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Deadwood Jawn Feb 13
I don't give a ****
If you're busy.
You're not busy.

Why do you say
You can always talk to me
When you never talk to me.
My head hurts.
Although there rests two days
                                                     of labour;

Two days
                 of toil;

Two days
                  of endurance.

Still,
         I will part the red sea.

I shall stand before adversity.

                 I will divide mine enemies.

                                       I shall stand and fight

                                                                           Fight 'til the death!
Got two days of hard work to get through. Let's get this done. Soon, I can run away and escape for a few days and just shed.
Deadwood Jawn Dec 2018
...
I can feel it.
A gaping pain
In your heart.
Let me
Heal you...
Im sorry dear.
Deadwood Jawn Dec 2018
-------------------------------------------------------



H́ͨ̆ͪ̉­̴̛̫̥̳̪̘̫͙̟ͪ̈̓ͨ͟ͅE̶̊͒̔̀͛̌͡͏̛͉̦͚͚͔͝ ̵͑̔͗ͥ̉̐͋̈ͥ͒͑̋ͨ̍͂̚͏͕̼̲̫̥̫̮̙͖̤̮͖͓̲͍͍̀̕W̢̹͕̫͇̙̞͇̪̌̋̆̔̃͛͛ͩ͐̊̃ͨ̅ͮ̍͊̈́́̚­͉͕͍̞̱̠ͅͅA̛͆̋ͩ̓͋̓҉̶͙̣̹̥̩̘̪S̡̃ͤ͗̒̐̊͛̍̕͞͏̰͍͖̥̦͎̻̱̪̪̙̭̫͔͚̘̣͉ͅ ̵̉̈́̌̾̿ͪͤ̃̈́͏̡̗̪̦̹̪̟̞̪̗͇̯ͅN̸̢̨̺̱͉͙̝̖̣̻̺̳͔̮̱̜̪͚̠̤̜ͬͮ͐ͤ̋ͪͩ̇̂̀͊̉̏ͦ̏̌ͧ̑­O̵̡̹͓̣͙̘͈̩̳̫̼̖͙͌̂̃̚͘͠Ṭ̢͓̭̦̣̗̩̭̪͉͓ͤͬ̋̎̓̾̔͛͛̔͂̾ͬ̄͊ͦͥ̅͡ ̧ͩͤ̑̿̿̇̚͘͏̢̛̯̬͍̹̳̘͇̥̩̣̩̟̤̺͉A̶̴̬̗͍̥̞̞̩̝̩̣̰̳ͯ̎ͥ̏̃ͮͤ̆̋̏͜͜Lͨ̀̄̏̓̉̋͆̋̇­̸̧͔̼̰̪̱͕̞̺̬̼̘̟̭ͥ͐͒̅͗͠͝͠W̧̖͙̞̪͙͙ͮ̑ͥ͆͛̌̽ͭ͐̌ͩͦ̓́̚̚͘ͅA̰̺̝͙͖̻̹̘̣͌ͨ̾̓͢͜­̬̣̺Y̢͎̹̩̺̦̬͚͉̲͎͓͉̅̄̽̅̎̏̎̌͂̃ͫͭ͞͞S̴̵̨̠̞̖̠̳̖͇̓̇ͧͮͥ͗͑̅̃̾͗͂ͨ͊́̆ͨ͢͢ ͦ͌̌̃̋̒̽͜͏̴̧̪̯̻͙͇̙͈͉̠̠͇̜͈͇͍̣͕̞͢L̵ͪ̊̏̃ͭ̒͊҉҉̞̰̣̥̺͙̣̥̳̠̹̭̘̜̜̙Iͨ̂ͬ̑̿͋͐­̲̗̹͓̠̜͕̞̞̻͙̞͚̼̫̲̞̣̟̃͑̓̃̂͊͛̅̓ͥ̕͜K̅͊ͤ̃̊͂ͮ͊͒̒̎̿҉́͡҉͏̖̯̜̜͔̪̖̟̙̞̺͎̦̖̠E­̶̶̵̪̱̺͍̫͎̣̾̽̂̾̒ͣ̀ͬ̏̐̿ͭ̿͟͡ ̸̧̡̞̠̻̟́̅ͮ̋̕͢T̡̢̼͕̝̠̼̩̜̜͓̠̱̘̜̲̦́͆ͩͨ̈͊ͮ̆̈͑͐̚͜͢͝ͅH̡ͫͧ͛̐ͦ̋ͣ̔̓̾͆͐ͥͯ̚͢­͕͉̤̫̹̟͇̭́I̷̧̨̒ͬ̇ͬ̾̆ͬ̂̌͌͏͍͍͔̖̮̪̖͓̰͎̪Ş̴̰̭̜͓͚̖̯̦͇͓̞̹̼̺͖̐ͪ̐̅͒̚̕͘



