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Oct 2019 · 53
Pep Oct 2019
It felt so good to let all my emotions out
It flowed away from my body the way a river flowed,
My memories went down the river
Never really disappearing,
But hopefully phasing out slowly.
The river didn’t flow fast
But the anger hidden in the rest of my emotions did
The flashbacks from the memories were still there
Little flashbacks that came down the river,
Waiting to be pulled out
Waiting for something to trigger it.
It was like PTSD
I couldn’t get away from it
You can purchase my book BROKE ******* Amazon
Oct 2019 · 66
Yellow Man
Pep Oct 2019
The yellow man liked to procrastinate,
He'd wait for hours until he'd beat it
Feeling bad for what he had done once he's won.
The yellow man vows to never procrastinate again
But he ends up doing it again and again
And there's no way for him to abstain
He's stuck in his brain,
Because the thrill will never leave him.
You can purchase my book BROKE ******* Amazon
Sep 2019 · 68
Pep Sep 2019
It takes only a small while to lose a moment
Or create one.
A minute or few,
A second
A breath
Is all it takes to lose that moment.
To lose everything you worked for
That kiss, that stare, that talk
It should have meant something because you had a moment there.
For a moment,
You connected.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Aug 2019 · 493
Pep Aug 2019
You were the first person I ever felt something for.
I felt happy,
Felt loved,
Well almost.
But by the end I figured out that you could never love me,
And no one else can.
You ruined me for anyone else,
You ruined my trust,
Burned up my chest,
And now my heart hurts.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Aug 2019 · 127
Pep Aug 2019
My memories take over my mind.
They torture me like depression,
Eating me alive.
Why can't I get away from these memories?
Why can't I just let it slide?
Why can't I stop the flashbacks?
Flashbacks that keep eating me alive.
I want it all to disappear inside a box
A box that I will never open again,
And maybe then I'll finally win.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Jun 2019 · 142
Pep Jun 2019
It's never gone anywhere,
In fact it's everywhere.
Deep down,
If you look hard enough,
It lingers inside her head,
The feeling of rejection.
She's consumed with so much dread
That it follows her like the color red
She tries to hide it,
Not wanting anyone to come near.
She may not want you here,
You're her greatest fear.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
May 2019 · 62
Pep May 2019
She said I love you
But that was only once
She never said it to me again
And so I never experienced love again
I didn't know what it was anymore
Her love became invisible at all angles
She needed to hurt me to show how much she cared
Her love became something to keep me in line
She began to control me
The light dulled continually in my eyes
Tension crawled all over my body
The bags under my eyes got deeper
They turned darker as my eyes swelled up
Eyes that couldn't open since she kept me black and blue
Saying I would never change
Telling me that I'm no good
Saying I'll never be like you
But truth be told,
I never wanted to be you
In fact, I want nothing to do with you.
Love is not abuse
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Apr 2019 · 1.3k
Pep Apr 2019
It's okay really it is,
Or maybe it isn't.
As you point out all my flaws especially in my **** face.
You pull at my cheeks and my chubby chin,
I really just hate it.
I don't care if you say that my chubby cheeks are cute,
Because it's not,
They're ugly.
And what gives you the right to point out my **** acne to me every single day.
Should I point out your bad skin?
And how it looks freakish in certain areas.
Don't even think about judging me on the way I eat.
Take a good look at your own self,
Cause I sure as hell know all my insecurities.
Do you even know yours?
Or do you want me to point them out for you every single day like you do mines?
Be careful about what you say on regards to my own body,
Because remember I've seen yours too.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Feb 2019 · 118
Pep Feb 2019
Lust is insanity
Lust is emptiness
Passion will come into the mix
But all it does is cause pain
Lust will make you lose your sanity
It will trap you.
Lust is filled with broken hearts,
Cigarette butts, alcoholic drinks,
Drugs we wished we could've taken
And pills we wanted to overdose on
In certain moments it makes you smile,
Have a voice,
Have rhythm,
And sensual movements.
It is a type of art,
That thing we call lust
It is love.
Lust is that taste on your tongue
The taste you wish would never disappear
Lust will bring you to your knees
Lust is you.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Jan 2019 · 1.7k
Pep Jan 2019
Writing about her was like ***
She made me do things for her
I did it for her love,
Did it for the money, her friends
She stole my virginity in my poems.
When I wrote about her,
I wrote so carefully,
It was as if I was caressing her
She gave life to me
I thought she was my soulmate
She destroyed my misery
Even threatened to **** me if I didn't stop
But she was only momentary
And I kept my virginity
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 58
Pep Sep 2018
50 pills of aspirin are in that bottle.
That bottle which will
Give you the floaty feeling.
Falling into a deep slumber.
You don't want to wake up.
You can jump since you don't care right now.
You thought:
Who the hell would really care if I died?
Would they care if I never woke up?
I know I wouldn't care
Since I don't fear death-since I
Apparently already let myself go.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 115
Drunk Thoughts
Pep Sep 2018
To improve her image,
She stared into her liquor,
Then looked into her reflection,
And became disappointed.

