Someone
Said,
No one
Baths in
The same
River twice,
Because
When you
Come back,
New water
Will be
Flowing,
But it’s
More
Complicated
Than that
When it
Comes to
Those you
Love,
People are more
Like the soil
Underneath,
That erodes
Over time,
With so much
Life to give,
And so
Much growth.

she doesn’t read my poetry anymore;

sent every script, faithfully, always honored & acknowledged with a pithy comment, then came the occasional emojis,  then too often silences, longer and longer, made me realize
it was an imposition, created excuses,
finally ceased sending…

so now there is no doubt,
my muse is
disused, and I feel,
forlornly bitter and
use-less lessened

look for excuses to provide her a dance,
no poem
too similar, overly familiar,
not reflective
of our true reality, still,7&

she doesn’t read my poetry anymore;*

cannot muster up the bitter mustard I feel,
and see the little, minor, signals all is not
perfect, select edit, make disappear, tiny
grimaces, misperceived caustics asides,
and the reality is such, that wince internally,
but the love poetry has been put aside…
and

I stand here wrapped in
the dark of morning
the firefly lights
Bounce color into my retina,
Twisting and turning
The dark shade
of green of the trees
Around me.

And, as the shadows
of morning lightens up,
Buildings color
my peripherals,
Success and failures
of other people
Stand high and low.

A jungle of Melodies,
That intertwine
with what I’m feeling,
Spider webs left
behind gloom over,
Empty, empty and Sad.

I can’t seem to get out,
Thoughts that follow
me everywhere I go
Are starting
to come out,
like cobwebs of
a spider who
lost his way
Vacant for the
next person to fill,
I run and I trip
And I get up
When I just
want to lay down.

I miss the moments
in my life
Where it felt
so obvious,
Like I’ve lived
this before,
So easy as if
it was pumping
Through my veins,
Just like walking,
Just like running,
Just like breathing.

I don’t know
what I want
In 5 years,
Or what I
Want for
Next year,
In 5 years I’ll
Be 29,
So close to 30
I don’t know if
I want to make it
To 30,
But if I do I just wish
For me to be happy.

Once again,
I dance alone
In those lost
Gardens you
And me used
To take care of,
Now it’s
Overgrown,
Hidden behind
A vine wall
That hides the
undisturbed
Beauty
and purity
And sweet
scents,
At night
the flowers
Light up,
the stars
Walk among
me to show
Me the way,
I’ve been
Walking
So long
Through  
Rose bushes,
The thorns have
Embedded
Themselves
Into my skin
Up to my hips,
I hope the
Day comes
They become
Roots, my arms
Branches of a
Shrub I won’t
Be able to name
Anymore,
While I wait
For rain,
For now I’ll
Just walk,
And walk
And walk
And walk,
While my blood
Feed the ones
That have lost
Their battle
Against time.

For as long as I can remember
I’ve been looking for love,

With a heart full of stitches
And duct tape to hold it together,

Trust me, I’ve been looking everywhere,
Above the ***** dishes and below

Undone laundry, behind the litter box,
And besides the stack of books

That keeps growing every first
Paycheck of the month

Since the second one falls
Victim to responsibilities,

I’ve tried the mirror, I trace
The moles around my face,

And ******* own mouth
As I fog the reflection

And think on who I was
Before time was time,

While I walk back to my bed,
And the pillows that already

Need changing, I lay, like
I’ve laid before and prepare

To go to sleep below the sky
And above the ground.

We got
Sunflowers at
Work today,
This is
The first
I've seen
Them on
Those brown
Metal grated
Tables, they
Reminded me
Of my mom,
They used
To be her
Favorite flower,
Every time
I call she
Sounds
Okay'ish,
She hasn't
Been on

Her medication
For years now,
It's hard to
Pin point
Her exact
Location,
I've been
Thinking
I need
Medication
Too, and
If they
Were to
Ask her
To place me
On a map,
Would she
Be able to,

Or anyone
For that
Matter,
I could
Be painting
Elk on
The walls
Of a cave ,
Or dipping
My feet
In the
Vastness
Of my
Soul,
I could
Be falling
In love
Again,
All I know
Is that
I need
To find
Myself
Soon.