a week ago wednesday
and here we are, here i am,
begging and bruised and
bursting at every touch;
the gentle threat of promises
that are not uttered
but seep in, somehow,
through the sensitive skin of my thighs
and into my bloodstream,
begging to be realized
and i dream of giants and gems on your pillow;
my mouth is consistently
failing me, and the promises hide behind
my teeth as you pry them open
with your tongue--
i melt the confessions into your
bed sheets and close my eyes
to dream

Bright appearance
Blue eyes
All those little lies

Treating me like nothing
Sometimes there
Acting like you care

Maybe you do
I know you’re not here anymore
And with that let me say
I no longer mourn

Don't listen to that voice
The one within your mind
That tells you everything is going to be okay

Because it's not

You know it's not

You struggle every day and every night
Always tired of this fight
It draws you in and lures you too far
Then you're trapped and there's no going back
So why bother?

Why bother?
Why care?
It's not like anyone is there
To hear you cry out for help
Or to see you reach out desperately

So you sit there and you cry

Until the one you truly love comes along
To pull you back from the depths of the hell within your head

If you fold up your paper,
turn off your radio and TV,
sit on the steps and sip your tea,
watch the birds and speak no words
as the sun rises yellow and round,
making rainbows on the dewy lawn,
you could fool yourself into thinking
there’s no ****** war going on.

I wonder when
I stopped being
your favorite

The sadness tonight
Hope I can sleep
Burning down the years

Grey day blues
Meaninglessness
A thousand falling fears

The moon last night
Yellow glow
Precious time with Q

I drift toward death
Franklin Street
I hope I die in you

              72

The Buddha is right about desire
Suffering to and fro
In Chapel Hill the Fire
One man come and go

I give thanks for my boys
The pain often near
I hope I die at home
Courage in the fear

       Cordelia. Not King Lear.