placed you on an alter, i fell to my knees
and instead of sweet nothings
i offered prayers and pleas
your feet swung in the air, far far away
face terrified and helpless
as you listened to me pray

to save me, save me i begged for deliverance
my worship, my reverence, our eventual severance
made myself an offering all while feigning ignorance
when you tore off your thorns i feigned indifference

I’ll admit it, my feelings for you
Are about as tasteful and confusing as alphabet soup

The noodles aren’t clearly spelling out l-i-k-e
I want to spend time with you, but do you even still love me?

I’m childishly throwing tantrums about feelings I can’t comprehend
Lashing out at your love and dumping cans of it on my own head


I wasted what could’ve been a lovely thing
All because I was confused about my own stupid feelings!

You **** me, so softly, so gently
Till my senses have left me
(Have your eyes always been so soft ?)
You’re looking, so intently
Who knew it would affect me?

No matter where I am, or what I do
Inevitably my thoughts turn to you
And no matter how hard,  I try not to
My head is filled with only you you you

Like the leaves crunching under my feet
Like little kids yelling into the night “trick or treat!”
Crisp and mischievous
Yet
Mellow and sober
I imagine that’d you’d be like October

This body of mine has started to feel like a vase
Night time comes and I become listless
Filling myself up with distractions
To pretend
I was never empty in the first place
My chest has a cavity and it
Aches like my teeth
whenever I chew something sweet
The next song has come and gone and
it feels so fatal
to contain this much of nothing.
everything but my brain is vacant
And even then
You still think I’m airheaded

Don’t even know you
Yet I think you’re so divine
Don’t even know each other
I still want you to be mine
An alien boy, so interplanetary
An Empty girl
With her head all airy

You feel like a state of inbetween
in the interval
Of sensible, and having no meaning
You seem to not think I’m absurd
Or at least you
match foolishness word for word

Don’t even know you
Yet you feel so familiar
And when you’re around
I get sillier and sillier
This alien girl, captivated by
the Able boy
with a mind like the sky

Lover, this fear, it swallows me whole
Lover, this fear, is taking its toll
It’s pooling between
My stomach
My spleen
Asphodels made smears of white in
the green
Sighs of the grass as my feet
gently kills it
This heart beating quick till His hand gently stills it
The stillness, fulfillment that’s
Peaceful and smothering
suffering won’t matter when
you realize it’s
Nothing
I look to my lover and see only shade
I’m looking for you
As your face slowly fades
From my mind, from memory
It’s all fading out