You are so sweet,
he says.
And he means it.

But after he leaves,
he does not see that I stay in my car
and cry
for all of the more intimate details of me
that he forever neglects to acknowledge.

I met a girl today, let’s call her, “A”.

She had brown hair which flowed down over her shoulders and back like ripples in a river of melted chocolate.
Her eyes were rich and sweet like pools of poured molasses.
Underneath layers of woolen thrift shop fabric, her lovely pale wrists and neck peeked out.
We spent hours together, inviting strong coffee to splash down our throats, and giggles to bubble up from our lungs like hot springs.

Through shared trust, she confessed to me that her pastel skin had once been painted black with alien brushes,
Her Hershey hair had known the touch of uninvited fingers,
And her cocoa eyes are forced to replay visions of unimaginable horror in color.  

But I could imagine.
Oh, sweet girl, I could imagine.

Don't you dare look at me like that
The way he used to
My heart has felt the same crushing gaze before
And it hasn't healed enough for round two

Sometimes I get sad
So sad in fact
That
I feel like tugging on the split ends of my braids
Until they fall off
I feel like running  
Until I collapse
I feel like screaming
Until there is no more sound
I feel like sleeping for so long
That I never wake up
But then again
I also feel
Absolutely
*Nothing

Sometimes I look around me and the only thing I see
is a sea of crowded faces staring back at me
or staring at their feet
or another busy street
and I never stop to think,
"I wonder where they'd be...
if I shared the love of Jesus
if I'd stop just passing by
if I'd make a family of these waves of people
who are just like you and I.
If I stopped what I was doing
and just lent a helping hand
if I helped the sea of faces find a piece of solid land."
I wonder what would happen if instead of seeing strangers
we saw members of our family who are in terrible grave danger
of crashing into rocks of anger
or sinking deep into despair
if they don't find the boat to safety that will take them out of there.
Jesus guides that boat and he helps us all find land,
He see's us as his children instead of grains of sand.
And because he loves us deeply, deeper than the deepest sea,
He drown himself to save us from the life that we might lead.
He jumped out of the boat to make room to let more in
so all people of every nation can be delivered from the depths of sin.
So can we step up to the challenge?
Will we look for more to save?
We could be their only chance to be rescued from a watery grave.

There was a time when my life was dark
And s c a t t e r ed
And no one could help me see the light
Except for the fire that burned my skin
And the bright shimmer of the razor blade

They helped me through my darkest hours
Or so I thought
But really they plunged me further down

I stopped eating
I stopped smiling
I stopped loving
I stopped caring
I just
Stopped

No one could help me
No one could save me
But

Then a voice shouted into the darkness
A voice that shone so bright
It picked me up and dragged me out
And turned my wrong to right
The voice was He
Who set me free
Who paid my price in full
He said
Do not fear
Your way is clear
I took your shame on me
I chose the cross
To save the lost
And give them light to see
Go in peace
Fear no more
Shine with the light of the Son
You need not turn to the dark again
All you did is now undone

And I looked up to the face of my savior
With tear stains in my eyes
I vowed to never be a slave again
To the one who rules the night
And now I walk with confidence
With Jesus by my side
I shine His light
In a dark cruel world
To help give the blind their sight