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Femi Mar 23
You were odd
Child of balance, I was even.
You were exotic
Child of Venus, I was toxic.
You were bold,
I wanted to be brave but just came off cold.
You were beautiful,
I may have fell in love.
You never believed me,
Too much sensitive stuff.
Femi Jun 2014
love does
not always
but never
replace it with
Femi May 2014
painted smiles
Femi Jul 2014
why does living feel like dying?
and pleasure feel like crying?

why are we expected to be good,
when we are told we are bad?

why do they tell us to be happy,
when our souls are sad?

why do I hate them
and love them too?

Why can't life be a new rainbow?
instead of depressing old black and blue.
Femi Jan 2016
2015 left me with some good advice...

life is not nice
life is not fair
life does not care
life does not share
life does not love
life is a ***** and she's tough!!!

I just pray 2016 has mercy on me,*

because I've had *enough
Femi Apr 2014
I lay there
Tired, Drained
aloof and gone
I have not been touched
In so **** long

You stroke my head
As we lay close
In your bed
Not from a man
Nor my dad

kind gestures of my mother
Who seldom
shows her affection
but this loving touch I needed
her sweetest blessing
A mother's love is PRICEL$$
Femi May 2014
I sometimes fake.

always late.

hurt soul
her soul
he's pleased to take.

one of these
I won't awake.

if so...

my soul.
my soul.
please do take!

to heaven
to paradise
I hope to make.
Femi Feb 20
A bath a day
Washes the sin away.
I scrub the skin,
But can't reach within.
A pill a night
Numbs my desire to fight
Hours are loan sharks
That pack a bite.
Sun shines; body grows older
Moonlight; heart grows colder.
Femi May 2014
"life is every word
good and bad.
Misery trumps happiness.
Suffrage swallows glad,
because temporary pleasures
become infinitely sad."

Said those who lived once,
but forever died.
Inspired by a **** named Iceberg Slim
Femi Jun 2015
tear down my wall
boldly stand tall
give me confidence
because I feel so small.

tie back my hands
and gag my mouth
no screams, no shouts
tell me the things you think about.

build up my heart
break down my will
beat me until I'm still,
show me how love feels.
Femi May 2014
looking in the mirror
waiting for bruises to appear
asking myself
"How did I get here?"

never been the one
to afflict pain upon myself.

but I have caused to much harm
I am no longer a help
I too, may as well hurt.
Femi Sep 2015
From the sky
I gaze down
trying my best not to cry
I am finally free!
I can finally fly!

From the clouds
I can hear screams sung aloud
I glance down to see
a woman,
a man,
a child.

The woman is heartbroken
the man's shirt is full of sweat and blood,
it's filthy and soaking
the child has tears on his cheeks
confusion and pain slowly running.

I begin to die, as the child starts choking
I too, was in abusive relationship with a man named Life
the sun nor showers would stop him from beating his wife.

He loved me when it began
but he could never get past my affair with sin
then one day God heard my prayer and let me in.
To hell went my husband and boyfriend
I knew it was over.
This was the end.
Femi Aug 2015
Today I was called sick,
I did not get mad,
didn't even flinch.

For it was true.

I am a sinner,
devilish from many angels
I never pleaded to be an angel
just a damaged poet
and most know it.

I sometimes indulge in deviant behaviors
like ***, drugs, and Rihanna
I hope for Heaven and not hell
but I accept my wrong, your honor!

I am sick, this is true
but those who judge,
who the **** are you?
Femi Sep 2014
I desire innocently to be a fly on your wall
Femi Jun 2014
Have you ever met a person
More broken than a million pieces?

I have, she's my mother.
Whom I love a billion reasons.
Femi Jan 2014
Addicted to love;
The sweetest high
Strangers walk past
Kisses blown by
Some catch,
Most miss
Hopeless romantic
Sprung out
Cupid’s abyss
Femi Nov 2015
He loves me more than I care to admit,
He thinks I'm gold,
but sometimes I swear I'm a piece of sh*t.

He compliments, even when I'm undeserving,
he will not let up,
until my mouth begins curving.