She didn't lose any pounds,
She was bound
Hounded down by these heavy pounds.
Her reflection mocked her,
Her self-esteem blocked her,
The public teased her,
And still, she was not pleased.

As she looked in the mirror,
She thought: Could I get any bigger?
Her tears represented her fears
The fear of being fat again
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 56
Watch Me
Pep Sep 2018
You're like a clock
You time my every move
Suffocating my lungs
Blocking up my airways
My breath is your breath
It's never released until you see it
And it never ends because,
I know you'll keep watching me.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 47
Pep Sep 2018
Sometimes I'm just tired of the ******* you cause...
The loneliness, yet you're still here.
How much your words hurt me?
Just the other day
You said:
I'm ugly.
Did you ever notice,
That when you're told something so much,
You start to believe it.
You Hurt
Now thinks that
She's ugly since her
Family and friends keep calling her that.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 108
Her Forest
Pep Sep 2018
You beautiful people with high cheek bones.
You want to be them.
Thigh gap,
Jutting hipbones,
Sharp jaw,
Skinny nose,
Thin face,
Thin... everywhere.
You start dieting,
You get skinnier until you start school.
Your goal plummets,
Then the cycle starts over again until you get a little lazy.
So now you're taking a break.
Not good enough, you've got to be skinnier.
Your body is fat,
You need to try harder.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 112
Pep Sep 2018
This is not true love
She didn't deserve this
She let people use her
Put alcohol above all
Used drugs as a ****** escape
That fake love created hate
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 50
Pep Sep 2018
There has been a disturbance in my mind,
And I don't know how to fix it.
Matter of fact, there is a disturbance in my mind
Right now.
It won't go away.
Voices speak to me in yes or no kind of questions.
School starts and then they go away,
Only to come back when I'm alone again.
With no friends around, because the mind is...
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 55
Thigh Gap
Pep Sep 2018
I told my brother,
I was fat.
He denied it,
Said I was skinny enough, said my thighs were fine.
I didn't believe it.
Thighs that move when I... walk.
As I look in the mirror,
It tells me what is on the wall.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 23
Pep Sep 2018
It eats you alive.
I've got it,
Some people in my family got it,
My best friend got it.
It's everywhere.
We or society causes it,
We're horrible.
Do we really love ourselves?
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 28
Pep Sep 2018
I got prayer from my church the other day,
Felt slightly good for about a week,
Then the thoughts started again.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 25
Pep Sep 2018
Someone asked me if I wanted to die.
I was scared to tell the truth.
So I said no.
But in my head I said yes.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 24
Pep Sep 2018
Why can't I keep my mouth shut at the moments when I should?
My chest hurts & I'm heaving.
I'm so annoyed.
Others know how to be silent.
But how do I do it?
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 28
Pep Sep 2018
I hate being alone.
I come home from school,
The house is empty,
And now I'm all alone.
So I take off all my clothes,
Lay down on my soft bed.
Then I sadly welcome the black hole
In the middle of my chest...
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 871
Pep Sep 2018
Feeling my... collarbones
To remind me that I'm still
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 151
Pep Sep 2018
The hurt will never go away,
At least that's what it feels like.
Not until she actually thinks she looks presentable.
She doesn't know what's wrong,
She just wants people to look at her and call her pretty for once.
But that just makes it worse.
She just wants to leave and not come back.
Gone like the pills down her throat,
Being swallowed and digested into nothingness,
Putting her into a deep sleep.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 112
What I See
Pep Sep 2018
I thought I saw a double chin.
Well I do have one, but I also saw a **** chin.
You know what I'm talking about, those ugly kind of chins.
Lose the weight quickly,
Lose until I can feel all of my bones.
Until I'm ******* satisfied.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Sep 2018 · 149
Cold Ice
Pep Sep 2018
You said that word to me again,
Told me that my face was fat.
Fat. Words that came out cold.
I used that bronzer,
To bring out my cheekbones,
It failed.
My cheeks stayed still,
Like ice, it's frozen.
You can purchase my book CONTROVERSY @ Books2Read
Mar 2017 · 919
Pep Mar 2017
When you pushed me away I really felt it.

