What is is to live alone?
What is it to lose?
Why does my mind fight?
How deep it is to feel unknown...
To lose the depth of relating
To find the depths of self-relating
To look up from the floor below
I sink further still
I am striving to know my grass is green
just where I am and try to glean
To see that I am whole without
The thing I made my life about
Easier said than done
Why does it seem that
Honesty is known when we
Are not in known crowds
Honesty is easiest when those you are being honest to will never meet you
Aimless, goaless, chaos incarnate
My mind into the wall
Like a pipe burst
Like a faucet
They just run
Aimless, goaless. Chaos incarnate
Can I map them?
Bring them to resolution?
Present myself the solution?
A late night the other night
Not too long ago I knew
Things, people, family, future plans
Not too long ago
Then, over the course of 4 years
Everything fell apart
Everything came unglued, undone,
Nothing fit together so smart(ly)
It took six month of pain, regret and confusion to...
See colors once known
It’s time to get into my own zone
And now I am alive
I feel like I might thrive
I feel more me now, then I ever was
Before. Before all the fuzz
They actually gave birth
Every day isn’t easy
Far from everything perfect
But I feel things are flowing
I feel that my soul is growing
My choices flowing
My expectation growing
sometimes beauty does come from ashes, and though i am still covered in ash, the light is shining through
If Chaos is the Great Mother
Then admits my madness
There is something new coming
Something is borne in the turbulence
So I can take a breath because
This won’t be comfortable
This won’t be easy
Sometimes not palatable
But my goal, remain malleable
Because in this hurricane I lose sight
Of the sun or stars to guide my way
But Belief, built from scratch, made to last
That will guide my way
To the birth of something new
In stories and lore from centuries past, chaos was respresented as the Great mother. A (would-be)hero would leave what they knew and travel to unknown and emerge something new
Also, the belief line was stolen from a Gavin DeGraw song, I do not own the rights to that line(hope that’s ok$
A mirror I never wanted
To see myself in
She can be trying
She can be all the shades of strife
He can be trying.
Sometimes he’a best with a chaser. Gin and Vermouth
Life can be crazy
It can make things hazy
It’s so easy to get lost in the crazy
It’s hard to find a compass when things get hazy
Follow it down into the depths of your soul
Feel it corse through like a smoldering coal
It’s a flame
And it’s life
The breath we breathe
Sometimes the breath we breathe is the best thing there is...