He's opened my heart, soul, and mind
to what love once again can be,
he kills my sorrow and this makes me happy.
Femi May 2016
why did I grow up so fast?
to have responsibilities beat my ***.
why did I skip class?
to only cheat life and still come in last.
why did I rush my youth?
only my childhood knows the truth.
Femi Jun 2014
for a brief
a second of hope
a glimpse of happiness
life appears
simple, small, innocent,
& promising
like that of a child.
Then I grew up
and got lost
in it's
Femi Jan 2016
The cool bitter breeze
Rubs against my face
Head back, mouth open
I embrace the taste.

For somewhere in the world,
You are doing the same.
I close my eyes
To remember your name.

I recall the passion,
And regret the pain
You stole my tears, now I hate rain
Even still, you're not to blame.

Oh my Wicked flame
You let me burn
I'm not mad, because I had to learn
But now the tables have turned...and

Hell says you're wanted
*It's now your turn
Femi Apr 4
Maybe you were misunderstood,
I would have stayed if I could.
To listen, talk to, feel you out.
But intimacy is something I'm not sure about.
I considered you then, I think of you now.
Cold hearts feel love, don't ask me how.
Just wanted to say; I hope you're fine,
even if you will never be mine.
Femi Jul 2014
As time crept by

I      s  l  o w l y

Began to die
Femi Jul 2014
I became cold
stress aged me quickly
I didn't want to be old.

I became cold
promises turned to lies
truths were no longer told.

I became cold
which you mistook as shyness
my anger was too bold.

I became cold
because carrying the weight of the world
proved to be too heavy of a load!
Femi Aug 2015
my nostrils burn
with the scent of poison

poison that burns my lips
and my lungs...

I only want peace.
I only want fun.

I pray. I stretch...
all that inner peace mess,
still nothing.

Now my insides are burning,
burning from the smoke I inhale
cigarettes are a taste of hell.

I feel myself growing small
as my problems shrink into the
darkness of my pitiful soul,

drowning away s    l   o    w   l    y    by this alcohol.
Femi Mar 2016
like the sun
and the moon

I am gone to soon.

like the stars
and the sky

I am much to high.

Like the earth herself,
I am too unsteady.

I will soon die,
hope the universe is ready.
Femi May 2016
I can take a punch
an insult
a offense
but my life makes no sense.

I can handle heartbreak
but loneliness I can not take
7 billion humans on earth
and solitude is my fate.
Femi Oct 2015
my lovers left me
down and out
gave me something
to think about.
how it's not them,
but could it be me?
commitment is dangerous
and relationships are scary!
Femi Sep 2014
I always compromise when I’m lonely

In the beds of strangers,

hopeful that someone can love me.

Many see I'm broken beautifully.

Some think I’m art; crafted delicately.

Others say; dangerous, sad, and extreme!

but they'll willingly be that drug I so desperately need.
Femi Aug 2015
abandonment sleeps alone in my heart
but only a few inches away are we apart.

my heart beats sickly
it was ill from the very start.

with each breath it thumps
in my throat are lumps.

butterflies choke me as I try to speak
out the corner of my eye, I peek.

waiting for you to kiss me makes me want to hurl,
because I talk big, but I am still a shy little girl.

But bad boys, lust, and love,
are my only sins in this dark lonely world.
Femi Jul 2014
You saw me first.

I was flattered to know,
I had an admirer.

I was told, "you thought I was warm like sunshine"
I knew then I wanted you as mine.

My walk changed,
my smile opened,
and I wore a little more perfume.

Then on day 1, I lite up
after seeing you in the classroom.
Femi Jul 2014
There are women.
And there are girls.

Then there are ladies in between
Who feel the wrath of a *** crazy world; a place so mean.

Usually not the one to lose confidence,
We stood on our feet.

Our eyes met,
I had an urge to take my seat.

I immediately felt
Shorter and less attractive.

Standing next to you,
Amazingly beautiful Amazon Woman.
Femi Sep 2014
When it was a matter of need

nobody noticed me

eyes did not see

a childhood of misery.