I felt like I couldn't breathe.

You were nice to everyone else but me.

I couldn't understand!

How could you be mad at me for being myself?

I'm asexual and aromantic.

You're ****** and romantic.

How can we be together?

Easy, we just weren't
You can purchase my book at:

Barnes & Noble
Mar 2017 · 1.1k
Pep Mar 2017
I'm not only asexual, but I’m also aromantic.

I don't do romance, but yet here I am with you.

You were angry at me for not being affectionate enough.

You said I barely gave you any attention.

I hated giving people my attention so much.

It was exhausting to me.

You said I was the worst girlfriend ever.

I tried to brush it off, and make it seem like I didn't care.

But inside I really did.

You hurt me,

Even more when I forced myself to be affectionate towards you and you just pushed me away.

I started to hate you.
You can purchase my book at:

Barnes & Noble
Aug 2016 · 306
Pep Aug 2016
Someone told me that you weren't good enough for me, and they told me that you'd use me.

Too bad I didn't listen.

Everything to you was fake, while everything to me was real.

You sent me flying, so hard that it took me months to get back up.

Whenever I see you I just want to disappear.

Or better yet, I want you to just vanish from my mind & existence.

You can purchase my book at:

Barnes & Noble
Aug 2016 · 371
Pep Aug 2016
How does one stay with someone for so long that they cause them to cry?
That's what you did to me, you made me cry twice, and almost once more.
But I wouldn't give you that satisfaction.
I didn't love you, I just tolerated you, cared too deeply for you, and let you and control me.
I'm not the type of person who usually does this.
Letting myself fall into a relationship with you, what a complete idiot!
I should have ignored your advances towards me, but I simply couldn't.
My desire for you was too strong.
And no, I'm not sexually attracted to you, but I did think that you were adorable.
Now your face makes me cringe, its makes me want to erase your image from my mind forever.

You can purchase my book at:

Barnes & Noble
Jul 2016 · 472
Ante ¹⁰
Pep Jul 2016
I want us to play in my bed all night long.
Of course you know where I live, you stalk me.
Most stalkers don’t get what they desire, so you should be happy.
You searched my mouth, and attacked my tongue with raw passion.
I almost came right there on the dance floor.
I'm a naughty girl, but maybe you could change that.
I want you to rob me of my virtue.
You bit my lip and I gasped as my hands were itching to touch that tight *** of yours.
I want you so bad.
I ask you:
Can we leave?
You nod at me with a smirk that only people like me and you could define.
before she left him
10. Taste
Jul 2016 · 339
Ante ⁹
Pep Jul 2016
Your kisses were like a dark spell.
Yes, that is exactly what you possessed, dark magic.
You're definitely dangerous to my heart.
You have lured me into one of your traps.
You wouldn’t let me stop kissing you.
You always pulled me back in.
before she left him
9. Of Your Lips
Jul 2016 · 382
Ante ⁸
Pep Jul 2016
You approached me like a good boy.
I wondered if you had the same wet ***** thoughts I had about you, especially with that body of yours.
Do you want to feel me.
My body is pure, but my mind is definitely not.
I smirked at you, and you grinned at me.
But it was no innocent grin.
You asked for a dance.
I wanted to rub my body on you, but I didn’t since you pulled me closer.
You whispered seductively in my ear:
I know you know about me stalking you, mi amor.
I remember then, I suddenly grabbed your face and stared at those lips as you did mine.
I took the first move, the lead, and I smashed my lips upon yours.

