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5.7k · Apr 2016
//Battle
KittenJesus Apr 2016
The long haired kitten
sat in the comfort of dark,
while wisps of air blow
through his fingers,
he clicked away
on the mouse,
desperate to win
the fight between
him an his insanity.
2.7k · May 2016
//Scars...
KittenJesus May 2016
"Chicks dig scars"
...
..
.
Except for the ones you make.

But hey.
"No one loves a girl with scars"
Anyways.
this refers to another one of my poems
1.8k · Jun 2016
//My Cuts
KittenJesus Jun 2016
Started shallow but got
deeper as the    
memories got
harder to
ignore
1.7k · Apr 2016
//Impossible Running
KittenJesus Apr 2016
Hiding from
Love
is like
running from
Death
...
Impossible.
1.7k · May 2016
//The End
KittenJesus May 2016
The anger raged
throughout the room.

The light flicker
barely noticeable
above all the
water filled eyes.

The fight had
come to an end.


But the only ones
left were those who wept.
1.5k · May 2016
//I drown...
KittenJesus May 2016
Every time I try to climb
The depression settles in
My hole becomes deeper
The walls become steeper
Pain drags me down
Every time I try to climb
*I drown
read from top to bottom.
read from bottom to top.
read the last word of every line .
1.4k · Apr 2016
//Just breath
KittenJesus Apr 2016
deep breaths...
deep breaths...*
she repeats over
inside her mind,
scared that the
silent screams
in her head will
become louder
then that of the
grandfather clock
that tick-tocked in
the shadowy hallway.
1.3k · May 2016
//Deeper...
KittenJesus May 2016
The blade is the pen
the cuts are the words

each one getting deeper
until they bleed out my heart
1.1k · Apr 2016
//365 days With You
KittenJesus Apr 2016
It is now our
First year
Every second
Had been worth it
I love you, James
Thank you for popping
That question
One random
April 8th

<3
KittenJesus Apr 2016
Sweet some may describe it.
torn is how he would have.

Their love was far from this
perfect dream that everyone had
set into their heads.

But the tear
was sewn with
the poems she wrote
showing her love
giving him her all without
him even being aware.
for she deleted them before
they were ever seen by anyone
besides the computer an her own eye.
836 · May 2016
//Hello my name is Death
KittenJesus May 2016
As you grow older,
the sky will begin
to melt away as ice in a glass,
no matter how much
beauty you see,
eventually the world
around you will change
to a solid grey,
only shadows of color peek through;
yes its true,

as you get older
you soon shall meet me too.
KittenJesus Jul 2017
Is when he craves your hugs above kissing
Is when he holds your hand instead of your ***
Is when he wraps his arms around your waist while you're talking to a friend
Is when he tells he loves you even if your are mad at one another
Is when he respects when you say your aren't ready... No matter what the situation
Is when he teases you when you are when you are mad
Is when he kisses you softly as to reassure you
Is when he hugs you tightly even as people stare
Is when he looks at you from across a room and smiles
Is when he takes his time to tell you how much he loves you
Is when he talks on the phone to no one but you for hours on end
Is when he texts you more when he knows you're going through a painful situation
Is when he gets down on one knee
Not only in a public place. Nor in some alleyway
But in a way that will bet even your own wildest dreams
752 · May 2016
//Stained Pillowcase
KittenJesus May 2016
I am tired.
Tired of my eyes burning.
Burning with the salt.
Salt tears that stain my pillow.
As I drift asleep think about you.
And not because I wish you were there,
but because you weren't and never were
feedback is appreciated
749 · Apr 2016
//Questionable Dreams
KittenJesus Apr 2016
The dream was questionable.
A string of confusing events
annoying my brain
upon the dawn.
unsure if they were a worrying.
or if they should
be forgotten like
a flower on a grave.
KittenJesus Apr 2016
Start a chain

Overachiever
Show off
Teachers pet
"Winner"
"The best"
Attention seeker...
716 · Apr 2016
//It won't work on me
KittenJesus Apr 2016
Telling me to look at you
won't help me to look at me.

Telling me I can't do it
won't stop me from proving you wrong
696 · Jun 2016
//Who is "She"
KittenJesus Jun 2016
You'd never suspect anything behind
       her smile.
You'd never imagine anything behind
       her laugh.
You'd never dream of anything close to
       her thoughts.
You'd never worry about her as
       she worries about others.
You'd never think to look at the shadow behind
       her shimmering eyes.
You'd never get a chance to hear
      her silent screams.
You'd never understand the pain
       she has felt.
You will never know the true her,
       for she hides her from the world.
That is...

Everyone except me...

