Notepad: Poems

...

Notepad Jul 2018

...

I know it hurts, I'm sorry
Please don't cry, I'm sorry
I'll miss you, I'm sorry
...
I will always love you, Good bye
...

It hurts to lose someone you love

#sad #pain #hurt #death #goodbye #imsorry #iloveyou

☼

Notepad Sep 2021

☼

There is light in thee
from the darkest galaxies
reflects light in me

🌙

#love #sun #moon

Ahead

Notepad Jun 2022

Ahead

I hope you find her
In the darkness that surrounds you
I hope she will care for you
Better than I could
I know I left
For I am not meant for you
I cannot hold you
I do not deserve you
I no longer exist in your mind
Rather a poem in your heart
Our love will guide us better
In someone else's arms
You left a mark in me
That I shall treasure
I hope you find your lover
My lost partner

You will always be loved

Always with me

Notepad Dec 2023

Always with me

I can't count sadness
Memories buried in me
River from the sky
See you on the other side
Forgiveness in our goodbyes

Away

Notepad Apr 18

Away

I told you who I see,
Because im done blaming me,
And you choose to walk away,
Didn't even tried to stay,
Easy to brush away,
Cause you dont care anyway...

You showed me how much you treated me badly and I pretended that im okay so you wouldnt hurt yourself. I believe that there is good in you always, that's why I stayed and hoped we could make it. But you gave me no signal, no response, no story. What am I to do? When I did the best of me for you? Making me feel like I haven't done so much in trying, in hoping that everything is going to be okay. But this isn't okay, how much pain I embraced from your absence, silence, recklessness, hopelessness and to make me feel like I'm not being enough for you. Why do I despair now? I don't know anymore...

#depression #broken #lettinggo

Being

Notepad Jul 2021

Being

Find thy inner peace,
in the midst of all unknown,
creating your flow,

Growing

#selflove #care #find #haiku

Bittersweet

Notepad Sep 2020

Bittersweet

Every bite of you
comes with an aftertaste
of broken fragments

Blackbird

Notepad Feb 2023

Blackbird

You are out of my reach
But i still feel you near
Even if time keep us apart
we'll always be here
I know you don't believe me
Sometimes I don't too
But as long as you're happy
I will be too
Don't press the scars
that we left behind
It will heal one at a time
my love, we'll be fine
Don't worry about tomorrow
Because this is my goodbye
You're a free crow, my love
Soaring through the night

🖤

Blank

Notepad Nov 2019

Blank

I feel so blank that i couldn't keep my head up,
because my anxiety starts to build up,
I drank to lift my spirits up,
but it wasn't enough for three cups,

I'm not broken but it feels right,
maybe just sad from last night,
I can't share what's inside,
can't even smile for a little awhile,

Why...

#sad #blank #empty #alone #depress #anxiety

Blind

Notepad Jun 2020

Blind

If I close my eyes
I'll end up missing you
But leaving them open
would turn me blind
And I'd lose you forever

#eyes #sad #miss #you #feel

Blue

Notepad Feb 2023

Blue

Dear blue sweater,

Fluffy as I can remember
Warm as the summer
Huggable in any weather

You were everything I wished
but the opposite of my likes
But who am I to judge
when opposites collide?

I hoped a lot of things,
That went the wrong way.
Accepting our difference
made a lot of change.

I tried to see the good,
Not the quality you present
What more can appearance do?
When you're perfectly fur-fect

You'll always be my favorite
The comfy mellow fabric
The blue sweater I adore
Even if blue isn't your favorite

P.s. It looks good on you.

#farewell

Breathe

Notepad Dec 2021

Breathe

Close my eyes
Color me blue
Take my breath
Make me new

Exhales to the ocean blue

#breathe #change #new #lettinggo

Carry on

Notepad Jan 2022

Carry on

I was too much in life
Never tried to be less
Only wished for life
But now I'm a mess

You were all I had
warmth of every sunrise
Cozy as my sweater
Cocoa on a moonlight

It was my choice to stay
Knowing the cost it takes
I was only myself
But a no one to you

You carried on
Not my will to break
Though in life onward
You'll be okay

I know this won't reach you,
But all I ever wanted to say
Is that I'll miss everything
that felt real to me

I wish you all the best
in life, heart and mind ♡

Coffee

Notepad Oct 2020

Coffee

Your eyes were sweet as coffee,
Warm with endless purity,
Intrigued by your aroma,
Falling deep into coma,
Take a sip or two,
Maybe three will do,
Till it burns my tounge,
Leaving me a mark,
Of your burning love,

Sipped too soon

#sad #burn #metaphor #heartbreak #poetry #coffee

Cold coffee

Notepad May 2022

Cold coffee

The past haunts me still
As the silence stole the show
I think I'm not her
Just Leave the coffee cold

You deserve the sunsets
And all the golden stars
Forget about me
Enjoy the sweet chocolate
My everlasting heart

Random thoughts that I can't put into better words, that's all my heart could come up with

#sad #pain #lettinggo

Cold hits

Notepad Apr 27

Cold hits

how easy it was to walk away
turn quiet and never stay
so you think you're not to blame
and left my heart in vain
when your voice was my song
your smile that kept me moving on
but here I lay
thinking the ghost of you to stay
embracing my blue soul with a cold kiss
and tell me that we'll be okay

when my soul misses you, my eyes looking for you, that just means that I love you. I just don't know why my love passes through you and never touched your heart.