­--------------------------------------------------------
He wasn't. Thanks for understanding, Lydia.. Lydia is angry.. Someone's hurt him..
This is Lydia speaking.
You're all fake.
Yet I continue trying.

You're all impersonal.
Yet I always reach out.

You run.
But I chase.

And still I am trapped;
I must escape.

****.
This isn't good..
Ahaha..
These are not good thoughts. Surely these thoughts predict death.
Deadwood Jawn Jan 20
Get back.
          Turn the light off.
                   Kneel before the master.
                         Then weep continuously.
                                  Bring yourself to a humble state.
Weep. Wrote this a while ago but couldn't be bothered to post it. Idk.
Ì̛̛̕ ́͝ņ̛̕e̛̕͟ę̛̕͝d̷̢̛̕e̸̶̡͏̀ḑ́ ̛̀͠y͜͡o̶u̸͜ ́͟b́͞͞u̴̶t̷̛͞͠ ̧̡͡͞͏
ỳ̕o͢u҉͢͏̷ ̶̨͞w͏̴̕è̛́͘ŕ̴̴͢͞e̕͠ ̶̧̡͜n̴͢o̷͟͝͞ţ̸̵̸̴ ̷̸t̢͞h͠͏̶̧er̶͠e͜͠͡ ͏͠f͜͠o͏͜͠r̀̀͞ ̶͟͞m̕͢͟͞͠e̛͟͞
You traitor.. i know this is dysfunctional.. but i do not care.
Deadwood Jawn Jan 16
Oh no.
     Why did I decide
  to

    to

to
      to
to

   to
to
to
to
to


            to                
                          to
                                             to
                                                                      to
                                                                                      LOOK?


And now
All of a sudden

I can't-

                     It was-

                                

                                          It's-

                It's really-



                            I didn't want-

...


Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord.

Taste this.

Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord.

Watch this.

Discord.
Discord.
Discord.
Discord.
Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord.

F E E L  T H I S

Discord.
           Discord.
   Discord.

             Discord.

Discord.

          Discord.
Discord.



           Discord.

















Discord.
ANXIETY. WHY DID I SEE IT.
Deadwood Jawn Jun 15
Indeed.

I am
Enveloped in
The cobalt-blue
Ocean of despondency
Tonight.

Do not save me.

Rather,
Come and be present
With me.

I love you.
I can't sleep.
I knew I
Was
Accidently
Falling in
Love.

But I
Hated          and was afraid of
It.

Yet I didn't
Stop it.
I didn't
Stop myself.

And now
I pay
By the
Angst
Of my
Scars.

I want you to be my Serena.

So badly.

I want you to smell like her.

I want you to sound like her.

I want you to love like her.

I want you to cry like her.

I want you to smile like her.


Haha.. No.
I do not mean
I had an ideal.

It's
Just
A
Fantasy.


You were almost her.

And I love you.
I can't... I am bleeding out from the inside. Flowing like thick, hard water.

Let me know your thoughts.
Deadwood Jawn Dec 2018
I keep saying "ahaha.."
a lot more lately..

                             It could be a bad sign..

