Should I die before you, forgive me
Forgive my absent shoulder for your head
For my ears hearing not your cries
For my arms too numb to hold you

Should I die before you, forgive me
Forgive my image for slipping through your mind
For my voice for echoing to silence
Forgive my heart for not beating more for you

Should I die before you, forgive me
Forgive me for shattering our future plans  
For turning our happy places into ghost towns
For taking your happiness to the grave with me

Should I die after you, I forgive you.

No, it’s not true
I’m not trying to change you
I just want you to see
You are most beautiful at your natural state
Your extensions blur your crown
Your powder and paint distort your beauty
It blinds not only I but you to your esteem
No, it’s not true
I’m not trying to demean you
I just want you to see
If they make you so beautiful and empowered
Why do you wipe it off for me and put it on for them?
Do you hate me that much that I’m to look at the ugly you?
If you can’t see who you are, who should?

I love you, you love me
I think
I see you, you see me
I think
I miss you, you miss me
I doubt
I am yours, you are mine
I ...

Sometimes you are
Abstracted
Ever present
Extremely vocal
So reticent

Honestly I am being unfair
Those are my thoughts
Not my reality
I think
I know You'll never hurt me
I think

Sometimes I am
Abstracted
So reticent
Confused

Ever since I met you
I’ve been experimenting with new drugs
Searching for a new high
I found one at the sound of your voice
The vibrations of your voice
Beats the drums in my ears ever so gently
I hear nothing except you
At its absence
The membranes of my drums tighten and sound a tone deaf
Hoping it reaches you and you speak to me
The second high I felt when you touched me
That new high gave me a pleasant numbing sensation
When I touched you back
It felt as if I’m reaching out to the universe, touching beauty at its purest form
Away from your touch my skin feels dry and wrinkled
Everything I touch feels rough and itchy
My skin longs for your touch
My lips are as dry as the desert
Nothing nourishes them
Kiss me, they say; In a trembling faint voice
I close my eyes to picture perfectly every high I felt from you.
That gives me a fix to wait a little bit longer
I hear you approaching, my eardrums beat greater and more lively
I feel your radiant beauty drawing close
I open my eyes and;
My greatest high comes from when I see you.

Child of the soil, they call themselves
Yet they walk on a pedestal so high
Their feet has no dust
I’m the child of the soil
They say with voices causing tremors on the ground
Yet Their feet are buried on the cushion of clouds
I’m the child of the soil
They say chanting they’re clan names
Yet they know not the ground their great parents lay
I’m the child of the soil
Yet they are not rooted in it
Easily tossed around and misplaced they lay
The ground lays barren
The amazons once envied their homeland
Now, they are just a wasteland
Yet, they are children of the soil

I admit, I am a cleft man
Torn between laughter and sorrow
My laughter is like a cherry blossom tree
Beautiful, bringing forth smiles and calm
In a blink of an eye my leaves and fruits fall and rot
Dissociable I become, bringing forth disgust and flies.
Bare as I am, I give no shade - leaving my love to feel the  scorch
I bear fruit for you and the soil beneath me
Is it the death in life that I fear or the life in death?
How dare I lament my past on par as the future ?
I am without words, just letters clotting in my every being
If I never say goodbye, be  joyful in my hello

They don't understand, no they don't
It's not that high, maybe from where you are
From the hole that I'm in, it is
It's not just the height, it's also the depth that I'm in

They don't understand, no they can't
It's not that deep, yes, from your comfort it's not.
It's so deep and dark I can't see the supposed ladder Infront of me
They don't understand, maybe they will never .

Maybe it's all an excuse, maybe it's not that deep
Maybe it's not that high and I can reach out
Maybe my hands aren't that crooked that I can hold on
Maybe my feet aren't that broken that I can stand and walk
Maybe my heart isn't shutting down
Maybe I'm not drifting out of consciousness.
Maybe just maybe I'm not dead

Stay positive you said
                                         This copse lives

Sitting here in dusty  clothes
Wondering why you pushed
I thought you loved me
So you said but here
Here I am with scrapped elbows
I didn't fall out of love, I was pushed out

The fallout of this betrayal poisons all memories
How are you to remain an angel in my sight ?
Bruised knees and knuckles are  what I get
What I undeservingly get  protecting your heart from
the fall
The push I mean,
I didn't fall out of love, I was pushed out

You broke more than my heart
How do I pick myself up  with these broken hands
Swollen ankles that can't withstand this heavy heart
Swollen eyes that can't see past this
And hope for the future that got lost during the fall
I mean the push,
I didn't fall out of love ,  I was pushed out

You pushed me out of love
I still wonder why

Leafs leave branches unwillingly
Dry and withered they become
They long for the connection they lost

A new leave grows in its stance
Jealously dying at the sight of new leafs
One with the ground they become

That fate looms near to me
Don't ask me to let you go
Let me go or hold on as tight as I you
Fall with me and we will be the bough

Shade siting , escaping scorching rays.
A book in hand, words reanimating  visuals.
The scent of pages drowned in tears,
They are different of course. Bitter is the scent of sorrow, few are the drenches of joy.
Past words coming to life, old life lived anew.
Lost words are found, though plain words are lost in interpretation.
This inked paper offers an escape.
Return I will, not now but the end.  
Let time tick till it sets,
While words tock to infinite.