#depression

Crooked smile

Notepad Jul 2022

Crooked smile

I envy the smiles
I wanted to feel the same
I envy the laughs
But I felt nothing that way
Guess I'll have to play pretend

Dandelions

Notepad Sep 2020

Dandelions

I once remembered
I was filled with memories
then were blown away

I gaze from a distance,
Watching them go,
Twinkling as the stars,
I'm left alone

#dandelions #memories #poetry #fly #haiku #star

Deep End

Notepad Jul 2021

Deep End

I held my hands high,
feeling every heaven's tear,
heal my anguished heart,

It hurts but it's okay

#pain #despair

Desire

Notepad Oct 2020

Desire

Watch the stars
dance the night,
Close thy eyes
with tranquil mind,
take one breath
don't you regret,
make one wish
you'll never forget,

Happy Birthday

#greet #happybirthday #wish #desire #breath

Disappear

Notepad Aug 2021

Disappear

Time is all I have,
To forget me in your eyes,
Till there's nothing left,

"My oh my" - James Smith

#heartbroken #despair #forget

Draft

Notepad Nov 2022

Draft

The deafening noise
From the silence I hear
Scribble, scrabble

Still nothing appears

Magic ink

Drip

Notepad Sep 2020

Drip

When the words don't reach,
and Ink leaks between every line,
Making my words cry,

.
.
.

#sad #broken #poetry #haiku

Embers

Notepad Feb 2022

Embers

Don't ever forget
It's okay to disappear
You still have yourself
The wildfire that burns bright
The love that spreads like embers

Don't tell yourself different,
We all spark wonderfully

♡

Embrace

Notepad Dec 2021

Embrace

If you could feel it
breath for a moment
my arms around you
like sunset's embrace
let thy eyes be calmed
Inhale one more time
whisper my goodbye
till darkness arrives
Exhale butterflies

You were everything to me
till I became nothing

#heartbreak #embrace #fade

Empty

Notepad Feb 2023

Empty

Another wave
A moment to lose
A pain to embrace
What more could I do?

I wish, I hope, I pray and I mope
Maybe it was me, maybe it was you
Maybe we just couldn't speak the truth

We were more than we could share
How long does it take to tell a tale?
Maybe I'm not worthy, maybe asking is too much
Must be best to be less
Let words be left unsaid

Silence may not be my friend
But through time until the end
It's all I have left

My arms are cold

#alone

Encore

Notepad Sep 2020

Encore

Engulf me in love,
Break me in half,
Only once-more,
Only encore,

Lament time

#engulf #break #encore #again #pain #lament

Endless

Notepad Oct 2020

Endless

I've been here before,
day and night, forevermore.

Carved every memory,
through every wall.

Hoping you'd read them all.
Listen, if you please.

Through this dying heartbeat,
I yearn for peace.

I've been here before,
in a memory once more.

I've always have been
a ghost to my own thoughts,
haunting myself
in endless circles

... it happened again

#endless #pain #self #harm #memory

Ethereal

Notepad Mar 2022

Ethereal

A butterfly kiss
memories start to flutter
I miss how it feels

Butterfly memories ♡

Everyday

Notepad Jul 2023

Everyday

I wake up the same
laying on forgotten sea
thinking I was found

another day to be

Everything

Notepad Jan 2022

Everything

When I gave it all
To every single last breath
Knowing you have left

'Everything' is a choice

#sadness #depression #anxiety #heartache #goodbye

Felicity

Notepad May 2020

Felicity

Mesmerized by
painted skies
watching till the
moon arrives
stars twinkle
beneath my eyes
gravity takes
me high
plunge deep
in the clouds
disappearing into
night's crowd

It's an ocean up there

Firefly

Notepad Nov 2020

Firefly

There's hope in the dark,
Honey amber in the night,
Flickering like the stars,

Let there be light of the hole in your heart

#firefly #light #hope #poetry

Firefly

Notepad Nov 2022

Firefly

Mesmerizing light
Kept you in a safe new home
Yet light flickers cold
I have kept you far too long
So its time to let you go

