I feel that sharp, painful, bitter feeling crippling through my blood and bones
Sending shivers down my spine
Something missing from my heart
Longing
Brain disconnecting from reality
Chocking on my own thoughts and memories
Deep sadness
Regret
Shifts
The sweetness
The laughs
The fun
Learning and experiencing
All those special places
And faces
The disrespect
The chaos
The betrayals and discomforts
Unforgettable things
Moments gone in time
A big mash of feelings; good and bad; and happy and sad.

Empty closets
Furniture disappearing by the day
Memories and accessories packed away in a hurry
Oblivion
Home is nowhere to be found.
A sorrowful goodbye.

And in all that mess I've managed to let him step on what was left of my dignity and use my fragile feelings.
And I will never get to say what I needed to.

Am I even human if I don't want relationships ?
Any kind. Not only romantic ones.
I just can't deal with people
And with myself but also really some people, most people just mess me up
So much
What the hell

Social media
Controls your life;
It tells you how your hair should smell
And your skin should glow
Have long hair
No.. short
Pluck those eyebrows off
Oh wait now grow them back
If you don't have the right nose and lips
Well, you're ******
Everybody should starve themselves
Who can be the thinnest
Only then you'll be beautiful
Oh, never mind
Now we like curvy girls
But you better get the proportions right or
You'll just be fat
And fat
That's unacceptable
As well as having any different colour of skin or a uniquely functioning mind
Enough to be lower than others
Out casted
Made fun of
Rejected
Wear what everybody else is wearing
We don't care for the price
But stand out
And do you
And be yourself
Just be happy.

But how
I ask how can we be happy when we're put into such impossible standards
When we're labeled
When what we have to offer is never good enough
When we feel judged everyday
And by whom?
Who's created this social media controlled society if not us
Every single one of us
You and me

So
All I'm really here to say is
You are beautiful.
Each of us is made differently in such an exquisite way
And that's what really matters
The uniqueness of each person's nature, appearance and story
The messiness and diversity of life is what makes it so alluring and magnificent ✨
Let's embrace our differences and learn to love the beautiful imperfect

Petrified
Lost in my own emotions
Where am I going
Where's my path
My senses are gone
They've been swallowed up by my loud mind
No air
No space to breathe
I feel trapped
Yet I'm free to make choices
Unguided
Alone with my cold, dark thoughts