You wake up my mind, make it clatter around with tinny bells that knock against my skull, igniting sparks. There's loud red and subdued white brights popping as my heart starts racing,
I can't just put my phone back down and walk away
And I'll step a little lighter and I'll smile a little brighter and I'll love a little more
Disgust tangy and savory at the back of my teeth, caught up between tongue and gums tangling over things I want to say
I put you from my mind, for a time, that lasted just about a month, a lonely little month drawn out into scraped knees and burned oil
Still, I am still while electricity races within, warming me to a steaming glow, fresh from the pools of acknowledgement
Your involvement, blending into my icy life, dying out
Searching for any sign you leave since you left, that you care,
But I don't know if I can stand the cold anymore.

control your **** impulses,
you heartless, condescending *****.

If she was his ocean
And he was her sky,
What happens past the horizon?
What happens
When the skies are stormy
And are unclear
Hidden away beyind
Bursts of thunder yells
And night time lightning?
What will the ocean do then?

"I'm just a call or text away," he says
I don't love him much, he's gentle
Unassuming, lackadaisical in our conversations
He'll reply when he wants, it's on my schedule
His presence on my phone won't consume me,
And I care, where he's going, what he studies, where he works
I know his favorite movies, I guess, his favorite parks, his number

I wish it could stay this way, always.
The part where you just meet somebody whose addition to your life though subtle, is duly noted.
You'll notice if they're not there for a week,
but you don't need constant reminders
Before they start wanting more, or replace you
Before I want more, or drift away
Before "I'm only a call or text away" becomes a relic of the past

And that's the tragedy,
Playing the might have beens,
Along with the what could be,
In my mind, all the fantasy,
Everything we might have said, that could'v'e happened in a script
I'll never write.
Were you right to end it all before I got my hands on the copy,
You were right to stop me.
Feverish and drunk, I get lost,
I know the words we might've said, all the lives we might have led,
And it kills me
It kills me up in my head, to replay them like an overture still in review
What am I now I've finally lost you, and admit it
I can't acquit it.
This must do.
All the things I cannot write have to do with you, inside my darker lusts the poetic throes of fantasy,
Are only fantasy,
Without a muse
There's nothing they can come to.

It's been three years hasn't it?
But it's been five years now,
My life seems to be caught up in the past, and frequent inconsistency,
Oh I saw you in your robe, clutching your cover on the creaking steps,
Sleepy eyed and asking me to come to bed
And how you chased me, at a dead run, when I fled
You were standing with your girlfriend there,
In the parking lot,
I recognized your car and plate number
I bet you thought I'd forgot
Now it's so clear that I've got to move on,
My heart is aching, racing, for another dance,
So change the **** song
It can't be You Could Be Happy, Torn, or Jennifer
I can't be the past, your thought, yours
The winds are changing, I've read the cards and runes
They say I've got to be moving on from old wounds
I've cut open, sewn and sutured, now do you understand?
I'm a free spirit, gyp and matured, and even though
For once I don't have a plan!
It's exhilarating, my poems reiterated
I'll become the ****** and the feminist you always hated
So watch me go! And long for me at every turn
You'll finally learn what I am and all that you've lost,
Ha, I'll see my regrets come to instant completion