                       ....
       Ahaha..
This is bad..
Deadwood Jawn Jun 24
WHICH ONE OF YOU DECIEVED ME?

TELL ME!

NONE HOLD MY ANSWERS!

NONE, I SAY!

ALL DAY LONG, I SEEK THEM
ALL NIGHT LONG, I PONDER

WHERE, I SAY

WHERE
               ARE
                        MY
                               ANSWERS?

THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN THROWN

THROWN INTO THE PITS
      THROWN INTO THE DARK
           PERPETUAL BLINDNESS
                PUGNACIOUS OPTIONS

I AM ALONE

ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE

IN MY PERSUIT!

ALL MY ENEMIES DOUBT ME;
THEY POINT AND LAUGH
"HE SHALL NOT ENTER
INTO THE TITANIUM WHITE GATES"

WEEK
       AFTER
               WEEK . . .

I  
     R
       E
         L
           E
            N
              T
                L
               ­  E
                  S
                   S
                    L
                      Y
                 ­            PERSUE THE GOAL.

WEEK
              AFTER
                              WEEK

I SEARCH ABOUT,
IN THE SACRED GREY-HAZE.

WEEK
                    AFTER
                      ­                    WEEK
WEEK
                    AFTER
         ­                                 WEEK
WEEK
                    AF­TER
                                          WEEK

I AM TAUNTED BY THE DESIRED TREASURE
SEEMINGLY GETTING CLOSER
BUT THEN RUNNING FURTHER AWAY.

Come back, I say...
Come back...

NO HELPING HANDS HERE!

IN
                THE


    ACCURSED

                   ­             LAND

             CALLED

                                                        E­ARTH

NONE


                    SHALL


              CARE


ALL
               SHALL
PERISH

                                                   ­ IT IS

                            THE

                            ­          LAST MAN

S                      S                         S                       S                        S
T                      T                        T              ­         T                       T
A                     A                       A                       A                      A
N                    N                  ­     N                       N                      N
D                     D                       D                       D                      D
I                       I                         I                         I                        I
N                    N                ­       N                       N                      N
G̵̠̣̱̮̻̩̘̩̪̯̱̮̜̱̩͜͜͟͠                   ­  G̵̠̣̱̮̻̩̘̩̪̯̱̮̜̱̩͜͜͟͠                       G̵̠̣̱̮̻̩̘̩̪̯̱̮̜̱̩͜͜͟͠                       G̵̠̣̱̮̻̩̘̩̪̯̱̮̜̱̩͜͜͟͠                       G̵̠̣̱̮̻̩̘̩̪̯̱̮̜̱̩͜͜͟͠



____________­_
If you care enough, view using a desktop or similarb ecause the format is making full blown **** use of the entire canvas. I'm absolutely infuriated. I dream of becoming a counsellor and it is like the requirements to get there are completley IMPOSSIBLE. HOW AM I TO AFFORD SUCH COSTS!?
Deadwood Jawn Jun 17
We were once harmonious.

Now I can see you have fallen.

Arrows to the back.

Multiple Multiple Multiple Multiple Multiple Multiple Multiple Multiple Multiple Multiple Multiple Multiple
stabs.

Poison.

Failing organs.

Blackened eyes.

A false personality.

D
  r
   e n
         c
             h
                e d  in many medicines.

You are  d e a d .

Not even Amarantha anymore.

...

...

...

But it's O.K.

I used to think you would
Return.

But I shall let you go now, dear..

After much heartache and grief

I shall let you go.

The one I knew as Amarantha

Has  d i e d .
She isn't dead. Remeet her and you will see.
"She hasn't replied in two days.

Your messages were quite long.

Don't send more woes to her.

She hasn't even replied to the first stuff yet.

Don't say too much"
Inner thoughts..
Deadwood Jawn May 29
It's really sad!

It's..

        Like..


Half of my life


           I have
                   been
                       asleep..
From a friend.
Deadwood Jawn Mar 17
It could be nice..
It would be nice..

