The funny thing about family is
we’re told that “It’s where you feel comfort.”
Then explain to me how I have never found it,
Explain how I would prefer to leave home rather than stay?
Explain how the people who are supposed to care for me keep spinning the dagger they themselves stuck in my back.

When you find the answers to these questions
Ask yourself if this old saying has any meaning
Because I am going to need some enlightenment
So please, enlighten me.

The greatest loss,
I ever will feel
Is losing myself

I’ve seen people around me
Lose themselves with the same issues

Yet I don’t think i’ll ever be able to
Get a grip on my own thoughts
So with this i say
That my last wish will be
That maybe i should have just
Let myself be free.

Days seem to be getting brighter,
Tastes seem to be getting sweeter
People seem to be becoming kinder.

When I started to see the light,
Is when I noticed
That I was putting myself into
The darkness.

I feel the earth sinking,
under the weight
Of my own thoughts.

I feel my heart breaking
With the hurt
You put me through.

I feel myself
Slipping away
Through the cracks
You made.

People are too quick to judge,
Saying that you’re just too lazy.
You avoid people because you don’t want to do anything.
You panic because you make things into
A big deal.
You’re not really as depressed as you say you are,
Or else you’d already be dead.

I'm sad,
but I feel like I'm not sad enough.

I hate food,
but not enough to stop eating.

I hurt myself,
but not enough for people to notice.

I want to die,
but not enough to seek it.

I want happiness
but i'm too scared to lose my identity.

I'm mad,
but not enough to seek revenge.

I'm a kid,
but not enough to live my life.

I find comfort, in my sadness,
I feel safe, in my self deprecation.

My life, is spent thinking how i disappointed you.
My existence, isn't being taken seriously.

But I know my peace, will come,
if i ever find the courage, to achieve it.