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Aug 2018 · 412
home is with you;
envydean Aug 2018
Home is
Arms wrapped around his shoulders when he’s cold
A cup of coffee waiting for him in the morning
A warm hello
A glance from across the room

Home is
Fingers entwined in his own
A quiet evening
A well-read book
A gentle smile
A blanket draped over him when he falls asleep

Home is
The open road when things get too much
A way to distract himself
A best friend to sit beside him
A person to talk to
A lover to sleep beside him

Home is more than just four walls.
Home is a best friend turned someone to love
Home is a brother to turn to
Home is within his heart
Home is Castiel’s grumpy good morning
Home is a kiss to his forehead when no one is looking

Home is a perfect peace.
for the Supernatural Poetry Challenge | Prompt: Home
envydean Aug 2017
Anger curls around him
Grips him tight in giant claws
Takes hold before he can even process
It’s still dark
His knees still aching in the dirt
His best friend is still dead

Claws digging in, he pitches forward
Hands resting on dead man’s shoulders
He could have stopped this
He should have stopped this
He would have stopped this
And taken his place in a heartbeat

Too angry to cry
Too angry to say anything
He’s alone and the claws dig in deeper
It’s all directed towards himself
Not to the man on the ground
Because Castiel is a man now,
His burnt-out wings are testimony for that
And it hurts so **** much.

As if all the anger rises to the surface
All in one go
Like a volcano on the verge of eruption
Dean shouts to the sky
Ignoring the slight twinkling stars
And the bright moon
It’s supposed to be beautiful
But it’s ugly
Ugly with his own rage

Give him back!
Spoilers for 12x23.

written for the SPN Poetry Challenge | Prompt: anger
envydean Jul 2017
In an old log cabin
In the middle of the woods
Eerie quiet around them
Still, it’s peaceful

Strong arms around him
Warmth, heart and home
Lips against his jaw
Hands against his hips
His own fingers roaming in short hair
Then running over stubble

Backs of knees hitting the bed
Tumbling down with gracelessness
Deep laughter echoes
Blue eyes roaming his body
Loving him as if for forever

They still
So, so quiet
Breaths wisping past ears
And then arms again
Tight around his body
Never letting go
Lips against his neck
Against his bare chest
And against his lips

They’ll hold on to each other
For as long as time allows
A sultry southern voice
Breaking the quiet
But still a whisper

“You’re the best of them, cher,”
And it quiets
He kisses him
Long and slow
Making up for what words can’t do
He loves him
He’s in love with him

And he hopes even God won’t contend with them.
Written for the SPN Poetry Challenge on Tumblr :)
Jul 2017 · 795
Falling Hard
envydean Jul 2017
Wings useless

Falling hard

Limbs painful

Calling out

A hand

Green eyes
… Dean
who doesn't like some painful destielness...
Jun 2017 · 1.2k
Painted With Colour
envydean Jun 2017
Look up to the sky, see it painted with colour
As the day turns to night
And the moon shines bright

Look up to the sky, see it painted with colour
As they lie quietly in the back
Leather beneath them, they hit the sack

Look up to the sky, see it painted with colour
An angel watching over them
As for sleeping, he won’t succumb

Look up to the sky, see it painted with colour
Another hunt done
Another war won

Look up to the sky, see it painted with colour
They’re tired and haunted
Their dreams distorted

Look up to the sky, see it painted with colour
Dawn arises high
It’s quite a drive but they’ll get by

Look up to the sky, see it painted with colour
An angel and two brothers
Saving people, hunting others
written for the SPN Poetry Challenge (first line is the prompt)
Apr 2017 · 2.0k
not strong enough
envydean Apr 2017
He started it all
The **** apocalypse
Castiel tells him it’s not his fault
But it is
There’s no one else to blame
He got himself sent to hell
Sold his soul for his own selfishness

He started it all
The **** apocalypse
He turns away
He won’t look at Castiel
It has to be him
You started it, you finish it
That’s what Castiel tells him

He started it all
The **** apocalypse
He’s not a hero
A tear slips down his face
And he hides it away
He’s not strong enough
Castiel takes his hand, warm and gentle

He started it all
The **** apocalypse
Castiel tells him he won’t leave him
Won’t let him stop the apocalypse alone
Tells him that he got him out of hell
That he broke the seal as well
Castiel still holds his hand, warm and gentle
Written for the Supernatural Poetry Challenge that I run on Tumblr. The prompt was the quote: "I'm not a hero, I'm not strong enough". This is a destiel version of the scene in 4x16
Feb 2017 · 924
Yearning For Our Lost Years
envydean Feb 2017
They’re taller and older now
Dean’s no longer a four-year-old
I don’t have to tie his shoes
Or wipe his nose when he cries
Sam no longer wails for food
Or coos for attention

