There's an illusion in vacations
You buy a holiday bundle to endless beaches
Expecting to melt into a puddle
From the wet sun, from the softest massages, from the savoury delicacies
Yet I find myself melted
The same numbing beat
Disguised as lofi background
The same screeching shrieks
Of strangers in the sun
The lack in detail as I see the same view
Everyday, the same restaurant every meal
A sameness away from home

In the sand a million footsteps form
In a uniform path from the sleepy gazebos to the ocean
The ocean stretching far and away
The horizon hiding the destination of the sun
No footsteps can lead me towards where I long
Stuck in a routine I cannot call my own

I sit in complete silence for a moment
Not of the world but to myself
My glasses closed up on a table
Looking up to a world of blurry

Lights that are still and moving
Lights that are as bright as the stars
Eye of the day, eyeing me down
Metropolis of eyeing lights

I should feel a familiar feeling
A welcome home to the old and known
A welcome to a world I've bid farewell
From which I've turned and taken my leave

I am trapped by skyscraping bars
I am scrutinized like a labrat
Harsh and cold white billboard lights
The microscopic bend of mall mirrors

The overbearing heat of the sun
Oppressive heat, foot on my back
I lie exposed to the elements
A sun kept alive by artificiality

it is high noon
and white sunlight blazes the sky
the air becoming a wall of heat
it is a miracle anything survives

at the bottom of the sky,
long blades of grass climb upwards
rustling with movement
veiling all life in shadows

mother cat is promenading
striding with babies in her belly
they push against their mother
her stomach expanding gently like a rock

somewhere beneath the canopy
a shifty dragon lies
his snarling tongue is sniffing for something alive
slowly crawling towards a dent in the grass

a newly born litter of kittens
their mother still wandering for shade
their life snuffed out before they’ve opened their eyes
do they feel the sun kiss their sleeping heads goodnight?

neon pink across my face
the blurry blacks of dance
a prize of beauty to be blessed

on the dancefloor acting
a girl's not just a girl
she's the light of the night

and tuneless swayings
swell of mightiest feelings
a dance is hers to be given

Did she emerge from the
foam of the crystal ocean
baring skin of apricots and lust?
enveloped in peach silk waves from her
breast unto her hip?
gracing wafts of wrist to
tunes of siren’s harps on the mountains?
picking eyes of men like berries from bushes?

No.

The maiden did not stall the stage
to occupy the audience.

She did form herself out of the
wreck she had lived in.
the hardest of smiles carried in her eyes
to reassure her mind.
danced amongst flowers of healing that
whispered the secrets of being.
planted fresh air and blankets to
all that she loved for.

Twas blue, it seemed
My life would be
In routine peace
And tranquil teal

Yellow I find
A most wanted mind
Bathing in life
Golden through time

Green is the mass
Of all I can ask
The way to bypass
The grass of the lax

I am an expert at crushes;

From the age of when I could walk
To the latest of my blinks
I have had a crush

I admire from afar
If they approach me
I melt

Once a guy liked me back
And I was ecstatic
But it ended in storms

See, I couldn’t reciprocate
Even if my heart
Wanted to

I’m scared I cannot love
Or haven’t love to give
I’m scared I cannot voice
My loveliest feelings

On the fourth day of April
19:02
You broke my heart

I remember the sun setting
Behind your back
When you walked towards me

And the moon above
Your head
When you left

I think it rained at
19:03
Just as I closed the door

The stars of April
Shone into my heart
But left bullet holes

Today someone said the word
“Swing”
And it brought me back to a distinct
Flavour
Neither bitter nor sour, but
Sweet
Like the cookies, you baked.

Every time I visited I wanted to
Help
Bake the neatest of cookies and
Play
Afterwards in the playground by your now
Old home
You no longer live there but I remember

Every childhood beath I drew
Exist
In that home, nesting in the door
Frames
Measuring my height and the brick wall where we used to
Hide
During those summer nights

I return once again
To my trusty pen
To pent out the storms
That brew deep within

But this time I find
I haven’t a rhyme
To execute my words
And represent my mind

So now there’s a worry
And some need to hurry
To prove that I feel
But feelings are blurry

Instead, I panic
My writing’s quite manic
Forgetting the real world
And all that’s pragmatic

Artificial hinderance
To prevent the ignorance
Is something i brew
My mind is carnivorous

The whole essence of songs
Are the engravings of notes on time
So why is it that i
Draw lopsided eyes
When 60 years ago
Come blasting through to ears anew

I love the hollow echoes
Of studio feedback in records

Indoor
Outdoor
By door
You see more
Than the spring drizzle
That cleans your lawn
That lets the scents out of your yard.
You see an opening
Through the drops
That lets you escape the drapes
To April