Now adult, I seek to be free

possibily engage in immoral activity

afterall debauchery created me

now I'm sure they're all watching

when I don't want them to be.
Femi Apr 2014
rihanna and lana del rey
please don't become her
one day

dorothy dandridge
whitney houston
marilyn monroe
anna nicole

their sadness I did know
beautiful and broken
the pain never let go
the men, the drugs,
the heartache followed
they were all a living example:
misery is captivating
and beauty is shallow
Femi May 2014
the world is sick
people are ill
emotions are viruses
that every human feels
hate is real.
evil kills.
smiling is contagious
affection lives.
then, I awoke from my coma
and realized
LOVE can actually HEAL!
Femi Sep 2015
she will always be gone,
by your side, but alone.

she will always stray,
always searching for a better day.

she will always leave
so cherish her now please.

she will remember you the most,
love her now, or haunted will be her ghost.
Femi Mar 2015
right out the tub
fresh and clean
ready to be seen

pretty lonely girl
perfumed body
ready to get naughty

ready for love
ready for pain
ready for anybody

all dressed up
stain glass windows
with nowhere to go
Femi Nov 2014
I went looking for the devil
and found me.

I went looking for freedom
and found captivity.

I went looking for love
and found misery.

I stopped searching,
and found everything!
Femi Sep 2014
without inspiration

without admiration

without art

without love

with poetry
Femi Jun 2014
You can’t love me no more!

Doing me like a hateful chore.

I’m nobodies *****!

Sorry, but you are no longer welcomed.

I refuse to let you enter with ease,

And exit whenever you please!

Go now. Leave!
Femi Apr 2014
It leads men astray
Keeps them coming
Night and day

In the air
On the floor
Charm she masters
Suitors adorn

Lined against the wall
Eyes dark
Like her red gown
Roses as lips
Kissing them down

Dripping in gold
Power she holds
Trapped in her bedroom
seduced by her perfume
Femi Jun 2015
I've tried
tried, tried
and now
I'm tired.

my heart
is under attack
because no one
seems to love me back.

now I'm left with this
this youthful body
and this pretty sad face
in this empty place.

guess I'm left
to love myself
***** anyone else.
Femi Sep 2014
If poetry was a man

Id admit, im in love!
Femi May 2014
every time you leave me
I think I love you less

this neglect has caused me
devlopmental stress.

every time you stray
my heart screams please stay!

But you never listen
I never get my way.

anxiety makes me want to cry
fear of someone harming you

distrust proudly says hello
as you happily say goodbye.

at least you always come back
like you promise...

but one day, you'll lie
worse case scenario, you'll die.
Femi Sep 2015
reject me once
it was probably my fault.

reject me twice,
hold on,
something is not right.

reject me three/ times the charm
you'll regret it sugar.
I'll make you wish you were never born.
Femi Nov 2014
And the days have become long
Fast world
Fast talkers
A girl has become grown.

And the days have become long
Fragile body
Fragile mind
Soul has become strong.

And the days have become long
Need of a friend
Need of a savoir
Good people are gone.

And the days have become long
Please return brother
I’ve grown weary in doing right
This route called life has proven to be a turn wrong.
Femi Nov 2014
if the good die young,
why am I still here?

Maybe I am dead
just haven't accepted it,
must be fear.

if the good die young,
why do I feel old?
wrinkles in my face made of gold.

I was a queen before
a servant now,
life is one sick chore.
Femi Jun 2014
Bad for my health
Worse for my recovery
I beg you, never let go of me.

The hold of black smoke
Smothers me. I choke
Release me. Heart trapped.

I promise not to relapse.
Femi Jun 2014
I only wish to hug you
Like lips **** a cigarette
And inhale your scent
You’re the fire I desire
I need badly to be lite.

I want to smoke you
Until my lungs ache
Until my chest caves in
With toxins and sin
drugs **** me,
but gets me high
Loving a bad boy
Is my cancer
With him I live
For him I’ll die.
Femi Dec 2015
I've danced with the devil for far too long.
ive learned the lyrics to all his songs.
meanwhile my desire for good has gone.
and my debt to Jesus has grown.
How could I be so foolish?
Why must I be so wrong?
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