Its all in or all out
There is no in between
Only twenty percent
Really know what i mean
You can lie with the dogs
That are snoring in hell
Or get up off your ***
It's your soul that you sell
I go up I go down
But its always the same
Now I sit in this room
And i'm wracking my brain
With the what and the why
Do I do what I do
Why I cant take the blame
And i;m pointing at you

I don’t stop
When I cop
All this rock
In my hand
Or I chill
With a pill
And I’m
Noddin again
All this ****
I agree
Is my way to get by
And the molly
Good golly
Helps me Find
Reasons why
LSD
***
Now I’m in
Outer space
Then a shot
Watch the clock
Always loosing
The race
All this ***
A new Ex
And I don’t
Really care
Life in hell
My own cell
And I don’t
Think it’s fair
As I walk through
This storm
And I scream
Out in pain
Like a weight
Pushin down
Someone else
In my brain
Always holdin
Me back
Whispers that
I’m insane
Never up
Always down
Like I’m playin
A game
With the odds
And the scales
Tippin further
Away
Still I walk
And I talk
Like I think
That I know
But I’m really
As blind
As a fool
In the snow

Here in this place
I stand on my own
All by myself
Yet still not alone

Where do I turn
At this crossroad
“I wonder”
A storms brewing now
Lightning breeds thunder

East come the rain
The pain of this place
Razor like hailstones
Tearing my face

West flashes lightning
Booming with thunder
Making me shiver
Puzzled I wonder

South I feel evil
Yet pleasure it be
Beckoning to me
Pulling at me

North comes a vision
That fills up the sky
Overflowing with love
And everlasting life

The fall leaves dance upon the wind
A spiral of excitement
A chill blows shivers up and down
The air breathes heavy silence

A wisp of cold crisp winters breath
Bring vibrant colored sounds
A sky of marbled purple hues
Connect the heavens to the ground

Outstretching sky of speechless beauty
Brushed with strokes of life
Scents and colors fill the air
As day bows down to night

As the twilight washes over
One by one it all appears
The endless destinations
On a sea of time revealed

Every time I get on
It’s like rollin the dice
I just wanted it once
But I still did it twice
All these days roll on by
Like a flash of the light
But I’m still ****** here
On the edge of a knife
I just wish I could stop
But I still want to go
So I run to the edge
Till I can’t run no more
I live like I think
And I think like I don’t
As my mind swirls around
So don’t think that I won’t
Turn around and smack down
Or just choke on your throat
Cuz I don’t ****** care
So don’t think it’s a joke
I have nothing to lose
You have nothing to gain
So just back the **** up
For I show you insane
On the edge I will sit
Till the ending of time
I will never give up
Till I get what is mine

Alone appears
Familiar decent
Captivating
Long regret

Upon the night
The whisper calls
A beckoning
Invites the fall

Thoughts revealing
Long gone pain
The banishment
Began again

I watched the slip
Control the fall
Did nothing
To resist at all

I watched it grow
And take control
Upon a string
I dance alone

Awakened pride
As I look back
Too late now
Off the track

Its all ok
Its just one more
Stronger now
Bad luck before

I'm all I need
Just stay away
Your tongues of fire
Run run away

You don't know
How this feels
This inner pain
This broken wheel

Just get away
From deep inside
A little voice
Run run and hide

Thoughts controlled
The inner pain
The banishment
Completes the ring

I woke up last night crying
From a long lost dream of you
I thought that I’d forgotten
But I guess it’s still too soon

I remember how I loved you
All the times we spent alone
I never saw an ending
Never thought you would be gone

Those days are all behind me
But the memories still clear
Of the love we shared together
And the dreams that we did share

You are forever with me
In my dreams our love survives
Although were not together
I hold you close for all of time

I went to where
I shouldn’t go
I went there
Even though I know

The grass was sweeter
So it seemed
But the other side
Hides in deceit

I traveled over
No way home
Illusions gone
Now all alone

The painful truth
Is now revealed
With flesh is sin
And hell is real

As sweeter taste
Of dreams subside
I  savor only
Sour times

Again regret
I must endure
Self-broken
Heart forevermore

The inquiry still
Puzzle me
Again I ask
How can this be

How many times
I’ve been a fool
I’ve drank upon
This poison pool

I see no ending
To this pain
I’ve lost all hope
Lost all refrain

I woke alone in heartache
A place I never want to be
My feelings turn against me
My soul begins to bleed

My teardrops feel like winter rain
Yet burn my eyes like fire
The pain feeds, Tearing endlessly
Killing every wish, desire