Farewell my firefly

#tanka

Float

Notepad Feb 2023

Float

At any given time
I look through our past lives
The sweet and sour taste
When minutes were erased
The seconds we smile
And the hours were worthwhile
Floating through bliss
Now turns into an abyss
How hellos are hard to express
Goodbyes are maybe the best

Rusty pen

Forest

Notepad Jul 2020

Forest

I hear you hum,
from the crispy leaves
and mellow rivers,
the gentle breeze
and the arboreal creatures,
breathing the calm,
exhaling the fear,
listening to lush greens,
embracing the forest within

Nature's Symphony

#forest #nature #poetry #breath

Forgotten

Notepad Jan 18

Forgotten

I'm sure you loved me,
In the basement of your heart,
Where I rot alone,

#weep #broken

Full

Notepad Jul 2021

Full

half full
almost empty
porcelain cracks
beautifully dripping
slowly in time
seconds away
still full

of emptiness...

#anxiety #depression #empty #full

Glimpse

Notepad Jan 2023

Glimpse

bewitched in one thought
you gave me tranquility
with a glimpse of you
it would be enough to stay
to walk down memory lane

Thank you for loving me,
when you don't have to

#broken #memory

Halloween

Notepad Oct 2020

Halloween

Tangerine pumpkins on night's blood moon,
Candles lit in pitch black rooms,
set the skulls and silk webs,
trick and treat with madness, I dare
Shiver crawls on my pale skin,
Feeling the screams of Halloween dive in,

What haunts your soul?
.
.
Happy Halloween to All!

#halloween #poetry #october

Happier

Notepad Aug 2023

Happier

Our past can never be fixed
Amidst of a clobbered heart
Stitched each other's wings
Tangled up by strings
Bewitched in things
Till we both could sync
Our love never stops blooming
Even if hope was in doubt
But deep down
I know it
We were Happier

We don't feel the same anymore
But I wish you the happiest years forward than the time spent with me. I set you free even if my eyes were to tear. I'll be fine someday and one day will be free

Hopeless

Notepad Jan 19

Hopeless

I use to believe a promise was worth everything
That forever was something
That fighting for you was loyalty
That an embrace was home
And keeping each other warm
Showing every beat of my heart was true
And in my blood was no lie
That I truly did love you
And never second thought my care

But the absence of you
Made everything I did was nothing
Forcing a smile as I drown in pain
Watching hope evaporate
Till I no longer exist in your eyes
That my name will sound familiar
And friends was in no favor
So strangers was the answer

I know it's dumb but I feel *******...

Hope-less

Notepad Dec 2022

Hope-less

You say so much things
Barely made a difference
To us, more than you

...

#tanka #broken #hopeless

Horizon

Notepad Mar 2023

Horizon

Sometimes we're okay
The line that splits us in two
As the rest sinks down
The things we don't understand
And the world that doesn't care

Just a Bathtub moment. A common thought that sometimes feels new

Human

Notepad Jun 2023

Human

We all have a choice
Don't be ashamed
Just follow your heartbeat
Because I promise you
You'll be okay

The silence still buries me but one day it will become my favorite music

Humans

Notepad Jan 8

Humans

Bonded in spirit
Distance doesn't break our hearts
Than to be strangers (again)

Hate me if you must, but know matter where we are, you are no stranger to my heart. Forget me if you will, but memories last forever.

If only

Notepad Sep 2021

If only

If only you knew
My eyes would howl at the moon
Tears of crystal blue
That you were my only one
Before you fade in the light

#love #moon #tanka #miss #blue

If only...

Notepad Apr 12

If only...

If only you knew
What my mind would do to me
All the pain I hold inside of me
The things I pretended to be happy
So I wouldn't let you worry

If only I knew
how to fix myself
I'd be somebody else
Someone you'll remember
Someone you'll care for
But I need help
And all I have is myself

My big depression is back again for this autumn season

In the Dark

Notepad Jan 2022

In the Dark

Close your eyes
inhale the space
embrace the moment
in the dark
we fade

blue roof
empty sky
Onion eyes
music's embrace
it's okay

(Dans le noir by Charmine D'Avis)

#acceptance #breathe #night #quiet #tears

Jealous

Notepad Apr 2018

Jealous

Im jealous of the life of other people,
The smiles and laughter they take everyday,
The friends and family that's happy everyday,
And I'm just here watching my life fly away,

Im jealous of the love people share everyday,
The kissing, the hugging that romantic scenes I swear,
That love ain't always fair,
And I'm just here broken when no one cared,

Im jealous of the sky and sea,
That peaceful place i dreamed it would be,
Nothing but the sound of silence,
the freedom to set me free,
to fly with my feathered wings,
But I'm chained you see,
In a cage, clipped wings
Till death I bleed.

#sad #torn #jealous #life #love #freedom