They’re taller and older now
They’ve got great wisdom
Some I never wished for them
They know things I never wanted them to
And sometimes when I’m alone in my room
I’ll yearn for our lost years

They’re taller and older now
And Dean can hold me in his arms
And Sam towers over me
They’re both so full of love still
That never seemed to change
Inside, they’re still my baby boys
Written for the Supernatural Poetry Challenge February 2017. Prompt: Mary Winchester.
Dec 2016 · 671
envydean Dec 2016
Be human or angel
he's still tied
to a subsun halo
inspired by my Castiel Colour Challenge Prompt: Subsun
Oct 2016 · 725
days of remembering
envydean Oct 2016
Warmth on his face
Burning on his knees
A gentle hand snaked around his waist
A touch so mild it’s barely there

Green eyes stare into the flames
He wished he didn’t have to remember
No one should have to remember flames
Engulfing their home and possessions
And their mother.

Fireworks crack over head
Blue eyes gaze at the colourful sparks
He remembers too
The day when the sky forgot to show them the stars
And showed them his brothers and sisters falling

Pulled close, they have each other
Tender touches, sparse words
Because they both remember
But they’re both still here
A human raised from hell
An angel fallen from heaven

Bent and a little crooked maybe
But still whole
Still family
Still together
written for the final SPN writing challenge with the prompt of "Bonfire". A little angsty but whatever; have some feels.
May 2016 · 817
In Your Own Light
envydean May 2016
Standing in your own light
Creating yourself a shadow
Now it’s too dark to see
Wherever it is you’re going
The light is fading fast
And you’re all alone
There’s no one there beside you
To help you find your light again
You can’t move out the way
It’s too hard to do so
You want someone to move you
Send you in the right direction
Out of the way of the light
So you can see your path again
envydean Apr 2016
The hood of the impala
Still warm from driving
Miles and miles
Of endless road
Stopped at the side
Of the dirt track road
Sky purple
An oncoming storm
On the horizon
The brothers sit out
Basking in the last warmth
Backs resting against the windshield
A rare chance of calm
No blood
No gore
No monster
No worries
Just ordinary brothers
On a road trip from hell
Written for @humblesam on Tumblr :) She requested a poem about the Winchester Brothers :)
envydean Mar 2016
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four
We know that Dean has been here before

Five tequila, six tequila, seven tequila, eight,
That time that he lost his soulmate

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four
He helped end the apocalyptic war

Five tequila, six tequila, seven tequila, eight,
He surely deserves a clean slate

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four
Now he’s knocking on heaven’s door

Five tequila, six tequila, seven tequila, eight,
Let him in, just open the gate.
written for @tequilasdean for winning my March BOTM! :D
Feb 2016 · 954
scarring reminder
envydean Feb 2016
He pleads and shouts
Get away!
That he’ll only get hurt
If he cradles the angel to his chest
There’s blood on his face
Grace leaking from a wound
And Dean holds on tight
Not wanting to let go
Please Dean, he’ll beg
You’ve got to get away.
I’m not leaving my angel
He’ll reply
He holds him close
More of the bright grace
Spilling to the floor
Hold on tight
Don’t let him go
He can’t go
I need him
I need him so much

Let go
Let go
Let go
He pleads
And a burst of pain
Spreads across dean’s chest
As the angel’s wings
Leave the burn marks
He cries
He shouts
In pain and in shock
It hurts so much
To not see life in
Those beautiful blue eyes
He’s gone
And the scarring reminder
Is there on his chest
The shadow of angel wings
Burnt into him

He’d told him to let go
Didn’t want Dean to carry the burden
Of the marks upon himself
But he does
And he holds on tight
Even as his brother tries to
Pull him away
Dragging him into an embrace
His brother whispers words
It’s okay
It’s okay
It’s okay
But it’s not
He’s got the reminder on his chest
And Castiel’s body beside him
As his brother holds him close
And it’s not okay
It hurts so much
Everywhere – his
Everything hurts
Like it won’t get better
It won’t
It won’t
It won’t
But it will
It will
It will
well this is one of the most feelsy things I've ever written. It's based on a piece of fanart I saw:

and I've been trying for months to write poetry for it and finally the inspiration hit me and here we are!
Feb 2016 · 788
Permanent Black Ink
envydean Feb 2016
The black ink
Permanent against his skin
A protection
A ward
Against evils

