I wanted to die
I got up every day
wishing it would be my last
hoping day after day
that my time would
the words I didn't say
stayed there and threatened
to suffocate me
maybe that would be the reason
or the reason I try
and stay alive.
may 14th 2020
All this air around me and I still feel suffocated
and this is nowhere near what I have calculated
they ask me "What's wrong?" and I tell them you wouldn't understand because it's too complicated
this is why I'm always so isolated
do you know how long I've waited?
I never wanted to be the person she created
they look at me not at all fascinated
and I'm sure if I leave
they would feel the need to celebrate it
they tell me all these feelings that I am having
are just "too overstated"
and that actually makes me feel irritated
and not at all motivated
just makes me feel... suffocated
The lies that I hear every day makes my ears bleed
I'm sorry but that's not what I need
It didn't sound like a lie as it seemed
They lied to me like they were in need
Like they had to pay some deed
That's what I always received
They're delivered, are you pleased?
You can continue with the lies and proceed
But you'll never get what you want and that's guaranteed
20th November 2017
Her hands are always so cold
when she touches someone they would flinch and it showed
it´s not her problem she´s always exposed
to the air that the day would hold
are her hands cold?
or is it her heart?
what's it called?
"cold hands, warm heart"?
I think she's that kind of art
the kind where she doesn't show feelings
inwardly always revealing
huh, I guess that is what it's called
does it make this, the truth untold?
put me out,
out of my misery
I wouldn't mind the feeling
that comes with it
how much it'll hurt
how much tears I'll shed
how much I'll bleed
I just want it to be over
so please, put me out
out of my misery
does anyone notice that I'm sad?
does anyone notice that I'm going mad?
does anyone notice that it's that bad?
you'll never know where I stand
this is not what I had planned
— The End —