Wide smiles swinging
Amid the automated bodies;
A dance amongst friends
- We're having the greatest time.
As they ask, you whisper:
Thanks, I'm fine.

Perverted eyes undoing my words
******* my thoughts
Unravelling my meaning.
Provocitively I dance on the page
Searching for your validation
.
What did you find?

Digging in dirt
The stick breaks
Under Atlas's weight.
The tunnel
         To the opposite
                      End of the earth.
Breath on pause
Pupils dilate
.
A 2 inch hole
Overgrown; Canopied
With muddied roots
Solitarty prison lines
Never stop
          Swinging axes
          Unsettling
green shoots
.
Childish dreams
Of breaking free
Halted only
.
By me

If the clock hands could talk
About the speed of time
They'd mention the blue swing
And the laughter
And how quickly it broke
The clock hands would whisper
About homework gathering dust
Windows sliding open
And sneaking to the park
When the clock hands flew by
In a drunken haze
I woke coldly on the floor
And they slowed to a stop
The hands struck loudly then
Echoing

If the clock hands were honest
About the seconds they skipped
Then days, even years
Fell away without notice
As the clock hands now gaze
At a face that grows lines
They shudder
Then slowly flick back
Resting somewhere between 12 and 1

There's the exit door
Handle-less

Insects at dusk
Fidget in the corn
I stare across the ears
At the stillness.
- The momentary peace -
Composure, marred only
By the thump of my heart

The birds and the trees
The hum of fields
Heat lines on corn
They're never enough.

Thick paint on paper
Strumming guitar strings
Dances at dusk
They're never enough

Toes on sand
Stares at the horizon
Floating in the abyss

Humdrum routines
With boundary lines
Leaning at the edge
The voices in my head
Whisper "it's just not enough"

Wind chills
Wet cheeks
I watch them fly
Watch them flock
In murmuration.
Together.
.
Agrophobia clutches
At my dress
As I trace their outlines.
I hold the handrail
I am, tethered.
Sideways glance
Sideways steps
A fly trapped
In a bell jar.
Biting tongue
Tongue tied
Whispers shouting
"Stay where you are!"
.
Heavy throat
Heavy heart
Watch them soar
Stare in envy
The murmuration.

You seem to ignore
The swollen air
That floods my lungs tonight
.
There's a heavy barrier -
An ocean reef -
That I pick at with my fingers
.
My tongue trips
On uneasy words to say
Hold me here
And we will pretend
That we are all okay

Come - Brave this slow dance
Shuffle slowly to the beat
.
Long are the days
Of high powered jazz
Smiles and trumpet bands
Of tiptoe dancing
Over the concrete rooftops
.
You make your own music now
Listen to yourself
Try to dance in time
Try hard not to fall

The clock beats
In a slow dance
The sound, reverberating,
In my ears
The world's in slow-motion
Circling and revolving
Around me.
Without me.
The ticking,
Drumming at my skull,
Reminds me to move.
.
I start to shuffle.

Into the salt my body floats
Floatsam licks at my arms
Blackness beneath
Sand at my back,
                       rocks at my lungs
Water pours into my mouth and down my throat
Silent in the roaring abyss
Rock me gently to sleep?
I've become the waves, become the sea
   A drop of water against the might of the tide
Close my tired eyes and fade.

Into the wind a lonely gull hovers
Wings flap against the current
You. You call out through the thick air
You are deafening.
You are deafened.
   You search for crumbs
              Picking pieces off the surf.

Humming silent calmness
The gentle breeze over empty fields
Birds biting their tongues
Stillness in turmoil

Hateful deafening calm
Breath screaming into the wind
Feet covered by the dust coated earth
Uncomfortable by the peace

This silly little poem
          Gives flight to silly wings
                        I soar into the distance
A chain trailing at my feet
.
They tied me to the lighthouse
                  It's beam searching the footwall
My pen begins to waiver
.
The bird begins to fall
.
Near the rocks I'll stay
Crowing to the abyss
          Calling with my heart
And hear the echo fly offbeat
.
And so my poem waits
Without a place to go
Patiently I'm caged
.
Until the raven
                 breaks down walls.

Without a compass
The starling flew
To a renewed lease of life
.
Dragging wounded memories
Convoluted through time

Morning mildew
Soaks my toes
Susseration
          cloaks the fields
We smile
Giddy on memories
From the night before.

Alone, I walk with you
Your breath on my ear
The breeze at my back.
.
My tongue, stripped of eloquence
Hears only you
As I try to force words
Into existence
.
The rooks are in the trees
Their hyena laughs
Whisper in my mind
Waiting to throw me out
.
Silent to the world
I hear only you.