The kiss first started off heated, but then turned into one of urgency.
before she left him
8. The Knowing
Jul 2016 · 4.2k
Ante ⁷
Pep Jul 2016
I don’t love you, that’s for sure.
I want you, but for now all I feel for you is lust.
Don’t say you love me tonight, because then I won't be so naïve.
I'll walk away like a one night stand if you dare to confess your love for me.
We stared at each other, and for a second I wondered if I should get up.
But I would never do that.
Right now I wanted you to be the lead.

You dominate while I submit baby.
before she left him
7. Come Down
Jul 2016 · 751
Ante ⁶
Pep Jul 2016
The wine is making me fuzzy and possibly bold.
You took control and gained that advantage.
My mind is clouded while my belly is warm, and I kind of want you in it.
So I made a bold move, I turn in my seat, looked past the dance floor just to see you.
The wine has given me confidence to stare into your dark hazel eyes.
Your eyes are clouded with admiration, lust, and what else might that be?
before she left him
6. Showdown
Jul 2016 · 1.2k
Ante ⁵
Pep Jul 2016
I don’t remember how many cups of red wine I took in.
It's like a fruit, deliciously exploring my mouth and throat.
It made me cool for only a second, but my belly is warm with need.
A need  for you to explore my mouth with that tongue of yours.
Is your tongue long, warm, or cool?
I wonder if your tongue would fight mine for dominance.
I want your sloppy kiss, your aggressive kiss, your sweet kiss, but I really want your possessive kiss.
Dominate and claim me with that kiss.
Can you even kiss?

I don’t know, but I would really like to find out.
before she left him
5. La Loba
Jul 2016 · 453
Ante ⁴
Pep Jul 2016
I don’t even know you and your making me feel this way.
I want you like a soul mate, a beloved.
I'm so naïve, I should smack myself.
You're a possible stranger danger, but I want you so much that I don’t even care anymore.
before she left him
4. Ojos
Jul 2016 · 924
Ante ³
Pep Jul 2016
I avoided you like a mouse does to a cat.
I tried to possibly block you out.
But your gaze turned me into a hot liquid, and somehow I really liked it.
It was so hot, I felt like I wanted you to dominate me.
Rub your body up on me real good, because I need you close to me, I need you real close.
I was frequently blushing from your bold stares.
I squirmed under that gaze.
You were my ultimate torture.
But I would not approach you.
You don’t need to know that I know about you watching me.

So I didn’t look your way.
before she left him
3. Devil's Cup
Jun 2016 · 424
Ante ²
Pep Jun 2016
You're watching me but it doesn’t scare me.
But you approaching my big sister did.
Before you I was never attracted to anyone.
But yet I found your stalking cute and not disgusting.
Oh how naïve I was.
I thought about your hands running down my caramel skin.
That black tie of yours, strictly for business, I want to feel it against my skin.
You contacted my sister, you charmed her I guess, because for some reason she wants me to like you.
But I already do.
before she left him
Jun 2016 · 797
Ante ¹
Pep Jun 2016
When I first knew you, I noticed that you stalked me.
But I admired your stalking, because it showed that you actually liked me.
Someone took time out of their day to watch me.
I don't want you to notice my loneliness, because if you do then you might take me, possess me in ways I really do not want.
I wouldn’t say that you were love at first sight, but you're attractive.
I wondered how many girls you stalked a day.
You really enjoyed watching me as if you wanted to steal me.
Even your envy was very toxic.
before she left him
1. The First Sight

— The End —