No demons can get
Inside his body
To control and possess him
To tear his mind apart

His body is his
With the tattoo
On his chest
In permanent
Black ink
for @tattooedsam on Tumblr :) Poem is inspired by their URL :)
envydean Jan 2016
It has been said
by several hunters
that the Winchester boys
they’re soulless
they’re without inhibitions
that they’ll **** without
even a second thought

Some say
they are soulful
that they care
too much
too hard
and that’s dangerous too
Written for @soullesshunters on Tumblr - my BOTM winner for January
envydean Dec 2015
He can fly;
Flit through time,
Glide through dimensions,
And swoop through the universe

It’s all at his disposal;
To use the universe,
To his every need,
(Just like the others)
To get to the Winchester brothers

The stars will greet him;
As long lost celestial companions,
They meet frequently,
Watch as they see his true form,
Soar through the vacuum,
Towards the light of the Earth
Written for @mishtletoe on Tumblr who asked for Castiel and The Universe :)
Nov 2015 · 5.5k
we've a sunrise in the city
envydean Nov 2015
Driving into the city
The early morning
Just stirring
The street lights still glow
Their ***** orange

But the sky
The sky is amassed with colour
From the deep dark blue of night
Where I can still see the stars
And the moon shines bright
It melts in the east
To pinks and oranges
Almost browns and purples
Mixed with the light blue
Of the crisp chilled air.
You can't see the sun
Not yet
The clouds  are sparked grey
But no rain is forecast
Perhaps we'll get snow
It seems cold enough.
Thought about this as I drove to work this morning. The sky was astounding, I wish I could have taken a picture
Nov 2015 · 987
He's All Winchester
envydean Nov 2015
He’s all green eyes
The type that sparkle
In the early morning sun
That reflect with love
And bravery and protection

He’s all light freckles
That dance across
His nose and cheeks
That can be counted
As galaxies in the universe

He’s all lean muscle
The kind that is
Built naturally
From years of hunting
And fighting evil things

He’s all sadness and defeat
After losing his brother
Just one too many times
And losing all he loves
All the **** time

He’s all Winchester
Stubborn and selfless
Damaged and dangerous
Protective and brave
He’s Dean Winchester
written for @deanyw on Tumblr for winning my November Blog of the Month :)
Oct 2015 · 820
envydean Oct 2015
There’s blood on his hands
Not that anyone can see
It’s the blood of the innocent
More blood than he could foresee

It’s been years and years
Of fighting and killing
Evil monsters and demons
To **** them, he’s more willing

His hands hold the weapons
With a strong and firm grip
He can slice off a head
Into evil he’ll empty a clip

His hands are calloused
From digging grave after grave
He’ll shake others’ hands
They’re soft, it’s what he craves
Written for @literallyjensen on Tumblr :) The prompt was Dean Winchester and his hands :)
Sep 2015 · 1.6k
My Soul Is Bound To A Demon
envydean Sep 2015
My Soul is bound to a demon
I can feel its force
Twisting and turning
Roping its way around my heart

My Soul is bound to a demon
It sent me to Hell
Yet here I am still on Earth
Though I cannot control it

My Soul is bound to a demon
The darkness within me
I shall never let it take me
I will fight until I am free

My Soul is bound to a demon
But my Soul wants to break free
Written because I was inspired when I was making a graphic and I also needed some words for said graphic so here we are :)
Sep 2015 · 414
envydean Sep 2015
The angels are warriors
They’re seraphs and soldiers
They’re messengers and protectors
And they’ve existed for aeons.

They say they’ve existed
Since the dawn of time
Since there was just darkness
And no light

They say they’ve existed
Since there was no water
Since there was no land
Just Heaven and Hell

They say they’ve existed
For years upon years
For centuries upon centuries
For aeons
           upon aeons
                       upon aeons
                                         upon aeons…
For @aeoniancas on Tumblr :)
Sep 2015 · 707
Your Brother's Nightmare
envydean Sep 2015
He’s screaming your name
In the middle of the night
You run down the hall
Ready for a fight

Your gun is drawn
And you crash through the door
Your bare feet are cold
On the old hard oak floor

He’s tumbling and turning
And can’t keep still
The nightmares plaguing him
Of those he’s had to ****

