Debbie Stevens

Debbie Stevens May 2020

It’s like everyone around me can’t see my pain, it’s like there is something wrong with my brain.
I’m feeling really drained, I think that I might go insane...how could I restrain?
My chest is really heavy and my head is feeling wavy, I cannot keep steady.
Where is my self control? I’m feeling completely un-hole.
Something has taken over my soul and I have lost all control.
I feel so hopeless, I don’t think that I can cope with this.

#anxiety #anxious #depression #depressed #mentalhealth #mentalillness #struggling #selfcontrol #hopeless #drained

Debbie Stevens May 2020

Anxiety

My chest hurts, it feels like it’s on fire.
I can’t stop the tears, it’s blurry.
My legs are feeling weak, i’m going to collapse.
My head is pounding, this is not stopping.

#anxiety #anxious #mentalillness #mentalhealth #depression #depressed

Debbie Stevens Nov 2017

Bad habit.

My life isn't always filled with sadness and grief.
I just have this bad habit of only writing when I'm hit with mental illness and misbelief.
When I inhabit this place of mind, the only way to escape is writing until I’m able to leave this behind.
Everything gets intertwined, I get the feeling of hatred towards humankind.
But all of this does not last, it goes away and then it comes back.

#hatred #positivity #negativity #mentalhealth #mentalillness #depression #anxiety #anxious #depressed #grief

Debbie Stevens Nov 2017

Suddenly

Suddenly, everything I see from my eyes is negative.
Suddenly, everything I hear from my ears is negative.
Suddenly, everything I think with my brain is negative.
Suddenly, I block out all positivity, nothing but hostility.
This happens every once in a while.
At first I thought it was strange, you know?..
I was able to hide and pretend, but now I can barely comprehend.
My curiosity to "what are these feelings" and my thoughts about "I wonder why this is happening to me" now turned into curiosity about the afterlife and thoughts about ways to end it.
When I say end it, I mean ways to end this pain.
It's a pain that is barely describable.
It's a pain that I can't seem to understand.

#mental #health #feelings #hurt #depression #anxiety #suicide #suicidal #pain #afterlife

Debbie Stevens Oct 2017

They seen me as a fool, they see me as a fool.

All my life I was lost and clueless,
growing up with no filter and foolishness.
With no family to love and care for me,
I don't know how they could leave and betray me.

No eyes focused on me because of my low I.Q,
my life has changed because of the help from a few.
With scientists helping me to become smart,
I am now realizing my life from the start.

All hopes come crashing down,
I'm going back to looking like a clown.
It was great while it lasted,
all I want to say is don't take life for granted.

I wrote this poem in relation to the book "Flowers for Algernon" as an assignment for my english class.

#flowersforalgernon #charliegordon #novel #book #studies #school

Debbie Stevens Oct 2017

Please look down on me from up above.

I'd do anything for you to be here again...
even if it was just for a few seconds,
even if it was just a quick phone call.
I just want to feel your touch, I just want to hear your voice.

#rip #rest #in #peace #heaven #death #grandfather #father #love #grief

Debbie Stevens Oct 2017

Bruised on the inside, bruised on the outside.

After being abused, some people will turn to the *****.
Whether if its mental abuse, or physical abuse.
Ends up being overused,
everyone around you strongly disapproves.
But, what can you do when you can't find any way to get rid of the pain and memories that left you bruised?
It gives you so much fear but all you do is like to ignore,
leaving your thoughts and feelings destroying you to your core.
The atmosphere seems so unfair, hallucinations of being in thick air, eventually having you feeling suffocated and wanting to disappear.

#abuse #bruises #mental #physical #health #depression #lost #scarred #pain #fear

— The End —