The other day
I happened to see a friend
who had passed away.
It was not until I saw him
had I realized,
I no longer cared for him.
I had been busy living
and after all these years
he was still the same.
How does one explain
to a dead friend
that people change?

The houses are haunted
By white night-gowns.
None are green,
Or purple with green rings,
Or green with yellow rings,
Or yellow with blue rings.
None of them are strange,
With socks of lace
And beaded ceintures.
People are not going
To dream of baboons and periwinkles.
Only, here and there, an old sailor,
Drunk and asleep in his boots,
Catches tigers
In red weather.

not mine, it is hers
and she is gone now.

She took me in
I took care of her and she taught
me how to love unconditionally.

Now in her chair I sit sad and uncomfortable.
Around me surrounds a heavy air.
A memory of our last saying,
I love you.

I made a promise to her, on her dying day,
to take care of RJ and Wally ,
Miss kitty, Mandy, Trouble, Blinky, Inky, Nod,
and two more grey kittys.

I will try, Marge. With all my heart.

I know they miss you.

But, not half as much as I do.

Just as quite as a pin drop
You can hear my heart beat
As you near me.

My mouth gets very dry
As I try to speak to you

But it's dusted with love
And it's full of heat.

Heated with passion
From your beauty

With beauty of love
With love and kindness

Your sensuous eyes
Your sensuous lips
Your sensuous ways
Is what drives me crazy

My love for you is so extreme
I would give up my life
To fulfill my dreams

This is what she looks like when she's sad:
The human condition effective immediately.
Winter shades shift side to side,
exploding out of each iris.
Skin falling off,
when lunging forward to kiss me.
Fingernail daggers dig into my pores.
I'll bleed under her fingernails,
if she'll drag them down my torso
until her knees click the floor.

This is her tongue inside of my mouth:
We taste each other before we waste each other.
Hip bones parallel and our eyes rubbing shoulders,
my hands surfing her rib cage
and it's all the rage because she moans.
And when she moans,
color tones orbit around her head.
Planetary tumors dancing around her skull;
jump roping with her hair,
eating morals and removing plurals.

Those are her lips around me.
Her head moves up and down
but her eyes focus on me.
She makes eye contact
and I empty my dreams
into her mouth.

We are a public forum.
I ache with alcohol poisoning
and liberal undertones.
The terrain that is my face
bleeds oils that would lubricate
the axle of the car that she drove
into the tree
that we carved our name into.

Come back to me.
I miss you so much.
I watched you die.
I watched you die
and there was nothing I could do.

They told me that she wouldn't make it.
They told me that she might make it.
My hand gripped at blood stained blanket.
I think she said my name under the air mask.
I could tell if she saw me;
her eyes rolled back into her head
after she gazed a thousand yards away
into the field of black
that sheltered the tall grass
that we would chase each other through
and get lost in
as we got lost in each other.

I love you! I ******* love you!
My back, a membrane coil
that rises my stiff neck
that cares my head full of memories.
I turn on the light and you're not there next to me.
I put my hand on your copy of The Thornbirds
and know that you've read it more than the notes
I leave in your inbox,
hoping that it'll say that you have seen it.

Walking to your grave,
I am a darkness that the abyss has swallowed
and I have followed myself into nothingness
that is such bliss
that I forget
your kiss.

I've been holding on to your thirst,
while my mouth is dry with hurt.

I would travel the endless desert sands
To one day make a angry stance.

As you push my emotions, through my heart.
The feelings that I get , wish you for dead.

With dreams of you, drowning in my hate
With no one to save you, from the pool of hurt.

As you drown in your own self pity.
I will never again give you my life.

On top of a stained mattress
There is no love,
just oxycodone-loading-
and memories, "Tender, please"-
take ten of these-don't fake a dose
because I am close.
I am close.
I am close to you.

I feel okay, I feel okay
Well, I don't know-I don't show.
"Wait, don't go."
I feel okay, I feel okay

We don't show, no.
"Wait, don't go."
There are only memories
of when we were young guns.
We are too true-
take your oxycodone-
and it's terrifying.

On top of a star,
"You'll go far."
I love you enough to go to L.A.-
I feel okay, I feel okay-
Take your oxycodone
to get through the day.
And kiss me goodbye
before you try
to swim through the stratosphere,
my dear-it's clear.
It's near.

"Wait, I want to say-
before I slow motion
this emotion
that starts with a commotion
in my chest-
that I love you best
and it hurts to let go,
but it's not because of you.
I didn't know.
I didn't know what to do.

And it's true,
and that's what makes it terrifying.
My world is salt,
my sluggish love.
So, take your oxycodone,
because you don't want to feel what I feel.
And you don't want to reel like I reel."

I feel okay, I feel okay
Well, I don't know-I don't show.
"Wait, don't go."
I feel okay, I feel okay

We don't show, no.
"Wait, don't go."
There are only memories
of when we were young guns.
We are too true-
take your oxycodone-
and it's terrifying.

Pale body, blue eyes
Dark haired WASP;
adopted.
Cigarette burns
Cigarette breath
Black nail polish;
worn like her gaze.
Plump lips;
Tastes like
*******
and
"he left."

Milk body, brown eyes
Blond haired voice;
accent consumes.
Diseased brain
***** like a parasite
Blood-shot red nails;
scratching at life's surface.
Chapped lips;
Chews on them
like a blown tire
dying between metal
and the road.

Our bodies shifted in and out
like an ameba.
Suffocated by lost teenage years
and daddy issues.
Riding my knee.
On my face.
I want to disappear
into outer space.

Skeleton ***;
our corpses mix.
Sweat stained smiles.
Soap smothered tiles.
Showering with two souls
as lost as mine.