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Emory May 22
If I fall in a forest,
And no one is around to hear,
My graceless collision with the ground,
Did I make a sound?

I would still have the bruises,
Or whatever the tree equivalent is,
And my bark may still sting,
But would the echo ring?

If I fall in a forest,
And no one likes my post,
My strategically formulated caption,
Why does everything feel like it's caving in?

I would still have the moment,
Where I took the picture,
Locked in my memory,
Or maybe not–
I chose instead to exist as pixels.
Emory Feb 14
You remind me of color.

Perhaps it's because,
Of your love for it,
And all the beauty,
It creates.

Or maybe it's because,
When I am around you,
Just like with colors,
The world seems so vibrant.

But I suspect the reason lies,
Within the fact that you,
Like color,
Are not what you claim to be.

Light's wavelengths come down,
And you absorb them,
Reflecting back everything else.

So you see,
You are not red.
You are everything but that.

And if you are color,
I am the cones in our eyes,
Interpreting you as what you reflect,
You are to the world.
Believing your facade to be true.
Emory Dec 2018
It's not you that makes my heart flutter,
Inspired and striving,
To be like the butterflies in my stomach.

It's the chemicals and hormones,
That enter my bloodstream,
When you're around.

My smiles not for you,
It's my body's natural reaction,
To the surplus of dopamine and oxytocin.

So don't let it get to your head,
That waking up to a text from you,
Distracts me for the rest of the day.

And don't pity me,
That I still cry when I think about how,
You chose her,
Over me.
Emory Aug 2018
Throughout my day,
There’s a constant buzz,
White noise and distraction,
To keep the thoughts at bay.

If self doubt is blasphemy,
Then I’m full of sin,
Thanks to the voice,
Swirling around in my head,
Repeating the word broken.

I am broken,
Unworthy of kindness,
Unworthy of love,
Unworthy of life,
A complete and total mess.

I may trick people at first,
But if they know me long enough,
My fragile mask will crack,
Just enough for them to see,
The wreck inside,
I was never that tough.

Sometimes I even fool myself,
Into believing I am whole,
That the shattered doll,
Has somehow glued its pieces back together,
That I am not broken,
That I am mended,
That I was never broken.
Emory Aug 2018
He picked me up in his car,
And asked me what happened,
That's always the first question,
First thing that people think to say.

They want to know why,
Tears have formed in my eyes,
And roll down my face.

They want to know where,
The pain is coming from,
So that they might stop it.

They want to know who,
I am thinking about,
When I claim to feel alone.

I'll tell you what, why, where, and who.
What happened is nothing,
It came out of nowhere.
The why is nothing,
There is no cause.

The where is nowhere,
Nowhere they can reach.
The who is no one,
At least that's what I feel like.

I know you don't believe me,
When I answer your questions.
I told you the truth,
You just don't understand depression.

Just like him,
You have that look in your eyes,
And close your mouth,
Deciding not to push it for now.

But just wait until next time,
If I give you the chance.
And you will ask again.
Not realizing your questions,
Only remind me that I am broken.
Emory Aug 2018
Is it a sacrifice to spend so much time thinking of you?
I have convinced myself I am honoring your memory, I suppose,
But that little person that lives in my brain,
The one that monitors my mistakes and yells at my flaws,
Keeps telling me that I am selfish.

Selfish to indulge in this sadness,
Selfish to cry when thinking of you,
Selfish to see you in my dreams,
When I could have, should have, done so much more,
When you were still alive.
Emory Aug 2018
I could live in those moments forever,
Like when in shock my brain suddenly lost language,
My heart ceased beating,
My lungs no longer filled with air,
Creating a temporary death to accompany my realization of your permanent one, Annalisa.

Or perhaps the moment when,
We were frantically trying to get back to your hospital room, Flora,
When we got the call that you were fading away,
Helping your husband as he struggled with his walker,
And more heartbreak than I have ever seen on one face,
All while knowing we would be too late.

Even that brief sensation of dropping,
My body falling faster than my heart,
That suddenly occupied my throat,
As I rushed to an imagined release,
Could last me a lifetime.

But the memories of your smile, laugh, and happiness,
Fade more quickly than I would have predicted,
Those moments so sweet,
They melt as quickly as cotton candy in your mouth.
And I am left only with a sour aftertaste,
Cruel, lingering memories here to haunt me forever.
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