A moment suspended Crystallized like morning dew Trapped prisms of moonbeams in spherical orbit Ever swirling in hopeful anticipation New dreams precipitated Old dreams awakened All suspended in a perfect spherical moment Hovering above trembling hands and shining eyes In simplified complexity
I suppose there will always be a part of me that will wait for you in doorways Stepping over the threshold Hesitating Contemplating Looking back Then moving forward Each time the pause becoming less Underneath the stairwells of bookstores
I will search for your face in the crowds And for your footsteps along the shorelines I will feel your presence in places we used to visit Perhaps this may never stop
For you were woven into my life as a piece of the fabric A part of who I was A force in who I was going to be You were a friend that I expected for always Someone to grow alongside myself
But then you turned your head and shut your eyes Seduced by the promise of a remedy for your lovelessness A body to temper the loneliness Leaving me to search for your face through caverns of fog And wondering why I am so often a second thought for you
I used to be angry But that potency is fading with time And someday you will be a memory
Yet in this subsiding bitterness I shall keep your secrets safe The secrets that drip from your lips and waver in your eyes You are different than me though, love And I shall find peace in the comfort that mine were never yours to know
I am empty I said In not so many words The veiled confessions dripping off his ears like candle wax As the wick burns down Filling the room with a palpable smokiness That only I can sense
I am choking I am crawling I can feel my light fading
For I am a teacup Sitting on a shelf Dusty but decorated My handle pointed towards the wall Breakable And uninspired
How I long to be filled with more than emptiness To have him pour all of his being into my heart and mind To have him look into my eyes and see more than himself But each confession only serves to deepen the loneliness As a search for a soul to listen through the words
I am an island A safe haven A warm body For traveling sailors to rest their weary heads Blink away tears Tears that fall splash disappear into the saltwater sea The droplets dissolving into the tapestry of waves Becoming one A scream A relief A prayer Always part of the beautiful secret that I keep tucked within my shores
Wanderer, I am your island My love for you is true and unconditional My vegetation is lush My beauty is boundless For you Take what you need And in this moments I am yours completely I offer myself to you I will sing you to sleep with the sound of my wind Watch over you Shine the stars upon your face Cradle your cold hands And you will feel home
But I am an island And sometimes I have storms My branches break My waves crash My flowers start to wither
And, in these storms, I am just an island Just land and water Just shore and sand I am just an island The magic is no more Permanently impermanent I become
…And nobody stays…
Having all they need, these sailors rush to board their ships With warm hands, they pluck my flowers Making hurried bouquets to take home to their loves Their fingers sting Why do they sting? And stems sway in the storm
They never listened to my whispers They will not listen to my cries They only needed some distraction That they found within my eyes
With the winds The footprints fade No evidence that they were ever here
I have everything to give.
I have nothing left to give.
I am an island. An island An island An island I am.
Is there meaning in the madness? The careless moments strung together like broken Christmas lights inside a cave The moments that ***** your fingers and draw unwelcome blood The madness that you rage against inside your chest
Most days, yes I say as a soliloquy, sipping my tea and watching the passing storm clouds My eyes are wet but my heart has dried Opened up and beating forth. But today, I don’t think so I can’t bring myself to say yes For I am emblazoned in a firestorm All consuming There is only hurt – And doubt – And loss – And isolation – My eyes are no longer stinging They are burning Almost bleeding Today I can’t blink away the shadows
This madness is finding me Entwining me And, at times, defining me As I remain motionless trapped in the endless webs Searching through crowds of strangers to find myself And turning up empty every time.