I sat there, silent tears falling off my not high - not sharp- cheekbones.
I sat there while you continued shoving yourself father down my throat.
            Did you know I was crying? Would you have cared?
I got up, and he looked at me sympathetically. As though he wasn't screaming at me, "You know you want this." "Come on. No one will know. No one has to know. It'll be quick."
            Did you not get the hint when I began lying there lifeless,
            almost, close enough? Did you not think to stop when I said
            no? When I couldn't find myself to look at you while you were
            committing your act? Would you have stopped if you could've
            heard my thoughts?
At least he had the decency to drive me home, this time.

Self love is a war,
Except you are on both sides.
Everyday a different battle,
Like the changing of the tides.
Your mind tells your heart
“You are not what you seem”
Never a small bit of satisfaction,
Never truly clean.
You must learn
You are what you make yourself
The lesson is to
Love yourself
Speak yourself

You said you'd always love me
so why do I sit here alone at 3am
wondering where it went wrong.

She had no idea that

her words were eating away at me
like hungry piranhas

she was taking
small bites to savor
the newness of my flesh

if she could have seen into the future

the effects were invisible

she would have stopped

and then she devoured
a little more and a little more

but they were still just flesh wounds
always quick to heal
and I could still smile at her

and then more and more and more
until I could not smile

until she took her last bite

and there was nothing
left of me but her words.