Open up the morning blinds
To see tomorrow drown tonight
One more day and out to flight

The coats hanging up
The clothes on the rack
With designated countries

Worn to be sure
That every eye sees anew
Local being not foreign

I am walking with my eyes closed
in my hand, I am carrying a lampost
I can hear
I can't see
who you are
who you've been
I need some confirmation from you

You try so hard to speak but
I'm afraid, what you stole where my words
is this true
is that wrong
can I breathe
in a song
I need some confirmation from you

I open my arms too far
in the cold, I get sick and bear scars
this is it
this is pain
I am real
I'm to blame
I need some confirmation from you

My new shoes
Lean into the concrete
Lines and drags
Out mud from frowns

I smear this ink
Into walls as paint
And I breathe their
Smoke alive

This stain on
My cheek will remain in
Chic for life
Just like

She said
Don’t tease
I rummaged out
A knife and choked

This newfound guilt
This group parade of filth
I drowned in
One second ago

Oh mother
oh, mother
tonight I saw
another close brother
**** his second first born

Oh mother
oh, mother
the hangman show
came rolling into my town
on a carpet of folds

They took off his shoes
they kneeled him on ground
then they aimed the bullet
'tween the temple of his eyes

Oh mother
oh, mother
my closest friend
turned rapid at sundown
and I struck her head

We'd walk past the flowers
and she breathed in the breeze
but she also breathes fresh air
that poisoned her dreams

I'm scared
I'm scared
my old white sheets
you gifted it to me
but now it just bleeds

Oh mother
oh, mother
I know you're here
I know you just bit me
but I feel you near

The man whose name was Moses
Walked in on all four noses
Blabbering about the roses
Dying of tuberculosis


My opinions are like glass bulbs
If in contact with solid objects
It will shatter and the light will fade
I don't even know about that analogy
I'm at the breaking point


All eventuality
All inevitability
Is death


Your mischievous eyes
Like a little child
Waiting to steal candy
From mother's bedside

Death won't hit you
like a truck
or
like a blade
Death is a gas
that you slowly
inhale

Open mouth singing
in your diamond shirt
embroidered with collectibles
of smiles and laughters
that you gathered that
day on the beach

Spellbound dreams
that you carry
in a silver faded necklace
carved with the initials
of all the constellations
you can point to

Wheatfield sun
dancing upon your
golden hair
of rainbow flowers too
you move the wind
and mother earth dances with

I still wish you would come back
Please hurry home now
Before I fall in the midnight black

Your absence will hit me with a whack
Even though I don't know how
I still wish you would come back

Our favours weren't in the zodiac
I better find another vow
Before I fall in the midnight black

I think I see the clothes you pack
The uniform you did endow
I still wish you would come back

You see, you made me a maniac
I need you to stop my bow
Before I fall in the midnight black

I don't want to see you in some sort of flashback
I want the real you somehow
I still wish you would come back
Before I fall in the midnight black

Sitting in this cool black chair with a blanket of sunshine beating down on every inch of my skin
I stare off in the distance, beyond my dark brick wall
Where the seamless pillow clouds float away and towards
On a blue ocean of infinite depth with puffs of smoke in layers
The wall blocks the view halfway, leaving only the sky visible
No ground to be seen or believed as real
If I were to jump right over the wall
I might just miss the mud and the grass
And end up only falling endlessly into the abyss of baby blue

We've grown so quiet over the years
hiding behind our illusions of fear.
My fingers have grown so long
these are not the hands I've come to know.

Perhaps we stood in the rain too much
now the water has cleansed us of mud,
but standing naked in an empty field
will only remind you of how cold you now feel.

If I could have one more wish,
I'd wish to become the wallpaper, miss;
We'd lose our body, our mind and our thoughts
and just stand in the room observing a spot.

How can I ever look forward
if my future's decided beforehand.
Time is a double-edged sword
and we will all soon soar

Who are you going to be when you die?
There are so many options that didn't exist when you were alive

Will you become a skeleton?
A solid reminder of your past;
trapped underneath the cavern of your death
but accepting the truth of pure night.

