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My therapist says the breaking point has to be my own.

She says she can tell I’ve grown.

My sisters cut me out and cut me down.

I know it’s because they don’t want you around.

I shouldn’t have told them all the ways you abused me.

I was weak and stupid and locked outside without a key.

I panicked and broke down and told them everything.

Now they tell me to end it even though it will sting.

Something in me holds on for dear life it begs me to stay.

Something in me every time I try to leave, it gets in the way.

But the good times are getting few and far between.

I sit naked on this toilet while you’re on our hotel queen.

You’d think this is rock bottom, tears falling at the comfort inn

But I’ve been in this spot, again and again.

I give you my body I give you my soul, I hope next time you wont leave a gaping hole.

But people never change and again and again you make me feel small.

I feel trapped in this Arizona desert

It compares to the love you give me, dry and unpredictable.

Each time it hurts a little less.

Each time I am less hurt by this mess.

Each time I tell myself another reason to leave.

Each time I know the longer I stay the less I’m respecting me.

She’ll tell me I abandoned her too.

She’ll compare me to the others with cries and boo hoos

But even a loyal dog runs away with enough abuse.

And soon you’ll be alone and have no one to use.

For now I’ll collect myself from this bathroom

I’ll go back and lay beside you.

But I start to detach little by little. I start to distance myself.

You treat me like hell for the rest of this contract, that’s fine.

In the end the victory will be mine.
Naive girl Aug 29
I’m Damaged goods, a river that’s dried up

I gave all I had but it wasn’t enough.

Like running out of water in the desert, I know I’ll die for sure

But I can’t bring myself to regret it, you haven’t met her

The way her hand felt holding mine, it fit so perfectly

My hand will always fight the urge to reach for hers

Drink straight out of the bottle but it doesn’t **** my pain

Hate myself for losing her this way

My mind is my enemy, it replays the moments, when the butterflies swarmed but the sparks turned to gray

It tortures me with our intimacy, it’s out for blood

Won’t stop until I’m nothing, She’s everything good

Water falls from the shower head, but we didn’t notice, we were wrapped up that it was just us
Naive girl Aug 29
If I knew the last time I held your hand would be the last time, I would’ve held on one more second

If I knew it was the last time our lips would meet I would’ve pulled you closer

If I knew it was the last time you would look at me, and smile with your eyes, I would’ve cracked just one last joke, try and hold your gaze

If I knew it would be the last time you held me close, I would’ve held you tighter

If I knew it would be the last time, we made love with such a big fire

If I knew the last time we danced in the hallway would be the last time I would’ve turned on music

If I knew the last time we laid in bed together would be the last time I would’ve held our eye contact
Naive girl Aug 29
If I ever lose her there’s a lot of things I’ll miss, too many to count but here’s a real short list

The way she gets excited when she sees a gruesome wound

The way she makes me feel like I’m the only one in the room

Her fake laugh and the flutter of her lashes

She’s so prepared no matter what, lots of secret stashes

Her eyes smile even when she acts annoyed

She listens to my rants, even when they disappoint

She brings me food even when she’s mad, she’s the best company

Her smile and her real laugh will be the death of me 😍

She wears a different color, based on the day

She keeps up with everything important, way better that way

Plays Rock Paper Scissors to score the good chair

Let’s me wear her jacket, even when her arms are bare

She shoots me with a nerf gun, but is also on my team, even when she knows I ****, I have a tendency to freeze....

She changes my locks to make sure she knows I’m safe

She gives me wound orders, she knows I’ll never take

Even when she’s being dramatic, she still charms me

I wish she would believe, she’s the only one I see

When she’s jealous she sends emojis, ******* or thumbs up

She teaches me important things, I love when we make up

The only one I’d go off the grid with, she’s always so prepared

Even when I’m mad at her I want her to be there
Naive girl Aug 29
A bullet through the chest
Losing when you know you tried your best

A knife in your heart

The call that broke us apart

I cried and begged you to stay but you said you were already on your way

I said through my tears “please turn around” but you didn’t give me the time of day

I begged you to care about me you chose going home to her

I keep waiting for you to show up, but I know it was a blur

There’s nothing I could do to make you stay

I’m tired of the games you always play

I said “we’re hanging on by a thread”

But you wanted to go home, left me cold and dead

I said I would’ve shown up for you,

You said I don’t do what you do

This time it’s truly over,

This time we won’t recover
Naive girl Aug 29
Hot burning tears fall down my cheek

The voice in my mind tells me not to speak

My thoughts of our kids will start to fade

The sweet memories will dwindle away

I close my eyes and we’re back in the car

Im dancing and you feel so far

I try everything to pull you in close

We fall in the kind of love you never forget
Naive girl Aug 29
My last drop of blood, id let it run dry

If you’d just stay and hold me, and not say goodbye

I promised I’d never be one of those girls, warm tears stream down my face, hanging on every word you say

I didn’t see it coming, I’ll never be the same

To keep you I’d fight any war, give any wage

I know we aren’t good for each other, we’re fire and gas

I don’t see that when I’m with you, my heart beats too fast

I fought a hard fight, I clawed and I begged

To not fall in love, I don’t understand

You still just want her, I know you don’t mean it

But at the end of the day I can’t compete
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