A hopeless state of consequence
I never ever want to feel
My inner light is faulting
Please God make this unreal

Waves and waves of cold despair
Are thrashing through my soul
My mind aloft with final thoughts
My heart collects its toll

Is this pain I feel
A test or curse
Will it make me a man
Or something far far far worse

I try not to show it
It hides way inside
I cannot control it
It eats me alive

I dare not show weakness
I have to push on
Yet don’t have the power
To stand on my own

So I hide in the shadows
Away from the light
The darkness brings comfort
I live for the night

I wrap in a blanket
Of lies and deceit
I wear many masks
To hide the defeat

Nightmares haunt
My waking hours
Evil voices sing

Raindrops cloud
Unearthly visions
Darkness hides unseen

Moonlight seeking
Hallowed places
Darkness smothers light

Madness laughing
Prayers unanswered
Lost within the night

Empty feelings
Broken soul
Abandonment of hope

Children crying
Fear consuming
Fog revealing smoke

Evil chants
Bring heavy silence
Revealing the unseen

Deep dark secrets
Mystic places
Everything unclean

I’m not the one
To dry you’re tears
I’m not the one
To hold you near
I’m not the one
To calm you down
I’m not the one
To turn your frowns
I’m not the one
I’ve kissed your feet
I’m not the one
I won’t repeat
I’m not the one
To take the blame
I’m not the one
To hide the shame
I’m not the one
Who’s on your side
You’re the one
Who did decide
I’m not the one
To share your life
I’m not the one
Goodbye Goodnight

Gleaming chrome
Reflecting skin
Revving up
Climb on in

Leather seats
Lay Em back
Open wide
Commence attack

Engine screaming
Round the turn
Oil and sweat
Bodies’ burn

Pistons thrusting
Up and down
Primal screams
Rumbling sounds

Friction building
Perfect time
Checkered flag
Cross the line

This life I lead
These paths I follow
Sometimes run deep
Sometimes grow shallow

All through the muck
And murky mallow
Reveals a dark
Disturbing hallow

From whence it came
Begins again
Alone   Alone
Not nare a friend

I scream to heavens
Holies past
Who curses thee
Whose fist has wrath

With nare a sound
Or slight response
Again begins
My hellish haunt

As I put down this pen
To this pad and I write
All the feelings just flow
Like the stars in the night
All the fear and the anger
The guilt and the shame
Though it cuts like a knife
It releases the pain
So I bleed and the blood
Freely flows from my soul
All the lyrics come out
And I have no control
And I can’t tell you why
Cuz I don’t understand
How it all just appears
With this pen in my hand
It’s a curse but it’s not
At the very same time
It’s my brain it won’t stop
So on to the next line
It’s a skill that I have
That is freeing my soul
And I’ll use it until
I’m far down in a hole

Somewhere in the darkest night
An innocent was crying
Beyond the reach of holy light
A believers slowly dying

The cries go out, But don’t return
Then slowly fade away
A silent whisper, fills the air
All hope begins to fade

Their faith dissolves into the dark
Loyalties for sale
Worshiping whoever will
Rescue them from this peril

The angels cry, And sing out loud
Hopelessly aware
The power of the holy light
Beyond the reach of this despair

All alone with waivered faith
The midnight hours creeping
A child alone just out of reach
The enemy awakens

Fear creates a wanton hole
That evil quickly fills
Removing all the loneliness
A false promise now revealed

Forever is a lonely place
Time offers no forgiveness
Like a drip ,,Again ,,Again
It slowly turns to madness

Unfolding everlasting change
Back and forth returning
Unending themes appearing
Silent voices still conversing

Imagination building
On a sea of shifting time
Thoughts unbound and flowing
Approaching the divine

Crystal spirits laughing
Unforgiving hallowed ground
Distant sights revealing
Smelling silence in the sound

Flowing to eternity
Neither here nor there
Amazing destinations
Thoughts cloudy although clear

I look at this blank page
I see nothing there
So I start to fill spaces
Between all the air

And then I did wonder
If it truly was me
That filled in the spaces
That lie in between

Or where all the spaces
Already there
And I only traced them
To make them appear

I know it sounds crazy
But what if its true
That all is prewritten
Everything that we do

And every step taken
Is merely a print
That’s only revealed
When we step upon it

When I look back at my story
When I was very very young
I was given no direction
I often stared up at the sun

I tried to find the answers
Without a question on my mind
I searched through pain and suffering
Never read a single sign

