When...
It first started.
I got to admit.
i was scared
I didnt know what i was doing.
In fact
I didnt know who i was
Who i belonged with.
I was lost
I continued to wander in self realization.
But you came.
I was already crushing ******* you.
I didnt know a thing about you
but
I liked your lips.
I liked your eyes
I liked your voice
I liked your hair
I liked the way you carried yourself.
I liked everything i saw about you.
And then
I found out
You
Liked me too.
*******-****.
****.
Now i was super scared.
Supernova inside my heart.
I didnt want to **** anything up.
But then
you asked me
And here we are.
Today
Tomorrow
forever
...
**who the **** says magic doesnt exist?!?!

I hate stupid questions

And stupid people

Stupid family members

Stupid housewife

*******

I have given you everything
All my time
My thoughts
My words
My heart
And you aren't even there
I'm ready to ******* shoot up
Some ****** tennis court
Not that I ever would
Godfuckingdammit
It is unacceptable for you to do this to me
Because despite what I've
Showcased in the past
I am far different than I once was
When you first met me
You have to understand
I will not be spending
Three ******* months chasing
Your cheating loser ***
Because as much as I have
And still do
Love you
I will not be that girl again
So darling,
It's time to ******* man up
Because you're really ******* me off

Shut the **** up
before i curb check your ***

Then

Death.

im not much of a poet,
but his eyes look like comets
rushing to fall onto me,
being engulfed by earth's pull

im not much of a poet,
but i swear his skin
feels like the first drop of water
on a hot summer shower

im not much of a poet,
but his smile spreads across
my skyline like sunshine
on an early morning jog

im not much of a poet,
and he's not much of my poetry.

Tight roping the catwalk of life's hopes and dreams

I  tiptoe through trying to avoid hurting myself upon

Jagged pieces of broken glass

Obstacles to my aims and desires

Atop the saffron walls of my blue sky thinking.

From here I could allow myself to fall into blackness

containing all possibilities

Or stay safe aloft and on high

Continuing to follow my narrow path

My feet tire of this peregrine journey

And yearn to search for colours new

To allow myself to pass through deepest black

Through to purest white

And enter the rainbow

Where in life's spectrum

All souls glow within its flow.

What will break my heart more
a sledge hammer
Or
*your words

Im waiting for damnation
Im waiting to be killed.
Im waiting to be rejected.
No matter how hard i try
im never enough
Why?
See you think you are a **** god
And i am like some slave to you.
You said things would get bettet
You said i could be happy
But youre the same still
No difference.
You lied...again
What the ****?

I don't know if you experienced abuse before in any form.
You are scared to the point of checking your phone because if you miss a message they will punish you with twenty more saying you should answer right away.
You’re afraid to eat because of something that they will say.
Your scared when you wake up and when your breathing.
You cry yourself to sleep.
When the abuser acts normal and loving you stay because you love them and their old self is showing.
You enjoy those moments where it seems peaceful because it helps you get through the bad parts of when the abuse happens.
If the abuser acts nice your scared because you want it to last so you don't say anything and they think your behavior is weird.
I feel so lost and dizzy, I don’t know what is true anymore.