If I were ravaged and broken
And she carried me on her back.
Refusing to
Let me die.

Let me die.
Let me die.
Let me die.

Don't let me die.
Don't let me die.
Don't let me die.

Just treasuring the moment..
Barely alive.
Subconscious.
Weakened.
Feeble.

A weak voice.

It would be nice ..
To be carried.
On her back.

"Come on Jawn..
Not yet.. Please.
Not now.."

It

Would

Be

Nice...
Inspired by Wonderful Everyday Down the Rabbit-Hole visual novel.
Deadwood Jawn Jun 13
I told my friend
I always have unmet needs.

And after that...

After that...

After...

Dissociation.

Rumination.

Desolation.

Depre­ssion.

Yearning.

Needing.

Longing.

Nostalgia.

Melancholy.

A­s I remained despondant,
As I remained still,
As I remained forlorn...

I ...

   She just...

                    She was just...

                                                 There...

                There with me...

With her carmine aura..

And shortly after?

C̱̜͉̭̪͖̜̹̲̰̘̦̭̺͎̲̠̭r͍̟̪͎̤̫y̯̟̫̼̠̟̺i͉̦̯͚̹͎̪̘̩͚̫̘n̥͇̫̳̣g̬̞̣­̜͖



---------------------------------------------
Just thinking.. Y'know? Unmet needs..
Deadwood Jawn Nov 2018
R        e           s            o           n              a               t           e

R                                                             ­ e
            e           s                                     t
                                    o                  a
      ­                                         n
                                      o
                    s  ­                                    a
        e                  ­                                              t       e
R


V i b r a t e. .e t a r b i V    
i                                     i
b                                   b
R                                   R
A                                   A
t                                     t
e t a r b i V   V i b r a t e

The music surges through me!
                                                          Con­cord.
                                  Harmony.
                ­                                                  Superfluous excitement!

I love it.
                       OBTAIN.
I love it.
                       CONTAIN.

50mg.
50mg.
50.190002221mg.

The song.
                                                           ­        The song.

ARGH.
Eugh.
Tasty.

A pleasure to my tongue.
                                                                ­Riveting for the dopamine!

Move with me!
Move with me!

Move
                                 Move
                                                       Move
                                        Move
               ­  Move
Move

With me!
                 With me!
With me!

...

Goodness, me...
If I just

Surge that
Surge that
Surge that
                  Push back
                  Push back
                  Push back
                                      Slam, tap
                                      Slam, tap
                                      Slam, tap

HEART ATTACK.                                                   C         K
E   E                                                                ­  A  
A                                                          ­       T
R              A                                        T
T    ­                         R T              A                                  C
             ­                                         
A                      
T                                                        A      ­        
T                         T
A      T    
C
K
.
Written during a time of frantic, hyper, positive thoughts and ideas. Please give me your interpretations! Anything at all! <3
Living is hard.
Breathing is hard.
Eating is hard.

Drinking is hard.
Walking is hard.
Jogging is hard.

Washing is hard.
Searching is hard.
Socialising is hard.

Brushing is hard.
Dressing is hard.
Behaving is hard.

Budgeting is hard.
Employment is hard.
Recalling is hard.

Trauma is hard.
Sleeping is hard.
Waking is hard.

Self-lovin' is hard.
Resisting is hard.
Abstaining is hard.

Praying is hard.
Believing is hard.
Hoping is hard.

Crying is... Hard.
Read the title.
Deadwood Jawn Mar 16
"I love the way your mind works."

And just then..

10 amps.
20 amps.
100 amps.

200 volts.
300 volts.
500 volts.

Completion.

"Your writings are beautiful."

b
  e
     a
        u  
           t
        i
         f
            u
                 l
Do not say this and wonder why I fell for you, Serena. Do not give impale me with the celestial spear.
Deadwood Jawn Jun 28
Unbelievable cold
Permeating through my skin
and bones

                                                     I wish to die.
                                                     My friend has noticed I am acting
                                                     As if I am leaving soon.


