I have no words, words that could change…
How life works for us or mistakes that we make…
We don’t really fit, in everyday human life,
We are but people, standing by the road signs.
We have no clear path or a destination to reach,
We try our hardest, just to get some kind of appeal.
The lackeys, the misfits, the weird looking ones,
The special, the crazy, the one’s that always give up:
We won’t stop loving, moving ahead,
We can’t change anything, but we will try our best.
We won’t always be happy, but we know how to cheer,
For all of the misfits, that we find out there.

I remember being five,
Just learned how to read.
I barely got words right
But it kept my mom happy.

I didn’t like books,
They were scary to me.
But then I picked this one up,
From a shelf that was dusty.

And old leather cover,
Torn and abused.
This book was through war,
Through many boxes that moved.

I felt like Indiana Jones,
Discovering something new.
This book was so foreign,
Yet so close to my home.

I opened it up, peered at what’s inside,
Old pages, faded colors, letters that sighed.
I started reading the stories,
Escaping to worlds.

Where witches ate children,
Two brothers hunted for trolls.
There were turtles racing,
Foxes that schemed.

Big castles with princes,
Towers with wizards inside.
A genie, a prophet,
A tyrant to rule the land.

I was lost in those pages,
In the many worlds of dismay,
So colorful, so heavenly,
I think I shall open it today…

I sat in the closest park to my ****** neighborhood,
It had few benches, some grass and I think roses too…
It was fairly boring really, close to the road…
It had few ducks in the pond that stopped to grow…
People said it was so beautiful, so full of life,
I only saw the dying of any kind of light.
I remember once, I saw a couple there,
They were old, ancient, yet they sat there…
On an old rusty bench that started to smell,
They sat there, told each other of times they shared.
When their skin was not dry and the lights hadn’t died,
When the trees were just blooming and the ducks still grooming.
When their hears were still young and barely touched,
That’s when they said of how much they loved.
I smiled at them, knowing I was once again wrong.
The park wasn’t that terrible as I have told.

I like dreaming about pointless and foolish things,
Like ever green plains with tress as far as the eye can see.
I want to think that I can get away from being wrong,
From being in pain and feeling so afraid of every little thing.
I feel like I will never be the same as I once was,
When I was little with my little ideas and fun.
I remember dreaming of giants, knights and kings.
Protecting the kingdom from very evil things.
Exploring the deep ocean, creating a cure,
Making people happy with a stupid slur.
I remember dreaming of being clearly heard,
My wishes granted and my hopes unfold.
Things were so better, when I was just six,
I didn’t have to learn how to deal with human-ish things.
Now I feel pressure and stress, loneliness build up,
Soon I will probably break and declare that I am once again stuck.
I will continue to chase my hopes and my dreams,
Protecting them from the eyes that don’t believe.
I hope I will prevail, to save this burning kingdom of mine,
Hope I don’t get eaten by a dragon of the mind.

I don’t need much, I really don’t,
I survived and been well on so much less.
But now that I tasted, a small bit of it,
Could you give all you’ve got, be my everything?
I want you to ask me, how I am today,
You know the answer well but just ask for the hell of it.
I really want you, to say something nice,
Something sweet to make it all right.
Do you mind, me sitting quietly right there?
Where you can hear me breath and sniffle the air.
But do you know, that on the other side, I am not okay…
I am crying and breaking and simply fading away?
I sat there crying, saying be right back…
Can you just ask me, why I act like that?

I don’t believe in fancy words,
In promises that it won’t hurt.
I don’t believe I’m good enough,
Or even slightly above the stupid bunch.
I don’t believe in your okay’s
Or all the times you said it’ll turn out great.
I don’t believe in my ability to speak,
To make others understand and feel.
I don’t believe in a happy ending,
Because I live in envy and hate.
I don’t believe that I will ever be just okay.
But somehow I found a bigger idiot than me,
Who for some reason started to believe
I don’t know what, you see in me.
But be sure I’m glad, that you believe in me.