Go head make your move
All the parts are in place
I will not bow
I will not break
You can go for one's I love
But my heart
Is to cold to break
My death will bring me joy
For you can not toy
with me anymore

My heart doesn't beat.
It slams against my ribcage.
I picture my heart exploding
in my chest, nothing but
blood and shrapnel. Sweat
washes over me like a salty ocean wave
and if my heart doesn't explode first,
surely I will drown.
I try to swallow oxygen but
I choke on it! I try to drink water but
I choke on it! I can't breathe!
I can't breathe! I can't remember how
to be a human anymore.

It is your doing, April.
Your clarity pulls me
to the fields
where grass is wet-
my eyes fix on
pulsing of color in flowers
blooming.
It is April's doing.

The rustle of sheets
the pacing of feet
and the lights outside flicker
in the dark street
that is covered in sleet
the house is losing heat
shiver under blankets
to gain warmth is a feat
when the big hand meets
the little hand, there are seats
that are inanimate and cold
anxiety ain't sweet
anxiety ain't sweet
anxiety ain't sweet

Anxiety
Controlling my everyday life
Anxiety
Taking my heart and throwing it against the wall
Anxiety
Wrapping around in my head to consume my thoughts
Anxiety
Crying and screaming against my throat
Anxiety
Crashing and thrashing its way into my body making me shudder
When theres a knock at the door
Anxiety
Lighting fires to my insides
Anxiety
Making my hands shake so someone will notice im unbalanced
Anxiety