                                                       I was
                                      Really happy
                          That she noticed..
            
...
                                      ­                             I have to...

                        Write this


                                                   Before I

Completely
               Freeze...

But I cannot find the words...
Already the feelings are hard
to reach.

                                        I do not wish to return to my
workplace.

I do not wish to attend
                                        church.

               ­                                              I do not wish to
                                                  continue to reach
out to friends
                         and to new friends.

I do not wish to
               continue to
                           be let down.

                                                        I do not wish to
                              suffer the isolation
                  once I go on holiday
for 14 days
       with the group
                        of uni students.

I do not wish to
             continue to tell
                   my friends
                         I am alone.

                         Oh, the cold...
                        An icy resonance through my bones...

                        I do not wish to
               continue being
   u n l o v e d

                                      Focus, John...
                                      You got to
continue
                                 typing out
                                                      how
you­
               feel...
do not
        give them
                      a reason
                                   to say
                                           they did
                                                      not know...

  I do not wish to
                  continue yearning
                                     for someone
                                                         ­                            to touch me.

"I refuse to go out quietly. All will hear of my sufferings against them."

I do
   not wish to
              continue
                   casting my
                               pearls
    before swine.

i do
  not wish to
                                      try and make
new friends
                      only to have them
              throw me away.

i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to i do not wish to
i ̷̬͇̻̘̫ͅͅd͇̩̪o͏̝̤̳̦̠ ̧͖̣͍͇̪n̨̪͇̯̖͎̩̥o̯t ̗w͢ìs̟͓̙̫̣̠̟h̡ ͏̙̥t̙̼̪̻̮ͅo̥̼̺̩͎̬̼͡
i ̷̬͇̻̘̫ͅͅd͇̩̪o͏̝̤̳̦̠ ̧͖̣͍͇̪n̨̪͇̯̖͎̩̥o̯t ̗w͢ìs̟͓̙̫̣̠̟h̡ ͏̙̥t̙̼̪̻̮ͅo̥̼̺̩͎̬̼͡
i ̷̬͇̻̘̫ͅͅd͇̩̪o͏̝̤̳̦̠ ̧͖̣͍͇̪n̨̪͇̯̖͎̩̥o̯t ̗w͢ìs̟͓̙̫̣̠̟h̡ ͏̙̥t̙̼̪̻̮ͅo̥̼̺̩͎̬̼͡
i ̷̬͇̻̘̫ͅͅd͇̩̪o͏̝̤̳̦̠ ̧͖̣͍͇̪n̨̪͇̯̖͎̩̥o̯t ̗w͢ìs̟͓̙̫̣̠̟h̡ ͏̙̥t̙̼̪̻̮ͅo̥̼̺̩͎̬̼͡
i ̷̬͇̻̘̫ͅͅd͇̩̪o͏̝̤̳̦̠ ̧͖̣͍͇̪n̨̪͇̯̖͎̩̥o̯t ̗w͢ìs̟͓̙̫̣̠̟h̡ ͏̙̥t̙̼̪̻̮ͅo̥̼̺̩͎̬̼͡

I do
      not wish
to                                                    resent
                                                              pe­ople
                                                            ­     any longer.

I do not wish
             to remain in
                       a life
                             where
                                   i continously
                                                                ­ get stabbed.

i do not wish to

suffer disappointment.

to                                  have a glimmer of
hope

                                  that they care.
that she cares.

              My Serena...

                                                 I will never find you.
I do not
wish to  
       hold on for
                             you
                            any longer.

                     I will
                               never see
                                               the future me.

I will not
         reach counsellor
                              status

                ­                            I do not wish to
                                    persue that
                             future
                                                          ­                         where
                                                           ­                  I heal
                                                            ­                                   those
                                                           ­                                               in
discord.

My.. What a mighty feeling.
This is death.
This is not sadness.
This is the cold feeling of death, sweetheart.

