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I want it to stop
Time is what I need
Too many things going on
I just need a breather

A break that's what I need
Thoughts buzzing
Zooming all over
Never catching just one

Sometimes I just wish my brain
Was a file cabinet
I could easily organize everything
Maybe I wouldn't be going crazy

My mind feels blank
But in reality
It's full
Too full

Maybe that's the reason I'm lazy
My brain works overtime
Not just normal overtime
But severe overtime

I'm trying
Trying my hardest
To just breathe
I wrote this when I was really stressed out and couldn't seem to get anything straight.
Stuck
Behind the scenes
Hidden
In the closet
It’s all the same
I’m stuck
No one supports me
The real me
The one I can only show friends
I don’t want to hide it
Not from my family
But I have to
They wouldn’t understand
They’d just say “I’m being selfish”
Or “I don’t understand”
But I’m not dumb
I understand everything perfectly
I know who I am
And who I like
No one can change that
Hopefully people will accept me
For me
Maybe I won’t have to hide
I can finally be true
Unlike most people
It’s relaxing
Finally knowing
Who I am
The mystery is solved
I know me
Who I am was finally
Revealed
I wrote this about me realizing that I’m a bigender pansexual.
All the feelings locked inside
Can't contain them
Someone help
Wait who is there
Everyone's gone away
No one to call on
No help
I've pushed you all away
It's my fault
Life gets ruined due to my stupidity
I wish someone could run to my resue
But who wants to do that
When I always propel everyone away
It's better for them
Sure it makes me toxic
But I can deal with it if it doesn't hurt
If someone gets too close
I hurt them
They become toxic
Just like me
Maybe it's better if you just stay away
Take care of yourself
Hope you live a good life
What? You wanna stay
I guess but it's your funeral
I warned you
Can't say I'll let you in completely
But I'll try not to shove you away
Maybe it'll work out for the best
But I doubt it
Good days
Bad days
Who decides them?
No one really knows what is considered
A bad or good day
It changes with each person
Everyone is a different person
How can you focus on what you see?
Have you ever thought about
What happens behind the scenes?
Hidden, Fake,
I've written poems with these names
And many other names like these
All attributed to the behind the scenes
People judge others' lives based on
What they see
No one cares about the unseen
The late nights
The dark fights
All they see is your "whining"
Or your "laziness"
Not how much effort is put into being alive
The resistance of the strong power of self-harm
Can you people wake up?
Please just realize there are people with serious problems
Some could result in danger
And toxic habits
What would you do if everyone made your "bad day" ****
Where it was so dreadful you didn't want to go anywhere
And you just wanted to end it all
Sunset Meadows Dec 2018
Can you see it?
The pain
Peaking through my eyes
Are you so oblivious?

Am I just that good
At hiding it all
Putting it away
For a rainy day

How can no one see
The pain that's so blatantly
In my heart

The pain isn't mental anymore
Now it's physical
My body feels the mental
Everything is breaking down

Is it just me?
Did the world dim?
Am I losing my mind?

I can't tell what reality is
I can't tell if I'm dreaming
Someone help me
I can't do this

I'm losing my mind
I'm going crazy  
No solace
If anyone feels like this I know what it feels like so if any of you ever need help I would be there.
Sunset Meadows Oct 2018
I need a fix
My blade
It's my only comfort
Music is the only one
That understands
Everyone says they do
But when are they there?
I'm hidden from everyone
Who would come looking for me
If I ran?
Ran from everything
I know where I would go
I know how
It would be easy
Who would risk everything
Just to find me?
Would anyone even care?
I wanna run
Anywhere but here
If someone cares they'll find me
Sunset Meadows Oct 2018
I see you're with someone else
One of my friends
I don't know how to get over you
I've tried
But I keep coming back
There's a much deeper connection
Than just friends
I feel it
No matter how far I run
Or how far you push me away
I'll always come back
Even though you have abandoned me
I will never abandon you
No matter how many times
You have pushed me aside
And said you don't care
You always say you would care
If I died but now
I'm not so sure
I know your girlfriend would
But I'm just an ex
I want to be in your life
But you always push me out
Plus it hurts to see you and her
Ever since that day
That horrid day
I've been lost
You could even say that I'm
Dead
It feels like it
Might as well make it true
You wouldn't care
You could finally be rid of me
So maybe I'll say goodbye
Forever
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