I want to be beautiful
I want to be bones, 90 pounds, blue
I want to be beautiful,
You'll tell me I'm beautiful when I'm dead, won't you?
Like when it was dawn, covered in fog,
Like when they cut you down, dressed you up, showed you off,
Like when they wrote you stories,
And you were beautiful,
And you were beautiful,
I wanted to be like you,
Tell me how to be just like you

I'm halfway between "**** you" and "**** me" and it keeps sliding.

Sitting at the park, pen in one hand, knife clenched in the other
When the sprinklers go by I can see the children on the swings,
Lost souls running on the playground
Some day soon I won't be able to shake off the delusions
It's not safe to be a practicing witch,
And no one should play with spirits.

all of these drugs in my system
all of these holes and blisters
you said that i was made of the sun -
but what do you know of light,
you creature of darkness?

Look, I get it, I was only ever just a nuisance,
I look like a drowned rat, I'm an alcoholic, you're free
I'm living in some stranger's spare bedroom,
And I'm trying to do justice to some guy's song
While my nerves are pulling me in a riptide while I'm singing
But teacher says that I did excellent, and that means everything
So I stay alive, and I **** the last vape off a faulty e-cigarette
And I close my blinds against some girl doing drugs in the soccer field
Because I'm sleeping in a suburb off LA where the lights never go off
Trying to forget trying to sleep on a couch while a friend's roommate
Was getting off, up in Hollywood
City of masks and scripts and chewed up misfits
Well I haven't blacked out drunk in who knows when, that's going for me
And when I met that guy again he told me to hang in there
Because we all know I'm a suicidal game of chicken
Or just a late night gas station casualty waiting to happen
Then somebody tells me they're happy I'm here,
And I don't live with them, and they don't know me,
And I'm pretty sure they don't want to be, involved,
But it makes me feel, maybe sticking around wouldn't be so bad after all.
After all, I can make the headlines one way or another,
....I'll figure out which way tomorrow.