Rain water overflowing
our garden bed, now
a bright green in the
fresh morning dew.

Picking up fresh herbs,
surrounding grass,
tiny lavender flowers
sprouting sporadically
in between coarse leafs,
our own starry night sky.

Dripping trees in bright
sun rays of first hours,
stretching far beyond roots,
colors previously dull
now beaming rainbows.

Bringing out twinkling
powder, light pollen
into nostrils, sneezes
from red noses, blushing
cheeks with moist heat of
the fresh rainy days of
a liberating summer.

The sore muscles of my back
Crack with pain as I hit the glass
I’m caught in a fight till the end of time
With no other than my own mind

Scalp burning with erratic perturbation-
Wisps of hair detached from pale flesh-
Shaking fingers gripping into carved moons on dented skin-
The drug is in the stream, causing perpetual commotion.

And it flutters, flying like a bird
around the space of my flimsy stomach,
then a ferocious lion, jumping and *******
with not shame whatsoever,
not paying attention to the simple fact that I
have been left in awe -an understatement for such epiphany-
by words written by a stranger, strangely intimate,
resonating firmly against my rib cage.

My heart in a hurry to reach its eventual demise,
but the lack of care evident, for your words have
spoken to me in such a distinctive way, that
I don’t need anything anymore to keep breathing, other than
the poet softly whispering words in my ear,
uncovering them, when they were previously stuffed
with relentless loathing, spitted venom from ignorants.

They showed me that it was not mine,
that it never belonged in my system.
They taught me how it feels
to love something again.
And for that, I’m forever grateful.

Can’t you see, dear,
that I have spun a
web of lies
in your name?
All of them,
stories of greatness,
stories of love,
carved from my
trembling hands,
dripping from
my mind,
all for you.
Yet, you don’t
even know I exist.

In the real world,
the detailed fantasy
I created has
no meaning,
no worth,
no power.
The realization
leaving me speechless,
a reality so tightly woven
with a thread of fiction.
It’s hard for me
to separate dreams
from harsh truth.
I experience
confusion,
emptiness.

In the months after your departure,
-heart wrenching for some, an exhale
of air after holding it in for too long
for me- I’ve been trying to crack you
open, like a mystery box, to discover the
unknown nature of your charms, compelling.

Were you appealing because you listened
to us? You listened to our low voices in a
society where we were belittled and silenced
into cooperation.
Coerced into leaving our sense of self behind
and following the norm, what is acceptable.
I saw right through you.

You planned this elaborate scheme and I
almost fell for it, I almost fell for your greedy
hands, promising approval, understanding,
a confidant like no other.
Making us think we were too mature for our age,
when we were just silly, innocent girls
craving recognition, just like any other,
wanting to be seen.

You fooled us into believing that you truly saw
us, but I noticed the way you looked at them,
They weren’t being seen in the way they
wanted to.
They were being looked at like just another
piece of meat.
You unclothed them with your filthy eyes.
Don’t you have any shame?

You even had the audacity to appear shocked,
even angry, when us, the ones that realized the wicked,
twisted game you were playing with them, gave you
the cold shoulder. We weren’t the stupid girls you
thought we were.

And all this time, I have blamed myself for not realizing
sooner, and when seeing what was really going on,
not speaking up.
And yes, I regret that, but I won’t give you the pleasure
of blaming anyone other than yourself,
of blaming myself.

After all, I wasn’t the one that looked and
touched them in inappropriate ways,
I wasn’t the one that whispered in their ears
drunk out of his mind,
And I wasn’t the one that earned their trust,
just to groom them.
In that story, I wasn’t the predator,
that titled belonged -and still does-
to you.

Always amazed in eerie incantation,
our love captured in time,
frozen on still image;
black and white, translucent,
I fill in for lacking colors.

Embracing on town boulevard,
birds fluttering on autumn sky
place where we met in afternoon-lit shops,
the old cafe were we danced
brimming with wanderlust souls.

Pretentious foliage with a warming hug,
dancing orange-blue flowers on cream dress,
dangling jewelry: rings, golden bracelets,
red lip imprint left on dreaming face,
intertwined lives, encompassing forever.

Our memories play like old movies,
your clean perfume, dropping rivulets,
past left behind, dirt on shadows,
anything I would do to go back
where gentle whispers summon smiles.

I’m back, a ghost town years later
from a love that never was,
desperately searching through places,
the ones we explored together,
I mutter your name to utter strangers-

Voice braking, quivering frown,
frustration, on descent,
a numbness with no light,
silence, for no one has seen you since,
this old photograph, the only witness left.

And my eyes were shining
Like a blazing summer day,
Chocolate, caramel swirl
Toasted coffee, brown,
From a settled gaze upon a girl
With her face pristine, pale,
Tinged salty cheeks ruby red,
Light dress flowing, shy frame
Around her, in swirl azure,
Attire matching waves
I was fond of, knew too well
Our windows collided, exploding colors
Her eyes watering grey sky,
Face burning, nervous smile;
Beauty never seen upon this land,
She reached out for me
And the clock stopped ticking,
I compared my hand to hers,
Calloused from my fishing ways,
And her dainty fingers, trailing arms,
“Pen and paper are my favorite ones”
For she was a poet, she told me once
And I just someone who traversed the sea,
She went on to write stories of me,
Tiny island, complicit to crime,
We bathed in sinned ocean water,
“By the sounding sea we live!” she chimed.