He’s tangling himself within the sheets
So you step forward, put your gun away
Your expression drops, just like your guard
Just for a moment you watch and stay

After a while
The nightmare seems to settle
You return to your room
Legs resting against the bedframe’s cold metal
Based on a scene in Supernatural Season 10, written in Sam's perspective :)
Aug 2015 · 938
Just A Little Boy
envydean Aug 2015
He’s just a little boy
With a broken soul
With only a brother to fix him
Take this as Sam or Dean :)
Aug 2015 · 1.2k
Angelic Handprint
envydean Aug 2015
He reaches down to the dwindling Soul
Wrapping an arm around it
Forcing it to piece back together
Into something more human
Something more righteous
Than just a soul with no flesh
It hadn't meant to cause hurt or harm
But sending a man’s Soul back to his
Body has its repercussions
The tighter he holds the more the flesh burns
A burst of light in somewhere that
Has more than darkness
And the surroundings change
A man whom had been just a soul
Tearing and torturing other souls until he broke
Was once again human
A human with an angelic handprint
On his left shoulder
Written for @deanshandprint on Tumblr :)
Jul 2015 · 365
It's Late At Night...
envydean Jul 2015
It's late at night
And my cries
Are more like silent sobs
Face pressed into my covers
Legs tucked up to my chest
Wet tears leak onto my pillow
I swipe at them with my t shirt sleeve
My heart is thumping loudly
I'm wondering if I'll even sleep
I was feeling particularly ****** last night after something happened so yeah...
envydean Jul 2015
Surrounded by darkness
Death, despair and pain
Instruments of torture
Ways to make you hurt
And never think again

Then there’s a light
Something bright in the distance
Enclosed in a safe embrace
Darkness as unconsciousness ensues
Bringing him back into existence

Consciousness regains and he’s back into darkness
Scratching at the wooden surround
Nothing but a lighter to see
That he’s six foot under
And needs to get out of the ground

Fingertips beak the surface
Reaching up to the mid-morning sun
***** hands and a dirt face appear
He stands and looks around
The only thing missing is his gun

Making a trek to the nearest place
Shirt strapped firm around his hips
He finds a small shop
Grabs a bottle of water
Nicks a magazine and a bag of chips

A crash and a bang
Shattering glass
A sound so loud
He’s covering his ears
Thinking how long this will last

For an angel is calling
To his sisters and brothers
That Dean Winchester has been saved
The Righteous Man has been earthbound
Out to save the rest of the others.
written for my July Blog of the Month Winner @deanisaved on Tumblr :)
Jun 2015 · 822
Dear Sammy...
envydean Jun 2015
Dear Sammy,
This darkness inside me
It'll **** me soon
I don't want you
To see it
Take over me
To bare the weight
That maybe
You could have saved me
But I can't even
Save myself.

Dear Sammy,
I don't want to leave
But I have to
You're better off
Without me
There's so much
You can do
You can save the world
But you can't save me
Not if I can't
Even save myself.
Kinda spoilerish for S10, but whatever
Jun 2015 · 497
Sam Is Tough
envydean Jun 2015
There's only so much a man can take
Before he burns out and starts to break;
Some turn, try to live with it,
Some might end up in the pit.

Sam however,
Is as strong as ever;
For Sam is a man who's tough,
Even when the going gets rough.

He tries his best to keep it together,
Not just for him but also his brother;
He withstood the pit for as long as he could,
Taking on more than a man should.

Sam is as strong as ever;
Staying tough for he and his brother.
Written for @toughsam on Tumblr. She won my Blog of the Month :)
May 2015 · 684
Urges of the Mark
envydean May 2015
I feel it pulse in my arm
Feel the anger course my veins
Try and fight the urge to snap

The Mark never settles
It’s always there, nagging
Trying to get me to ****

History repeats itself
I vow never to let it happen
Never to **** my brother
May 2015 · 4.8k
Two Brave Brothers
envydean May 2015
There will always be two brave brothers;
Who put each other before another.

Whether hunting at dawn, dusk or night;
They will always be each other’s light.

In times of dark, despair or pain;
They will always try to keep the other sane.

When lost in purgatory, heaven or hell;
They will never bid each other farewell.

