Days screaming  
Nights waiting
Smleling of strangers
Shaded glances
Queston's unanswered
Moons departure suns gleam awaken
wounds forgiven thoughts receding

Hes not that bad I say
On my knees again his friends laugh
Hes not that bad I say
He yells at me for a minor thing I did
Hes not that bad I say
When he calls me stupid
Hes not that bad I say
smaller portion for me he says I'm fat
Hes not that bad I say
When he raise a hand to me (I flinch)
Hes not that bad I say
Split lip cracked ribs
Hes not that bad I say
When hes calling other girls
Hes not that bad I say
When I leave and he says he loves me
Hes not that bad I say
I think I can fix him
Hes not that bad I say
No means no and he does it anyway
Hes not that bad I say
When he holds my hand my fingers are broken
Hes not that bad I say
When I've called the police again
(just a misunderstanding)
Hes not that bad I say
When his hands leave my throat
Hes not that bad I say
I get flowers and I rasp I love them
Hes not that bad I say
When I pull the trigger

Good morning I say
To the closet door
I knock three times

A look into the void as it opens
I look at the shapes of clothing I'll never wear

Discusted
I Look at my reflection on the doors mirror

Prodding at poking at my insecurity
I close the door
I go to bed
Ill try again tommrow.

I invited you
You invited yours
Yours invited family

This wasnt a hookup
This wasnt a double date

I just closed my eyes
I just held my breath

Untill you finished

Good morning, I hope your well.
Haven't talked to you in a while.
Saw your mom she looks sad I gave her a hug and we cried for a long while. It felt good.

Are you in a diffrent body and when random people smile at me or are nice to me, is that you?

When I see a stranger and i feel like i know that person  thats impossible unless it's you...
! Next time maybe hold a purple bandana then I'll known its you for sure.

I miss our long talks so much has happend over the years and I dont think anyone will fill your place.

I wanted to **** myself the  other day, held my breath underwater till it hurt

I named a scar after you not a healthy reaction I know, but the cuts deep and didnt bleed. It's tough like you.

Good morning. Hope you're doing fine.

Went to sleep because I was stupid enough with a stranger  I was afraid I wouldent be able to find you.
Then I thought maybe I'd find someone who is lost like me and they knew you and you are fine.

I'm still afraid of birds but a crow near my house gets close to me and seems kind and will make weird noises at me some times I feed it and talk to it like it's you.

Sad music makes me feel better.
Were you the same?

Mother said I cannot marry a girl would you have married me?

Good night.. talk to you again.