Dear Diary,
The tears came crashing down like a dam with too much pressure put against it.
I thought i would be able to push all my emotions down until the tiny box i had would make them fit.
I don't know how to live in a world where my mom isn't.
I am fighting, but it's like i am trapped in a maximum security prison.
How do I pick up the razor sharp pieces of my heart and sew them together again?
How do I leave the only home I've ever known for somewhere I've never been?

Dear Diary,
The pain is here and it is getting worse.
I don't know how much longer I can survive this curse.
I have cut my fingers till blood picking up the remains of my soul.
I don't think there is a place for me in this world, life has taken its toll.
When you wake up and it physically hurts to get up, why continue trying?
You're not here, so why bother trying to keep from dying?

Dear Diary,
It has gotten worse, I tried to tell someone about the pain I feel.
The only response I get is, "It's not real."
They say the only way my pain could be real is if they can see it on my face.
My smile is cold, and dead but somehow it seems to satisfy them enough not to chase.
I am almost to the edge, i don't know how much longer i can hold on.
Please, I am begging you hear my plea and help me stay strong.

Dear Diary,
I have had enough, the pain has come to a head.
All i ever do is lay down crying in my bed.
This is the last day i shall take a breath.
I am holding onto hope someone will see, and stop my death.
They didn't notice... or maybe they just didn't see, it's not fair.
Well this is it world, take care.

M - My whole world, and my soul.
O - One and only who made me feel whole.
M - Maker of the joy in my life.
M - Mother of the year, and the best ever wife
Y - You saved my life and you don't even know...
I wish i could tell you MOMMY, you are the one who makes me want to get up and go.

Take a deep breath and close your eyes.
Wipe your tears and silence your cries.
Her mom was stolen from this earth and it left her broken and lost.
She is fighting to survive at all cost.
She wakes up and it hits her like a ton of bricks.
She can't breathe for a moment, it's life's little tricks.

Hush little baby don't you cry..
Your mommy left and never got to say goodbye.
Hush little baby don't you scream..
Mommy will be there when you close your eyes and dream.
Hush little baby don't you fall..
You fight on because one day you will get through this long hall.

She wakes up everyday with a fire in her stomach, and an ache in her soul.
She knows without her mom and dad she will never be whole.
The days go by but the pain never seems to fade.
She had nothing left so she fell to her knees and prayed.
Today is the start of a brand new day.
Today, she will smile because she can almost hear the words her mother would say.

This is a letter to the mother i lost way too soon.
This is for the mother i can only see when i look up to the moon.
I can’t breathe without you, how could you leave me?
I thought i was prepared for the worst case scenario, but this is nothing like i thought it would be
I am dying a little more with every breath i take.
I don’t know how long i can stay alive, i've only lasted this long for your safe.

A letter written to someone hidden in the stars
A letter to a mother who caused me the most scars
A letter i will never be able to send.
A heart so broken i'm not sure it will mend.
I lost my soul when you went into the arms of the angels, leaving me alone.
I didn’t think i could hurt this deep or this much, but i can feel it down to my bone

I am 19 and i don’t know how to live without my mom and dad
I hate it when everyone tells me it is okay to be sad
I am not sad, i am not grieving, i am dying and no one can see it.
I wonder if anyone would even care if i just didn’t fit…
Didn’t fit into this puzzle they call life,
Because when you died i lost my smile, and now all the pain i feel is being stabbed with a knife

A letter i write you will never see
A letter i write because the pain is just too much for me.
A letter baring my soul to anyone who will listen to the pain
A letter to make sure i don’t lose it all and go insane.
This letter is written as tears stream down my puffy red cheeks
Because as i write this letter life slowly leaks…

I am lost in a world full of people who have no idea how close to the edge i am
They think i am surviving, and moving on… then wham!
It hits me again, when i want to dial your number and know there won't be anyone on the line
It hits me hard when i realize i will never be fine
I have tried my best to keep from doing what i know would cause more pain
But it’s too late to keep the thought out of my brain

A letter to anyone who will listen to a broken girls final plea
A letter written, because soon i will give in and no longer be me
A letter to say im sorry for anyone who will be hurt.
A letter to let you know i am okay with being buried in the dirt.
A letter to write my final goodbye,
A letter to write, you have no right to cry.

I lay back and watch the most beautiful scarlet stream
It was like my angel had crafted the most perfect dream
The life rushed out of her body as quickly as it had once poured in
It didn’t take much her body had become much too thin
She closed her eyes to stop the spinning
She knew this is what everyone wanted, so she was the one winning.

This was mine, it was all for me, my beautiful nightmare
She was surrounded by her own blood, and she wondered if anyone would really care
As if in some sick nightmare she was there, on her knees trying to hold the pieces of me together
She refused to let go, no matter the struggle, her touch was as light as a feather
Her pulse was faint, all she could feel was warm arms holding her scarlett wrists to her chest
The look on her face, it was hazy but panic was evident, she tried to reassure her it was for the best
As her pulse slowed to almost nonexistent, a smile appeared across her pale lips
Angels had come for her darkness kissed, taking her into her eternal rest

She held the shell of what once held her whole world, crying over her, pleading
She held so tight her nails dug into her flesh and she began bleeding
Soon it was so quiet you could hear the sound of her heart breaking in her chest
She couldn’t let go, how could she lay her baby to rest?
She stays frozen in place, she grabbed her phone but her fingers wouldn’t let her dial
She lost her whole world, and now she had lost her only reason to smile.

Wanna hear a secret, a story if you will..
One where Death is good, and Life is the one to ****.
She was lost in a world of hurt and lies.
She was sure to make sure no one saw her cries.
This story isn't one with a happy end..
This is one about a girl who could so easily blend.

She was perfect, because no one knew.
She was holding herself together with just tape and glue.
Today she woke up and knew it would never be the same.
She knew, because the angels had already came.
Wanna hear a secret, just between you and me?
That girl you think you know, isn't who she claimed to be.

She was all smiles, and full of sunshine.
You would never even hear her whine.
On the outside, she was pristine and the girl we all wanted to be.
On the inside she was begging someone to hear her plea.
All diamonds are made when pressure is added to them.
She was feeling that pressure and it was making her numb.

Death comes and whispers in her ear..
"Baby girl, your mommy and daddy are here.."
She longs to follow but Life is quick to jump in.
"Don't you dare leave, you won't be forgiven for such a sin."
She stands torn between an Ugly Truth and a Beautiful Lie.
She takes the blade and rush of warm fills her, silencing her cry.

The hands on the clock continuing ticking away.
There are so many things i have left to say.
The doctor has come in and gave us the look..
All the adults understand but somehow the kids haven't shook.
The end is near, and i demand more time!
We wasted the gift we were given, it’ll forever be our worst crime.