I worshiped only pleasure
And it always paired with pain
I thought I’d learned a lesson
But I’m right back here again

I robbed, I stole and cheated
Thinking only of myself
I never cared for others
All for me and no one else

I projected my reflection
Saw an evil sinful world
Everything around me
Caused my peril to unfurl




Then I stood upon a crossroads
I was a broke and tired man
With no home or destination
Nowhere was a helping hand

Then I looked upon the life I lead
And the things that I had done
And I thought about that little boy
Who would stare up at the sun

And I wondered what would happen
If I had another try
If I had someone to show me
How to live a better life

How to love a little better
How to spend a little time
Making other people happy
Never caring what was mine

Not to worry about the money
Do away with foolish pride
Take some time to smell the flowers
Truly find the reasons why





Find a God of understanding
Ask Him who I really am
Stretch my hand out to a brother
Be the one to lend a hand

It was then I got a feelin
One I’ve never had before
The answer I’d been searching for
Was standing at my door

He reached his hand out to uplift me
I rose a strong but humble man
Now all the things that brought me down
Where now my armor to defend

As I looked upon this crossroads
From a different point of view
My life now had a meaning
I felt empowered by the truth

The fear and pain have left me
I can help my fellow man
I truly think that little boy
Would be proud of who I am

I came here today, To tell you a tale
A story of convicts, Of prisons and jails
I speak of a man, Who when in a pinch
Will turn on his friends, They call him
THE SNITCH
I remember that day, That we lie in our bunks
And I told him a story, Of how I got drunk
I drove way down town, I was feeling quite ill
I stopped POPS the hopper, And bought me a pill
I stepped on the gas, And sped out of town
I ran through a light, And I mowed a man down
In a couple of days, Sergeant McKIRK McGURDER
Dragged me to court, For a new charge of ******
The Judge slammed the gavel, With a sneer gave out time
My sentence then grew, Nine hundred times nine
It didn’t take long, To figure what happened
When that punk in my cell, Was soon granted full pardon
My anger grew stronger, But I’d nothing but time
I waited and waited, Revenge
Would be mine
Then came the day, We met in the shower
With fear in his eyes, He started to cower
He knew in his heart, The time had arrived
My shiv it sank deep, In his side nineteen times
So the moral I tell you, Is don’t be a *****
Cuz it’s always the end, For the one called
THE SNITCH

My mind it just will not stop
It wakes me just to torture
From now to then up and down
The past becomes the future

I never seem to get a break
From dusk to dawn I tumble
I walk within the morning mist
My mind forever mumbles

It always seems I’m searching
For a place that I can hide
But never can I run away
From self voices deep inside

My happiness is locked away
In the darkest of the night
I chip away unendingly
To bring it to the light

The music plays
And I remember
The times we had
The times we never

Got to see
The other side
Although we wanted
But never tried

To find a way
To walk as one
Yet love fell like
The setting sun

Rise again
But not this way
Will I walk
Until the day

I walk with you
Into the night
And hold you till
The morning light

A window shows
Me many things
As I look out
It stares back in

An icy frost
Morning dew
A summer breeze
I think of you

The nighttime stars
Destroyed at dawn
Leaves of fall
A violent storm

A purple sky
The sun at noon
Reflections of
The autumn moon

The heavy rain
And rolling fog
A rainbow smiles
To end it all

Today i met an angel
Who fell out of the sky
Her wings were badly damaged
Full of teardrops in her eyes

She thought her soul was broken
She thought she was alone
But other fallen angels
Surrounded her with love

As time went by the wings returned
And all the teardrops dried
The beauty and the glow reborn
With magic in her eyes

She rose above the demons
Left them far behind
Renewal of the spirit
On new wings began to fly

The shadows cast
A somber glow
The sounds drift
Into silence

The air hangs
Heavy, Hauntingly
My heart skips
With excitement

The moon shines
Bright upon the scene
I feel as one
The dark and me

A creature’s howl
Cuts through the air
My eyes reflect
An eerie tale

As clouds obscure
The winter moon
The wind doth play
Unholy tunes

I woke upon a moonlit night
The stars seemed never ending
A slight breeze blew across my face
I sighed and then imagined

I wonder if you gaze upon
The same stars that I see
I wonder if you look above
And sometimes, Think of me

Sometimes it feels like you are here
Or maybe I am there
Even darkened stormy days
I feel we are together

As days go by I think of you
And wonder where you are
I stare upon the moonlit sky
And wish upon a star

I dream of being with you
Till that day I walk alone
With heavy heart and cloudy eyes
Awaiting your return