Will you become a ghost?
Haunting your place of resting
forever remaining where your heart is;
sleeping with both eyes open

Will you become a zombie?
such a restlessness you carry,
no elegance to the stars above you;
you struggle against the blanket tucking you in

Sprinkling crystals dipped in glass
ray of prisms breeze my eye
sunshine rhythms hide in grass
floating sugar on the pie

Neon lights pass to scroll
while purple midnight breathes
jacket goosebumps stockings stole
four-wheeled lion grumbly seethes

Honey nectar slumbers my eyes
whitewashed lace tangle my face
gentle buzzings of pastel sky
as cotton candy sank with grace

Open heart box standing in the rain
cries diamonds for to call her name
the poetry train caught riding to Spain
set carnival dewdrops on red flames

You're a Stevie Nicks type of fairy
a girl isolated from the valley
such soft features that you carry
be careful to be wary

You have a Sylvia Plath kind of misery
for every cut, I'll give you a raspberry
read her book to be on your merry
be careful what you take to your bury

My little pilot flew away
far into another world
on another floor

Now I'm left in the ocean
with no rope pulling
consumed by the waves

After many weeks
trapped in the desert
he repaired his broken wing

And so set of sailing
among cumulonimbus clouds
alleviating the storm

I now come to realize
how deserted I, too, am
now with no pilot to pull me out

A drop of sunshine
i sneak glances when i know not to look
for one glance would leave me blind
and broken behind the nook

A drop of moonlight
i search for light, in vain by clouds
you're as hidden as a winter night
and as far away as the wind allows

A spark of darkness
i light up only to have you fade out
silence suffices one to harken
and i hear nothing in her shout

I will take you to the moon, my love
We can sit and watch the stars, my love
Cosmic winds blow by our face, my love
We can watch the world collapse, my love

Can you see the rays of sunshine
Peeping through your fingertips
It's seeping into your eyelids
When you're lying on the concrete

Can you feel the fresh air blowing
Caressing your salty sweat
Its breezing by your shoulders
When you're there by the bridge

Can you smell the newly dead leaves
Scattering on the silken grass
It reaches deep within you
Touching a familiar past

Can you see your little girl now
As you’re running to the creek
While decade old sun’s resting
And the finches sing melodies

Here on the beach, I realize the sand sticks to you more than people;
Broken eggshells, grains of pepper, some rocks all dissolved.
And a mouthful of salt to top it all off
I'm seasoned for life

A monitor sight fixed on a scene
as they talk and talk away
my eyes scan mumbles, shoulders, hair screen
as I had nothing to say

I'm shrouded by a heat blanket
that I got when I broke both legs
I fixed it on another planet
and then I wished to be in bed

My camera's offscreen stuck offstage
while my mind roams the empty rooms
but blindness causes people rage
because all they see are tombs

The word's they echo off my mind
but I'm too far away to respond
mindfulness isn't always kind
and they'd rather I be fond

Once again I am lying
face down and lying
about whether I am truly crying
inside my heart that is dying

You're probably there and only smiling
not knowing what you're inspiring
as if you love my rhyming
not like you deserve a whining

I must convince her it is not normal
that this behavior is much informal
that it will only lead to her journal
being filled with feelings most immoral

Starry-eyed child listen
I know you hymn to his whistlin'
but don't believe in his fiction
even if he's your prison

Yet I only flock to your mock
After all, it's only small talk
but way past 12 O'clock
about your mind being stalk

A faint green glow keeps me awake
keeps me hoping for your daybreak
but all I receive is light ache
as midnight fails to reciprocate

When I traverse the lowest valleys
and climb the highest peaks
I break forth my journal
my pencil and I feel

In the dark, it lights a path
in the light, it bursts the dark
though I must admit I write the most
when I'm in the dumps

I spit onto pages
venomous oceans of blue and black ink
in life, I've no way of reaching him
or is it for a person, a concept, or a thing?

Will pretty eyes mind poetry?
Or is that something misperceived?
Am I only screaming at dead trees
for the rest of my life; for eternity?

Little baby doll got a new dress
Pressed with flowers and diamonds
For the high school fest
But the shadow men hunt
Where the glass ball hung
So they tore it to shreds
And left her for numb

A blue mother on the street is weeping
Sweeping ashes of leaving
After a cradle was taken
And the box was a cell
That the man claimed a bell
Could paint it education
When clearly a jail

When 12 kicking boys had entered demise
Their eyes gazed around in goodbyes
As the mouth shut them inside
Now the river is flowing
And noses are blowing
As the ball is aside
And no one is toeing

I stand up and stretch
A page has been ripped
And a brown drop of bean
Gently covered their face
A name is nothing but a headline
And a life but a text

The pig has learned to stand it seems
His seams been tied with newfound peace
So humbly has his weapons been ceased
But how long can this charade now last
The past’s been proven to re-act fast
The southern neighbor bows to no beast
They firmly remember a red borne past

Vicious with his knives
Sneaks up behind his victims
Slices them with a smile

And all the while they whine
Vicious shines a light
Illuminating the Divine

For which all of his crimes
Add up in the sky
As the government lies

And the homeless do not mind
They're busy picking up grime
And so Vicious must oblige

Pointing to the high
Who clearly can't divide
And the fire is nigh

I heard a man today claim
that life is like bubbles caught in the rain
any day now ours will fade
and leave behind whatever remains