But

I        do not

  wish               to
                continue        on
                                  in           a
                                          life         where
                                                   I
                                               Never
                                                 Get
                                                What
        ­                                            I
                   ­                             Want...

I do not wish
         to
seek
love anymore.

I do not
wish to
                heal others
                                    any longer.

i do
  not
wish
to
            to
                to
                to
         ­     to

t̀͏͔͙̤͎̟̣͇͕̞̗̙̳̝̠͚̘ó̧̪̗̟̲̲̞̬̫̬̳̦̩͉̱̲̣̠




I do not
             wish to
                 apologise
                    any longer.

I do not wish to
              follow my
                   to do list
                     any longer.

I do
     not wish to  
                   be alone
                      any longer.

i
                                                                ­   do not
  wish to                                  break the ice
                   any longer.

I do not
          wish to

     demonstrate valour
                      any longer.


I do not wish to give advice any more.

                     I do not wish to
            arise again.

                                 i do not wish to
                         believe in the afterlife
                  any more

i do not wish to clean my room any more
i do not wish to look after myself any longer.
I do not wish to
                            bulid connections with anyone anymore.

I do not wish to exercise anymore.

I do not wish to read any novels any longer.

         I do not wish
                 to better myself any more.

I do not wish to
negotiate.

                    I do not wish to
                    talk things out any longer

                                                         ­          You hate me anyway.

I do not wish for you
          to love me.
                                              I do not wish for you
                                                       to care for me.

I do not wish to ...


...


I wish to go out by the wrists.

Both, sliced. Pouring down my forearms.
Until I pass out.

I wish to be found
              not by family.

                                   But by those
                                       who left me behind.

Ah.. What  a feeling..
I've almost
Reached a psychosis state.


   I wish
                 for others to see me
                            And scream:
He was not always like this.

I wish for
             everyone
                     to see me as
                                the villain
                                                         ­         Maybe then I could **** myself. Without feeling bad.

No longer will I suffer with anxiety.
                                         with depression.
                                          with an invalidating family.
                                           with **** friends.
                                            with uncaring people.
                                             with borderline disorder.
                                              with brown skin.
                                               with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
                                                with self-harm.
                                                 with inability to move on.
                                                with rejection.
                                               with depressive nights.
                                              with suicidal ideation.
                                             with longing.
                                            with yearning.
                                           with betrayal.
                                          with wandering in the dark.
                                            with fear of change.
                                             with being a burden.
                                               with being horrible.
                                                with being desperate.
                                                 with begging someone to understand.

No longer will I
       Have to act out
                                   and hope
                                                         someone will
                                                           see
my
     distress
                  signals...

No...

They're all busy.
They always
always were.
                

I wish for someone to convince me
                    A Christian can commit suicide
                                  And nothing bad will happen...

I will never be with fellow
musicians again.
                              Every time I see
                              Others in
                              A wonderful group.
No longer...
No longer will my heart long for it.


Nobody loves me.

                     Nobody loves me the way I want.

Nobody cares about me.

                      Nobody cares about me the way I want.

Nobody desires me.

                      Nobody checks in with me.

All have forsaken me.

I  cannot be like Paul.
         And not hold it against them.
  
                      There are too many demons
                 After me.

Surely my fate is suicide.

                                             And yet..

No..
            Nevermind.

You're not listening anyway.

Lydia does not exist.
I made her up to make me feel better about
not having anyone to caress me
or provide me with
love
and care.
And to wipe my tears
away.

Serena may exist.
But she has not met me
yet.
I will never find her.
The one I wish to marry.


All I need is
     more burdensomeness..
As a feeling..

When isolation
and burdensomeness..
and no fear of the afterlife
                join together
                       The one known as
                          Deadwood Jawn
                             Will die.

Many have
their dagger in
  my back.
   I cannot take
    them out.

...
...
...

"Do you think you’re going to die, John?"




