thoughts and feelings without judgement
in addition to added privacy
But most of all an outlet
an escape from the world and the responsibilities every once in a while
Just taking a moment to reflect on things
sometimes what’s written down on the pages or online can bring up old emotions that were better left untouched within the corners of one’s mind
other times it can feel so overwhelming having so much info to dump somewhere
but the only outlet available is a keyboard and your thoughts
writing and writing until you feel satisfied with your work
or until the feeling of finally letting go resembles a trash bin from recycling
you’ve unloaded the thoughts and you feel a bit lighter

I am more than just another pretty face
isn’t it ironic that people only pay attention to you when you’re all dolled up
makeup
Whether that involves foundation , powder or lipstick
Feeling like a stranger to myself when I’m all dolled up
I feel more like myself when I’m bare faced
No makeup on
Although I love wearing makeup don’t get me wrong
But sometimes I wish people would pay attention to someone’s written work
The poetry that one creates and is able to express herself through her words
verses on physical appearance
I understand why poets are anonymous
it’s not to increase the chances of people
begging for a face reveal
It’s to be able to write one’s inner thoughts and feelings without judgement
in addition to added privacy

If you didn't know her very well then you would
think she's just another stereotypical girl
that's where you're mistaken in so many ways
here is how I view this mysterious girl
with a small and petite frame
any dress she wears fits her like a glove
soft and snug as she slips on a red dress that did her justice
highlighting every curve
Don't even get me started on how this girl honestly doesn't need any makeup
for her beauty is internal
radiant, loving and beautiful are the three words I think of immediately
when her name is spoken aloud
the way I'd describe the color of her eyes is mesmerizing.
from afar,  you'd think that they were a regular brown color.
''It isn't until you get the chance to actually talk to her. Then you realize how oh so wrong you were''
Alluring dark brown eyes
Outlined by long, full eyelashes, and above are her arched eyebrows.
she had long voluminous dark hair that was the color of the midnight sky
which framed her face perfectly
Although on some days, it could appear unkept
or messy, but it didn't matter. To me, she was beautiful no matter how her hair looked.''
she didn't need to dye it any other color
for it's a reflection of her Latin roots
her personality is like a little kid at heart
she's so spontaneous
wanting to travel and experience new things and meet new people
It's so exciting to see that the little things that make her happy
For example, the way she sings at the top of her lungs
When her favorite song comes on the radio
Gets that certain glint in her eyes
I honestly can't decide if that glint reflects playfulness or adventure
either way, I love it
Her thirst for knowledge
Wanting to know different things
Sometimes she tends to let her mind wander
going from one subject to the next one
But if something really captures her interest
then she’ll do everything in her power to know anything and everything about the subject

The way she loves someone is truly like no other
It’s not about the gifts or the gesture's
the staying up until sunrise
to make something heartfelt or write a paragraph
it all depends on how long you’ve known her and two other factors
and you’ll be able to tell if she loves you and cares
look at her actions they speak more volumes than words do

last but certainly not least is how much she thrives off of her alone time
It’s nothing personal
But she loves having time to herself
time to recharge so to speak
from the world around her