I am thankfully  fortunate  
Though i owe thou.  
A sober kiss thou deserve
Though Methinks its impossible,
Thy presence intoxicates me
I am thankful

I am happily thankful  
Thy touch
Grants  angels hands shame
Thy aroma
Fives air its freshness
I am  fortunate  

I am somber
I am misplaced from thy presence
I am regretful
I canst not until beam
Yet,
I am  fortunate
                                                                       That i wot thou

excess rusted broken  shackles
free from ancient gyves
tongues in dungeons no more
a present prisoner of forefather's  measures

ears drum no more
notes fall through the cracks
remodeling skips yet another age
future slavers of our descendants

emancipated you stand
a guests to a freeman's  world
you are no more
return us to the future
free from the present past.

                                   In mirrored minds we remain.

Once through we passed
How young we were
At old the tunnel swallowed us
Weep not for us

Once again we shall pass
How young we are
At old the tunnel will swallow us
As birth did  before
Weep not for us

Endlessly life cycles
Butterfly from Caterpillar  
Caterpillar  from womb
Weep not for us

Thundering claps and steps
Roaring screams of joy
once again welcomes us
To a world anew
Rejoice for us

Victory is but a loss
We live our lives in a hunt
Hoping to catch the Lightning Bird
In our success of catching it, what is it,
That which we gain except the loss of adventure

Victory is but a suffering
We live our lives as servants of corpses
Hoping to live before we die
We search for people and moments
That make us feel alive, but when we find them
We suffer the loss of knowing we were alive all along

Victory is but an illusion

When dogs catch the car
What do they do?

Get away from me
Your presence repulses me
With all honesty
When I said
I meant hold me

I hate you
You make me feel the worst
Truth of the matter is
When I said
I meant I love you

You annoy me
I regret ever saying yes
With overflowing truth
When I said
I meant thank you for choosing me

I promise
To keep you
To live for us
To care about your interests
To be yours and only yours
When I said
I meant it

Her touch
Makes us feel sonder
Completely will we know it?
regardless of the outcome
We are happy

Her presences
Puts I in the state of liberosis
all insecurities and fear
Dissolve to dust and free I am
We are happy

In her absence
Feeling of monochopsis
Drowns my thoughts and I
In her memory
We are happy

At the  end of day
Unsaid words lurk
Unstirred feelings float
We are not happy

I wish
So begins the words of a lazy and an uneventful being.
Lacking true actions and follow ups to the stars promised.

I wish
so says a being stuck in the past of the present.
With eyes shut and Ignorant of the gift of now.

I wish
so are the words belonging to an untrustworthy being.
Who says I failed because my wish came false.

I do not wish

Mornings were once sweet
Sweetened by her voice
A smile inducing voice
How dull today is

Her beauty took possession of my eyes
Made me shyly look at the floor at her presence
Her walk collapses my jaw

How cruel she is
She  robbed me off my voice
Rendering me speechless
How cruel she is
Refusing to use her profession to cure my speech
So that I may talk past hello.

It's better to face darkness
With eyes closed
Than to face light with eyes wide open
My hope shyly hides
Praying for the return of light
My fears peacefully rest
In the absence of light

I hear spiders crawling
A buzz of bees behind my ears
They don’t scare me
Not more than the flickering light I see
It draws me out of darkness
Raising resting hopes and dreams

The surrounding darkness is peaceful
The light shows friendly hurting faces
I find comfort in the ignorance of who hurt me
Torture in the sight of friend

Blame not the demon for tearing me down
But the angel for not offering a hand
The buried see and weep
The live do not and  rejoice

Forgive me if I stare
Your celestial body is alluring

The beauty of your eyes,
rob me of words to say
The warmth of your smile, paralyzes my hands so I can’t sign

Forgive me for yearning for you,
For having you is forbidden.
My eyes see you as Juliet to the Romeo I am,
Forgive me, for the sin we are yet commit.

Forgive my mind for losing restraint at the striking site of you,
I stare at your lips, and my mouth gets watery at the wonder of it’s taste.

Oh blessed river, forgive