For I am...
                   she
694 · Jun 2016
//Shattered with Flames
KittenJesus Jun 2016
The fire began slowly
wrapping its tiny flames like pens around my ankles and wrist
silently growing by the inch flaming red
worked its way up my legs and arms.
Colliding with the others faster and faster by the second.
Consuming me in their thick ball of hate and hate.
Twisting around the last molecule of love and desire
buried deep, hidden out of sight, within the heart.
Slowly crumbling the trembling heart tearing into shreds within me.
Never to be the same again.
Now glowing
bright,
broken,
and shattered.
For all to see
KittenJesus Apr 2016
I'm crying once again because of you
I'm considering once again because of you
I'm dying for the first time because of you
KittenJesus May 2016
Forgetting* is not as easy as it's believe to be.
The truth about Forgetting
is like a knife jabbing
into your side staying there...
never to be taken out...
instead you heal around it...
with the possibility
of being hurt again
always there.
622 · May 2016
//I love you.
KittenJesus May 2016
I love you:
but I have to go,
this burning feeling you bring,
I no longer can take,
so here I go fading out the flame,
throwing up the ashes to the parade.
goodbye.
598 · Jul 2017
I am tired
KittenJesus Jul 2017
I am tried of always being the one blamed ...i am tired of saying I am sorry for being mad or sad I am tired of...just... being blamed for everything
I am tired of being the one everyone beats up on when they are mad just because I break so easily and apologize
598 · Apr 2016
//Life of soup
KittenJesus Apr 2016
Life is like a soup:
Add a dash of anger,
A pinch of happiness,
A sprinkle of caring,
A smidgen of luck,
and a whole jar of love.
560 · May 2016
//Everlasting Summer
KittenJesus Apr 2016
Is it wrong to want to put my arms around your waist
Is it wrong to want to stare into your eyes
Is it wrong to want to kiss your hand
Is it wrong to want to push your hair out of your eyes
Is it wrong to want these things.
Is it okay if I do these things.
And show you how it feels when you do these to me.
Is it wrong to love you
Is it okay to be in love with you
And show you that I love you most
542 · Oct 2017
you did this to us
538 · Nov 2016
//... I do
KittenJesus Nov 2016
Why cant I fix what is broken
Can I not dream of a better way
Even if so how can I fix it
When it is I who keeps it broken
I feel like i am breaking.... snapping... I don't know what to do... I am loosing everyone
KittenJesus Jun 2016
!!!FEEDBACK FOR FEEDBACK!!!
Please read my poems and give back Feedback

!I WILL RETURN THE FAVOR!

for EACH poem you comment on
I will do the SAME for yours

COMMENT BELOW how many you did
the feedback you will recive will not be one word.
your work will be read and I will comment at least one sentence of feedback!
THIS IS NOT A SCAM I PROMISE
I just want to grow as a writer and need feedback
*hence why I began publishing my work*
518 · Apr 2016
//Sorry.
KittenJesus Apr 2016
When you say sorry...

I don't question why because
I want to know the answer.

It's because I want to know
Which reason is your answer.
502 · Jun 2016
//Song of the Keys (ASDF)
KittenJesus Jun 2016
"Anxiety, Sorrow, Depression, Fear"

Written by 'Others'

Performed by 'Me'
look at your keybored
484 · Apr 2016
//Breezeblocks
KittenJesus Apr 2016
I can't take it anymore I punch the wall
Realizing that one brick shakes loose
with little effort to my weak damaged arms

I take my fingers and wiggle them within the crack
Maneuvering it out of its place in the basement wall

I grab a old off white rag I as walk silently throughout
The dark resting house
The only one awake at the wee hours of the morn
But I am the only one who needs to be awake
Until they wake up ... Then I will be the only one asleep

I turn the cold creaky faucet on
Allowing thick streams of clear water to rush
Into the bathtub
Placing the rag deep into the pipes

As I hear the water sound fade I pull out the note
I have had in my pocket for weeks... On it
One name. His. 

He is the only one that I would have tried to stay for.
But I place the note on the broken mirror

I look over to see the water is high enough
I grab the breezeblock off the carpeted floor.
I feel the cold water embed itself around my limbs.
I feel the breezeblock crush into my chest
I feel the burn in my lungs
I feel the dizziness in my head
I can't move
I feel the burn in my lungs
I feel the dizziness in my head
I can't move
I can feel the dizziness in my head
I can feel the burn in my lungs
*I can't ...
KittenJesus Apr 2016
Being able to see you
is the only thing
that keeps me
from leaving like she did

You think she left
because you were '****** up'
But the truth is
she left you because she wanted you
Not even in a twisted way
she just wanted