There will always be two brave brothers;
Who will always fight for one another.
Written for @brotherlyfeels on Tumblr (her URL was the inspiration)
Apr 2015 · 536
The Wolves
envydean Apr 2015
A branch of a tree scrapes against my side
The long green grass tickles my tummy
My nose twitches as I smell the crisp morning air
My ears flick towards distant sounds
My eyes are soundly focused on the target in front
As I creep forward

My eyes lock onto the prey in front of me
I can see the rest of the pack closing in
My paws step quietly in the long grass
I can smell the scent of the deer
My mouth is watering from the thought of food
As I prepare to pounce

A growl escapes from my mouth
My paws feel the cool morning air
I can hear the barking of the other wolves
I can see the fear in the eyes of the beast
My prey makes to run
As I launch towards the deer

My claws dig into the flesh of the deer
My jaw locks into the neck
The rest of the pack have grabbed on
The deer begins to bolt but stumbles
We crash onto the floor
As we savage the deer

There is blood around my mouth
I can see the deer’s eyes looking at me
Though the eyes aren’t seeing
Deep down there is guilt
But we wolves have to eat
As we turn and stride away
Apr 2015 · 818
The Eulogy
envydean Apr 2015
No close family,
He chose me to speak for him,
My best friend,
My partner,
The one who had my back,
His life ended so suddenly.

I sit here alone,
Writing this eulogy,
I've known him for ten years,
Yet I still don’t know what to say,
I have to write something,
For his sake.

Scrunched paper,
Strewn across my flat,
Dark black ink scribbled out words,
Words I want to say,
But I cannot.

As a member of the armed forces,
You'd think I would know,
What to write,
About a friend who'd died,
Killed in action.
I try,
One last time,
The last piece of paper,
The pen will run out if I don’t write something,
My best friend, my partner in crime you may say.

I start with this,
Remembrance of the times,
When we were ten,
That was twelve years ago,
When he and I would race the fields,
Jump about in muddy puddles.

I smile,
This is working,
I write and I write,
It's piecing together perfectly,
One last word and it's done.
Apr 2015 · 7.5k
Two Brothers
envydean Apr 2015
Two brothers walk into the sun
Just simply thinking, "This day is done."
But tomorrow there'll be another
Saving people; hunting others
So knife in hand they fight the day
Wishing the life would pay their way
Apr 2015 · 666
Look Into His Eyes
envydean Apr 2015
The way you look into his eyes
The way he looks into yours
It means the world to both of you
But you don't seem to know it
Not yet
Could be destiel
Apr 2015 · 600
Returning To Heaven
envydean Apr 2015
You let that one human tear slip from your eyes
As you say the last of your goodbyes
Returning to heaven shouldn’t be the end
But now everything is on the mend
You are no longer needed on the earth
Though when you were here you earned your worth

Reinstated as an angel of heaven
Leave your vessel in your possession
Return to your true form
Watch as you cause a storm
The beauty of your size
Can also be others’ demise
You’ll still watch over the pair
Those brothers with hearts so fair
Apr 2015 · 722
envydean Apr 2015
He sees him
The man – no angel
With the blond hair
The hooded evil eyes

He taunts him
With games that hurt
He wants the attention
Something he refuses him

He breaks him
Breaks him until his eyes ***** up
Until hands clasp to his head
Until he forces a thumb into his palm

He disappears
Real pain, a hug from his brother
Forces him back to the real world
That is until he comes back
Written for @hallucifersammy. Their URL was the inspiration.
envydean Apr 2015
When he opens the door
He’ll see him on the floor
His brother with a ****** face
Beaten by a man with grace

Dean! He’ll shout, scared
But what he’ll see, he won’t be prepared
A knife wound in his chest
Looking such a ****** mess

He’ll call his name
Only for it to be in vain
He’ll pick him up, strong
Take him back to where he belongs

On his bed
He’ll rest his head
Only to open is eyes
A demon in disguise
Written for @hvrtdean on Tumblr. URL was the inspiration.
Apr 2015 · 1.0k
envydean Apr 2015
As he looks to the sky
It's only then that he wonders why
The sky is a vast empty space
Where there once was grace
Where there once were stars
Now there are only scars
From angels that fell
For he knows it too well

For he fell too
Written for @starlesscas on Tumblr. Her URL was the prompt
Apr 2015 · 521
Hallowed Is To Be Holy
envydean Apr 2015
Hallowed is to be holy
I try to be holy, father
I help the brothers
I am your soldier

Hallowed is to be blessed
I keep the Winchesters safe
I do what is asked of me
I am a warrior

Hallowed is to be highly respected
I'm taken for who I am
I'm taken for what I've done
I tried to be an angel for you
Written for @hallowedbecastiel on Tumblr.

— The End —