leave me be
let thoughts of you
come to nothing
bitter burning bile
that you are
festering utterances
sticks in my craw
your name
pungent
flaming
bilious
as i regurgitate
memories
seep
oh heavens
seep through my wounds
dearest lord
take this burden
what hell is this?
what torment?
water does not sluesh
does not cleanse
does not purify
oh heavens burn me
brand my own name
over this wound
only fire
scalding my soul
will parch my
thoughts
and memories finally
fall as ash

you drank from me
with crimson lips
high on my essence
devouring

gorging on the pounds of flesh
that I had paid

as you chewed both fat and sinew
gnawing your way through
to my marrow

licking your fill from my sanity

feeding gluttonously
at the banquet
of my sobriety

until my skin was paper thin
empty
void

as organza eyes
stared back at you
and wept

knowing

for it was not love
that you craved

to gorge

to fatten on

it was all that I was

that you were not

that filled you

and emptied me

forever was in your heart
as you clipped my wings
but all i could feel
was the expanse
of the sky

you hear them don't you?
when the world is quiet
when it slows just enough
that exhaustion puts you to bed

they whisper when your ears dip below the water line
you can hear their stories
babbling like drunken sailors with so much *** that it fills their livers

you see them
with your eyes closed tight
they are always there
even when you peep between your fingers

even when you glue your lashes together with silver tears
they always find you
don't they my love...

even when you are silent
and no longer breathe
and you hold your heart so tight
it stops
they want you still

they do, don't they?
and for some unfathomable reason they can't hear you whisper
no

you could scream it from the top of your lungs and they'd love you anyway


they bring gifts
such darling gifts
that weigh so much
with ribbons so pretty
and tight

oh they are so heavy
aren't they?
so heavy that your heart
cannot carry their *** filled livers and their empty stories
and their wants and their needs
and their lust and disbelieving disregard
and their selfish hearts

gifts of ruin
tied with a bow

how could you possibly
need to fly away
or else you will drown
in their guilt laden love ?...

it pushes you so far down
you cannot lift your feet
off the ground
can you my love...

you just cannot understand
why your being alive
draws them close


my love
its because to them
you are light

their way home

you are made
of a thousand sunrises
and a million dreams

you walk like an angel
in the shadows
unable to stop your pure heart
from beating
like the drum
that draws them in

like a flame
you warm their empty bones
you give yourself to them
for love
because you cannot fathom
not doing so

and they consume you child
like such ravenous beasts
and you feed them truth
and love
because you don't have
the kind of heart
that would let them starve

what inconceivable love you have
what treasures you hold
they seek you out
to fill their barren hearts
with your truth
even if it
hurts

you

and for that my love
they will chain you
to their broken hearts
and broken promises
and broken lives

and unless you fly now child

your light will slowly dim
and then forever go out

the tide never ebbed
it just came in
and in
and
in
the seventh wave
crashed over
and the eighth
and the ninth
and the tenth
and the whole ocean
followed

flowing in behind

flooding
and
flooding

filling my bones

crashing into
my skin
for an eternity

sand and
coral
driftwood
and depths
the deepest blue
and sunken wrecks
teeming life
the spoils of war

oh such tragic loss

washed up
with
the remains of the dead

flooded

filling my lungs
with brine

with fathoms of salt

my skin
my bones
my flesh
sinking to the bottom
of the sea

until
i
just.

couldn't.

hold.

my.

breath.