Į̨̦̜̘̘̹̳̖͚̩̰̳̬̦̱̤̭̤͎ͤͧ̍̆̃ͮͯ͑̄͑̍̒ͣ̌̊ͤ̀̚͘͢'̵̺̭͕͙̊ͮ̂͋̈́͟ͅ­̣͈̞̳̹̯̟̻m̷͉̺̫̫̗̠͎̮̰̰̺̹̼̟̑ͣ̔ͮ͆͋ͥ̇̈́ͫ̒ͥ̑ͩ́ ̶̡̍ͣ̀ͩ͆ͫ̈ͦ̌̂ͬ̽̿̾ͯ̋̏͗̚͞͏̟͈̲̰̲̫̤̠̮h̶̦̺̗͕̟̳̼̹̹ͪ̐ͪ̆̿͌̍̊̾ͮ̂́̚͢͟͢ͅa̍͌ͨ͐­̛̩͔̬͈̞̺̭͚͇̦̥̋ͧͮ͊̔͋̅͋̄ͣ͂̅̃ͥ͘͘͞͠p̵̺͔̳͓̰̎̊̄ͯ̄̈́͑̃̽͊̀̚͜p̨̽̈ͩ̾͘͝͡͏̤̪̝̺­̞͎̲͈̲y̨̞̭͍̲̳̮̩̞͙͉̼̦̰͌͑͆̾̄͠͞͞ͅ ̸̸̴̯̳̲͖̝͈͕͂ͥͦ͌́͘I̧ͭ̅̇̋̎̈́͑̓ͯ̎͌ͫͤͦ͋̇͛́̕͏̝̱͕̹̪̪̯̲ ̴̷̢̙̼̮͉̙̜̉̽ͦ̐̿̒̂ͮ̾̓͌̃͐͊͒ͣͤ̃̉͝͠m̸̩͈͕̫͚͇̮̒̈́̈̾̀͟e͌͆́̇ͧ̎̾̆͊̑̋̅͞͏̦̱̻̤̪­̥͙̝̣̖̰̦̞̝͚͙̝͕ţ̷̺͙̠̤͓͚͍̘̹̰̞ͫ̀͛͐͌̌ͬ̔̂ͬͦͥ̌̄̂ ̶͐͊̌̄ͩ̋̋ͮ͋ͬ͗̎ͭ̾͊̒̓͏̞̜̼̣͡y̍͒̐̓͊̚̕͝͏͇̻̯̼̤̹̞̙͙̬̮̪͇̰̥̮̬͞o̸̅ͤ̆ͪ͂̿̀ͬ͒̀͘­̶̰̞̟͉̼͖̭͈̞̩̥̠̬͈̟͇ù̶̷̡͈̦͙͔̣̪̘ͬ͛͛ͩ̉͝                              ­        I̸'͡m͡ n̴͞o̶t͜ há̶p͝p̶̸y̛҉
                                                    ­                       Į ͢mȩ̷t͏ ̸t̀͠h̛è͟m



_______
Almost sounds like a suicide note doesn't it.
Ah.. Guess i finally.. Wrote what it would look like.. None of you care, so just gloss over this like you all will.

I will write all of my dark desires here. And none can do a thing about it.
Deadwood Jawn Sep 18
Concern harbours within my blood cells,
My veins
My arteries
And my capillaries.

Concern is sorrowful.
Concern tries to urge me.

She persists I should watch out for my friend.

Concern and her lovely, brown hair..
Which is scented with sandalwood.

Concern reminds me to care for my friend.
To watch out for her again.

Concern embraces me,
And envelops me with love.

Altogether with her gentle,
cotton-like voice.
Written after some short mindfulness with smooth, chilled jazz.
Deadwood Jawn Jan 16
C R A V E
   C   R   A   V  E
      C    R    A    V    E
         C      R      A      V      E
         R   R
         A
         V           A
         E                 V     E
     E      
       V                     V
          A          A
            R    R
            C  
          C  R A V E            
       C  R  A  V  E
       C R A  V E
   C  R  A  V  E                








Crave.
I long for company. Meaningful ones..
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