I’ve gone through many battles
but never one as exquisitely painful
as the one my body has raged against itself

It’s just dirt
It’s not a garden at all
what is a garden without flowers?
sterile
barren
all I wanted in this life
was to give life

When you arrived you quickly bloomed
But just as quickly
I lost you
now there’s a wilted garden inside me
still, it serves as a reminder
of our time together
and the fact that
I’ll always love you

You said
in another time
or place
or life
we would be together
but in this time
in this place
in this life
you met her

It’s just dirt
It’s not a garden at all
what is a garden without flowers?
sterile
barren
all i want in this life
is to give life
but some land does not sprout flowers

My notebooks are filled with all the drafts of the poems i’ve never completed because our love is indescribable like only the language of love can be.

Like a secret only we understand.

through the darkest nights
when I feel like the world is going to collapse in on me
you make my heart bloom
you make our house a home
placing love in every room
- husband

Cupid
cherub of love
you pierced me with your arrow
but instead of hitting my heart
you stabbed my vein
and I was gone

I was not struck with patient love
or kind love
or splendid love
but a love sickness that became a vice
in the shape of him

so today, dear Cupid
retract your arrow from inside me
set me free
let this be my rock bottom
of this, I plea

when i hear your name I flinch
I can feel the door slam
and as I looked out the window
you didn’t look back
that was the last time I saw you
- Dad

my desire for you is like a dead language
it aches that you can't understand it
and I can't speak it.

- A Secret

You taste like the sun on a cool morning, warm and divine
but we know we can’t cross that line
because you’re not mine
sweet, madeline

Why is it called a “good bye” anyway?
There’s nothing good about it.
      - I miss you

I want so badly, for you to chase me down this rabbit hole
don’t you like adventure?
I know, together, we’re as mad as the hatter
in this upside down world we’d be
simply, delicious and whimsical chaos
but, unfortunately, you’re not Alice
and you’re not taking what I have to offer

I wouldn’t call it ****** frustration
I’d call it intimacy frustration
I just want to
sit in comfortable silence with you
read a book together
gently touch lips for just a second
or hold your hand
I want to write a poem together
and discuss philosophy all night
I want to devour your thoughts
and return the favor by sharing mine
those late night conversations
that’s what I want
but can’t have

The garden is sprawling
inch by inch
inked on my ribs
the outline precise
the fauna exquisite
the snake slithering down the length of my body
beautiful pain behind the cut of the needle
punishment
pleasure
relief
and release
the leaves are my original sin
the flowers drip blood
I’m alive  
forbidden fruit, nourishing my soul

We used to be rock and roll
and spectacular
full of spark
and light
raising simple kisses to works of art
dancing all night

I don’t know if infidelity is of the heart
or of the flesh
After
we became the mundane
the ordinary
the masses
dullness
We lost the extraordinary  
we lost us

Let's stand together in the dark
and let me drink in your moonshine

Clutch me with your heart wide open
my kiss tastes better than red wine
kiss me while your heart's still broken
i'll help mend it with time

I don't have to come in first for you to love me
if i finish will you let me stay
i know i'll probably never be your one and only
but it may be true in time anyway

- Stay

You’re like a wave
you crash into me
but then pull away
over and over again
you leave your mark

let me at least taste the salt of your skin
and gently dip into you
before you drown me again
with your Siren call

Falling in love with a poet  
is wanting to consume their words as sustenance
it’s wanting to swallow each letter for nourishment
it’s seeing yourself reflected in their stanzas
and making love to an iambic tempo
It’s falling in love with words

I want to devour you
like Saturday morning cartoons
and a bowl of coco puffs

dust
but in this case
it's not magical
like the times we used to spend together
or that of a pixie
it's just a sign of your absence
coating the things you left behind
-- Dad

Of pain, but also survival
It will serve as a reminder
Like a battle scar
The wound you inflicted
It will heal
-- a broken heart

she was lovely chaos
worth every test
but don't cross her
she'll split your bruised heart in two
and eat the mess

strike her down with your words
it still gives her a hit of you
that little bit of taste
makes her crazy enough for both of you  

she swallows that familiar pill
to numb the pain
when she walks in
everyone knows her name
she smiles and abandons all hope
no one knows what's down below inside her hurt
When your foolish curiosity has been settled
You'll have let her slip through your fingers
She'll doze off to sleep forever
forever and ever

I love to hug grenades
it's a simple self destructive trait
I bring them in and hold them gently
My own intimate art
when you get too close
You'll feel them explode
I warn you now
It's only meant to wound me

you're the love poem I write
to break my own heart
the pain I feel is precise
like a haiku
the love you took was splendid
like a sonnet

you're the song I sing
to get over you
the lyrics rhyme
without reason
I grasp on to each note
my pitch strong
as I hold on

my desire for you is like a dead language
it aches that you can't understand it
and I can't speak it.

- A Secret