-your hand to hold
-your lips to kiss
-your heart to fix
468 · May 2016
//Web
KittenJesus May 2016
A web of streets
that I have visited;
all mapped
upon my wrist.
438 · May 2016
//When will you learn
KittenJesus May 2016
I cry.
I get scared.
I worry.
I try.
I say sorry.
And if you do not
learn those things
I will leave.
434 · Dec 2016
flower
KittenJesus Dec 2016
Sometimes I just need to scream
to be heard and loud
yet the delicate of the world
would snap under the sound
...should I care
probably
but when is everything else become more important
then the shame, scared, and sorrow I feel
KittenJesus Apr 2016
How can I be true to myself
When I'm always being forced to change
Under your hand
I was never perfect
And I will never be good enough
How can I believe I am beautiful.
When all you told me was lies
Even if I try to believe you
I can never believe myself
How can I be happy
When I can't even smile at my present
Look forward to my future
And always live in the past
412 · May 2016
//With you...
KittenJesus May 2016
I fear everything
Whereas you fear nothing
Maybe that is why
When I'm with you
I feel free.
I finally feel safe enough
To be me.
Because whatever happens
You will know what to do.
I will trust you.
And you will trust me.
I will protect you from death
While you protect me from fear.
And together We will be free.
Please give feedback
KittenJesus Apr 2016
I tell you I love you all the time
but if I accidentally over read
the one slim chance you say it first suddenly you are upset

how can you not tell that what you are doing
in that moment
is what you have always feared
you would one day do

you are starting to drag me down

the proof is the stained pillow wedged under my head
that is being strangled by my hands

but yet
you wouldn't be able to tell that you are the cause

because even if its you that caused them.
I refuse to let you apologize

yet I voluntarily
blame myself
even if nothing
is wrong

so this is my cue to say

"no sweetie, I'm fine.
This isn't your fault, I'm just tired.
I love you and I'm sorry"
406 · Jun 2016
//Tomorrow Sorrow
KittenJesus Jun 2016
I'm tired of saying sorry
It feels like that is all I ever do
But it's the only thing that feels right
Maybe even tonight
You will be sorry too...
KittenJesus Jun 2016
I waited all day for just a simple
Conversation
And even that wish didn't come true.
So sorry if I am upset and make you feel bad.
But you deserve it, love.
Cause from now on.
I don't wish for
Your time.
I wish to be alone.
394 · May 2016
//To Love...
KittenJesus May 2016
To love is like someone saying
they wont hurt you.
For a second
you believe them,
but you know that
they will leave,
they will cheat,
they will no longer love you.
however
you only truly
learn the meaning of
love when you are
alone.
392 · Jun 2016
//All to Form
KittenJesus Jun 2016
The bruises
The cuts
The blood
All intertwining
to form my waist
all to form my hips
all to form my wrist
all to form my stomach
All to form me
391 · Jun 2016
Tonight i learned
KittenJesus Jun 2016
Tonight I learened
What I really mean to you
That without me you would be like her (dead).

Tonight I learned
What really goes on
When I thought you were ignoring me (death).

Tonight I learned
What happened to you
And why you are thinking of leaving (goodbye).

Tonight I learned
What it means to be in love
(mine).
329 · Nov 2016
//why...how...
KittenJesus Nov 2016
Why am I such a ***** up
why do I always fail
how can I tear up the world
when it isn't even in my hand
why cant I... live
as the people on TV
is it that fake of a "reality"
I NEED TO SCREAM
329 · Apr 2016
//Color of the Blind
KittenJesus Apr 2016
The color
was undefined.
The description
was unimaginable.
This was the color of the blind.
A deserted black.
Shadow-less sky,
an eerie brightness
that always seemed
to pierce painfully
at the darkest
of nights.
I am not blind, so I am going off what I imagine the feeling would be.
325 · Apr 2016
//Meant to die
KittenJesus Apr 2016
How hard is to want to try?
Can it help me fly high?
Is it as easy as wanting to die?

May I jump and sail through the sky?
Shall I press the knife against my thigh?
Will it imply?

*That I was meant to die.
324 · May 2016
//Mistakes...
KittenJesus May 2016
You make enough small mistakes
everntually they build to make a wall
of mistakes that overtake
even the largest of all
Suggestions??
322 · May 2016
//Alone on exam day
KittenJesus May 2016
I am alone.
Even with you right here.
I am alone.
Because I am gone.
Even with you right here
319 · May 2016
//No Longer Cared
KittenJesus May 2016
You kept me away from them for years
but when you should have kept me away the most
is the day I no longer cared
If the trigger was pulled
If the noose slipped
If the blade went too deep
If the life you had protected
finally shattered.
316 · Nov 2016
//BAM...
KittenJesus Nov 2016
Her beautiful red lips
brought a peaceful bliss
to his last breath...
I am in class and got my friend to give
me three words so I could write a poem and
the three she gave were "Beautiful, red, and peaceful"...
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