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 Oct 2018 Ash Young
She Writes
**** doesn’t always hide
At parties and outside clubs
**** doesn’t always hide
In dark alleys and empty parking lots
Sometimes it is right in front of you
But you choose to look the other way
**** doesn’t always hide
Behind the faces of strangers in the night
Sometimes it is hiding behind the closed doors
Of your uncles
Cousins
Fathers
And brothers
**** isn’t always loud-
Screaming, yelling, and crying
Sometimes **** is quiet-
Gasping for air and silent tears
 Oct 2018 Ash Young
Black Leaf
Tired
 Oct 2018 Ash Young
Black Leaf
I'm tired.
Tired of everything.
I just want to sleep,
And never wake up again.

No, I'm not lazy,
I'm not running away from life.
I'm just tired of the world and myself,
And too tired to change anything.
why am i so unlikeable
why is everything i do a mistake
why do i feel so alone
why can't i be happy
why am i feeling sorry for myself
why can't i
why am i
why didn't i
why don't i
why won't i
why
why
why.

why do i continue to live this life.

- a.g.
questions i ask myself
When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Under a spotlight where everyone knew my name...
I was five.

Now, I want shadows and to be as far away as possible.
Hidden and far from consequence,
And even further from myself.
Where my name is not a name,
But just another word without any true meaning.

When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Now, I want to disappear.

I should have jumped overboard when I had the chance.
When I was five,
my mother told me I was loved.
Years later, she asked me to leave because
I was the reminder of the gruesome past that haunted her.

When I was ten,
my father told me he believed in me.
Years later, he refused to accompany me because
I was an embarrassment to him in front of the society.

When I was fifteen,
my friends told me I was funny.
Years later, they all laughed at me because
I was the gullible teenager who fell for their flawless façade.

When I was twenty,
this guy said I was beautiful.
Years later, he trashed me, tormented me because
I was ignorant enough to overlook my inevitable flaws.

So, sorry for not believing in you,
for questioning your intentions, inclusively, in-depth
when you told me you loved me because
I didn’t want to wind up years later,
learning it the hard way that people often don’t mean what they say.
"Pistanthrophobia is just not everyone's cup of tea."
 Oct 2018 Ash Young
naught
why push a person away?
when that person was there,
when you're at your lowest.
and beg someone to stay,
when they're the reason why you're in pain?
then tell yourself you're all alone,
when that person was there all along.
 Oct 2018 Ash Young
Lhb
101
 Oct 2018 Ash Young
Lhb
101
‪the trick is knowing
when to engage with a thought
and
when
to
step
back‬‬‬‬‬
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