The ice crunched beneath our feet
As we trailed towards the sea,
Cold air infused with salty tales
Of fisherman that sank long before we.

The boat skipped fast blue waves,
Suddenly my head hit the floor,
I smelled blood, mine and fish alike,
Smiling into the great expanse of sky.

And I saw the wave, long before you did
But you held my hand, and I squeezed back,
For this was our place, in this tiny boat,
The water high above, splashed into lungs.

Even deep in ocean, and after the storm
Glued, even in the most tragic death,
The strongest ones couldn’t pry you off
As our grave was lowered into the earth.

Tropical weather brings along the rain,
Bathing burning skin, scorching sun,
And the tree out front has overgrown
Bright, tiny yellow flowers, sprinkled light.
They emerge, stars amongst the greenery
As we swim across the cooling sea,
Lemon flavor lingers in your mouth,
Sugary kisses, on humid nights.
And the tallest palms, they reach the skies,
Swaying gently, bending in the wind,
Month of June, I breeze, for all the whims,
And we keep each other, discovering.

The rolling grass tinges skin green,
Color that sets in your eyes,
And the dirt that came from heavy rain
Is the one that sets in mine.
The flowers bloom, touching hands,
Combining breaths, destined paths,
For the grass in soil, roots reach deep,
And soil keeps steady, approaching wind.

The heavens above have heard my pleas,
Countless times, name screamed from lips,
They rolled off poisoned tongue, to float,
The curse you planted on my heart, unknown,
I conjure fictitious lore to sell in your name,
Strange dreams on drunken sleep of you,
I thought once before, I don’t think no more,
***** echoes, sweet, enthralling fumes,
Tingling hands, never tire out from ink,
“No rest until all pages are filled with him”,
And the mother beams with the know it all,
Spell casted lightly from charmers tongue,
And my ears unsealed, I tied down my hands,
You resumed your singing, with a glinting eye.

The brightest eyes
of warming light,
cast their glow on my neck,
the place to rest
when your tired bones
scream out in pain.
When your song is low,
and the gleam is dull,
you can take a breath,
you can call me home.

“What about me?”
I asked.
My whisper echoed
Against the glass.
The reflection
Whispered back,
“Never enough”.

My calculated steps
Echo against marble floor,
Endless series of fours
A failing attempt to tame.

Burning in my eyes,
Shifting curtains,
Repeatedly,
The knot tightens.

Does it still exist?
The invisible line that supposedly ties us together,
Haven’t felt in what feels like ages.
A glimpse into our thread,
Showed it’s shadow,
Flickering slowly against the light,
Running out of energy,
It has been gradually loosening up,
Throughout the years
It hasn’t left,
Just yet.
And I know it’s because of me,
You stopped trying
The minute the belt left a mark on my skin

My body disintegrates
in front of my own eyes
And I slowly flow into the air.

I can see everything from up here,
from the bigger image
to the tiniest of details
The wind carries me through towns,
cities,
states,
countries,
parks and houses,
oceans and deserts,
through the lives of many.

I live vicariously through your life,
your problems are my problems,
your feelings my feelings.
You mold my shapeless existence
around yourself.  

I am the scary waves
fighting against each other,
I am the sun
that burns your skin,
I am the rain that soaks
through your clothes
and leaves you cold and lonely.
I am the sunset
that softly paints golden the afternoon,
the moon that shines where lovers meet,
the worn out,
brittle pages that fill your heart with joy
and make your mind wonder.
Im am everything that exists
and ever existed
and I am nothing at once.
I am an empty shell
Resting at the bottom
Of the lonely, dark ocean floor
I feel nothing,
I am no one.

Oh, what a shameful thing it is,
The way your blood rushes through my veins,
The purest essence of a coward,
Creates resentment amongst the depths.

Denial upon denial spit out,
Those ***** words reek your mouth,
It impossible for you to feel higher,
Proudness proudly on display.

I’m merely just a puppet,
A pawn upon your game,
You wear my teeth on necklace,
You curse my name in joy.

Doubled-faced monster,
Entitlement owns you,
Once a good man,
Drowned in your own fantasy,

The raged boiled over fire,
Completely burned my skin,
But I can’t help but love you,
Oh, what a shameful thing.

The burning of my back,
The moisture in my skin,
The grass between my fingers,
The prickling in my chin.

The sun lightens my eyes,
I kiss your crimson lips,
Heat rises to your cheeks,
Your smiling just for me.

The way
you swirl
against
the sky,
electric
fire in
your eyes,
your toes
dig into
the grass,
the flowers
bloom
against
your hands,
the magic
of your
dancing
feet,
the tears
running
down
your cheeks,
the golden
light against
your skin,
you smile
at me,
and I
fall in.

A wish is
nothing but
a lie.
An intake
of air.
Resist,
Keep it there.
Unwrap
Your own mind.
Let out
Your innermost
desires,
Into existence,
By a mere
Whisper.
The universe
Won’t go out of
Its way
To fulfill
The wanting
Of someone
That questions
Their own
mind.
An insignificant
Nobody.