I pace this room like a ghost / picking up books
Trying to fold myself in them. I want to be a soulmate,
another half, I want to be like stardust, some white powder
You can inhale or **** on to get you high I want
To be the reason and the drive but like a drug I am also,
I am the reason you shake, you sweat, you worry and turn from the bottle, syringe, or pipe
Until I'm some forgotten college memory you were just trying
Like a memory either fond or full of regret but a memory you won't forget all the same /
While you hope your child doesn't try something like me, doesn't get hooked on someone like me because I am a stain on a perfect track record,
An expulsion from school or work, god if you'd only hid me better
I promise I can get you out of whatever you need to escape this. time.
Only I can't promise I'll get you where you're headed and if you
survive
See I'm not the heroine of your story, I might just be an echo
Of a star trying to burn her way home, through any means necessary
But unlike that star, that drug, that ghost, I care if I hurt those people around me and in that, around me, I'll always feel alone.

And I only ever wanted to be symbiotic,
To be loved and in love.
Trained myself to forgive every hang-up I thought someone
Could throw at me,
And guarded myself not knowing, my guards could be the end
Of some things beautiful.
And beyond the hurt, we're still here word-for-word
Don't you want me?
Don't you regard me?
Isn't that more than enough, more than enough and just,
Breathtaking?
I never thought of vows someone and I could make as truth,
But here you are.
With no need to seek or try, in fact sometimes in failing,
We just are.
Maybe four years isn't enough to know someone but
Regarding the fragility of life I-
Oh,
Just shut up and kiss me.

And oh, when I want to slip
To fall off the edge
I'm begging for a reason to collapse
The broken cannot fix the broken,
Doesn't mean that we don't try
Because while mine are dim and dying,
I still try to feed the light inside your eyes

And even when neither of us can stand,
Hand in hand we still lean in and rise
Until the day you can walk away from me
Will I be able to walk my own way, too,
Or will I fall without you?

The blind cannot lead the blind,
They say the world won't work that way
If I'm no better than a husk,
A mirror to bounce back your love,
Then shall I live within the water,
Which reflects the moon, which reflects the sun,

How long does this last
Is this as good as we'll ever have?
Because it's not sustainable
It feels too good to hope

You're welcome to prove me wrong..

Tonight I chose a path, followed to its end and it was
Closed off
Kept driving down the road, to find another way
Evening air burned sweet as incense over the green water,
Clear and cold snow run-off, up in the mountains
Where otters made their play
A hummingbird came to say hello, singing in my hair as I
Shook my head around to see it, retreating and returning
My car died, I just lay in the sand
Sticking my toes in
That river running down, if I could only bear it
I'd slip into its current, grow leathery fins,
Oh I'd never go back, but for the memory
Across the way, heavy with trees and a rock face
Scorched by fires of travelers passed by
There are antlers, elk and such, oft in the forest
Their hoofprints in the beach I walk
My toes trailing across the rocks, fingers trailing wind
A small stone, caught up from the water, gleaming emerald,
Pocketed
I wish you'd come dream here with me
For I fear it's all just a dream within my head