It rained in Toronto today
rained on pavement and on road
rained on garbage and on stone
rained on children and of old

Umbrella's of yellow and green
shelter the schools from hurricanes obscene
a little tear from sharpened sleeve
will open up a wound to heal

Stacked on boxes of holes inside holes
an echo chamber with no place to go
cast away boat alone on the shore
will open up all new kinds of pores

And when it rains, it rains hard
all the umbrella's been scared by a shard
the boxes are all now to discard
if only there were a bubble like heart

What do you think it's about
what Do you think it's about
what do You think it's about
what do you Think it's about
what do you think It's about
what do you think it's About

Every way your eye can see
there's somebody there waiting for sea
they've built their boat they've backed their bags
and I'm left behind fighting for air

I remember being told long ago
that the ocean's frightful if you drift aboard
yet the wood remained trees as I couldn't decide
cause I couldn't choose a particular style

Behind me, the earth's begins shaking
it's rumbling and my home's quaking
ahead the sea is screaming
I see it tugging my friends; all dreaming

But I love standing on the shoreline
between the ruins and the sunrise
I know I shouldn't stay for long
before my legs begin to corrode

Mirror Mirror what a shame
you've come to ruin another name
smudged in ink
she sank like zinc
before I even knew to blame

Little birdie picking mice
did you know she slept in ice?
Bobbing head
yessings said
and with that, my throat she sliced

Such a midnight spoken blur
whatever did I do to her?
handed hand
she broke my stand
the biggest alley whisperer

It never were a slip of Freud
and now I see she's paranoid
people smart
with empty heart
she dropped my secrets into the void

I have pictures of the sun rays creeping through the thin tree branches
I have pictures of the waves sleeping on coral sandy beaches
I have pictures of the clouds dancing in an orchestrated line in the sky
But ****, I wish I had a picture of your smile

O my dearest serenity
you've watched me all my life
pray tell me if I ever garnered
such bad karma from the skies

I break my legs to stay on track
I blind my eyes to not gaze back
do tell me why 6 hawks now monitor
aligning me to the ground

And so close to confetti;
I guess annual traditions must occur
much like with you and my mother
paying a monthly return

But please o do tell me
how I've trickled into this
straight in the middle of a quarreling couple
who I believe is meant to be

Do not let her green eyes ponder
over miscalculated fantasy.
Especially do not let her blue mind wonder
when it is so close to 23

Living in my mind
flying high
free of life
please line me down

Chain me down toward the ground
Force me to be earthbound
Strip me of my thought
Lace me with thorn cots

It happened early one morning.
It happened like it always does,
times 3.

Strapped, armed, holding hands
what every loving mother
shouldn't do.

Word of it traveled
like the winter flu,
by noon everybody had heard

of maniacal faithers
who took home her children
lighting up fireworks.

The sun blazed dazedly
evaporating 3 crosses,
not quite melting the ice.

Until it reached my porch step,
it were but distant voices.
now it's here

and real. like it always is of course

but now it's closer than ever
bursting at my door.

Sliced up like a juicy tomato
his screams are muffled by
a screen screening bright information

into the heads of mouths
who offer surreal commentary
disguised as jokes.

We're terrified.
We're hypochondriacs fearing
contamination of a rampant

plague.
A plague we've never seen before.
Our ****** eyes.

So many have already
been ***** by fate.
Faith in fatherly beards

granting wishes to
obedient children
who go tarnishing other fathers' gardens.

What an absurd world
where IS is ice that
cannot melt.

What an absurd world
where children weep
at mothers' debt.

What an absurd world
where faithful supremity
reigns unchecked.

On the night of my 16th winter
I found within me a heart that withered
Like a plum purple grape
Left out in the sun on a gold plate

Who knows how many times I've passed the gate
Who knows how many times I've closed my eyes
Who knows if I'm already dead inside
If this is only an illusion to keep my spirit alive
While my body fails to reconcile
and keeps on walking, dead or alive

I want to write pretty words
on pretty paper

Live in a pretty little house
in a pretty little village

Lie in a pretty comfy bed
next to a pretty comfy window

And look at the pretty sunset
and the pretty tree branches

Next to a nice pretty Lover
hugging me pretty nicely

Late summer evening, close to the lake.
sitting on the honey tabled bench
snacking on sweet berries,
watching the sweaty children go cannonballing
into coldening water.
A swift breeze between the trees,
a soft kiss swims through the darkening leaves
entering my eyes as a ray of light.
A quiet hymn leaving her lips,
a lullaby of our ancestors,
napping in the air and seducing me to sleep.
A warm embrace from mother nature herself,
sending her heat through the fields.
The golden grass bends in the sun
the sleeping deer releases a sigh
I look towards the sunset mountains
and breathe in my orange surroundings