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Christopher Oct 7
It's hard to believe or see the things the things I see.
Even though I'm no different
Feels like I'm living on a sheet.

I don't see things moving at the pace they should.
I'm frozen in this one simple frame and it's a bullet going through my brain.

If I try my best to zoom out I can see the things that have and can happened.
Almost as a third eye
Seeing this time line
Crammed
All in to one piece of paper.
I don't ******* know
Christopher May 27
Where did I go?
Path ()
Why did I follow?
Regard ()
So why bother?
Care ()
It didn't matter as I followed my heart.
Lost without a thought.

Conned,
By my mind,
Thinking I was fine,
Following what I thought was right,
Right?

Hope ()
I ran
Mind ()
I have become the  past
It just felt great to think () when I was ****** into a great time.
Friends of mine,
Take me high,
High as I never did.
So now,
Brain () I feel,
So chained again not just by a king.
But the deceased.
Because of me,
And my decisions,
I feel

() and ()
Months and months...still I'm haunted and search for peace.
Christopher Mar 2
My pockets are full and anyone could tell.
Thank god they don't point it out,
Otherwise I'd feel like a clown.

Put it here,
Move it there,
Try my coat pockets instead.

My Pockets are full,
now you can see.
But still,
It's best you do not approach me.

For you see,
I would rather ignore it and take it on my own,
rather than someone pricking their hand on my broken pencil.

I know it's not right,
But it's my life.
It's hard enough when you have the need to have all these things in a space,
unneeded,
but believed to be needed because I don't need to believe that not everything is needed...

Including me...

My pockets are full,
It's more than I can handle.
So please step aside,
Because to you I don't matter
The need to feel wanted is strong.
Might as well just whine about it in a site no one knows what's going on in my head at night. All but you. Thank you.
Christopher Feb 27
Again and again,
I'm stuck facing this brick wall in shame.
Me.
You.
My love.
My child.
I feel as if I've brough shame to all these names.
But then again,
Your knives arent exactly clean of blood.

So many times I stay awake thinking of the dreams and things I and we could've had.
****...
Unnecessary.
But, so was what we had.

I can't look back,
I can't fix what's broken
And I can't keep hooking on to things that I feel can't hooking a chemical that makes these me irresponsible.

So what do I do?
The future is haunted by the past and the past haunts my future. I miss trusting what I thought was love, family, and hope.
Christopher Feb 12
Create and destroy.
My heart.
My mind.
My soul.
               Yet you couldn't see my scars
I cut my lip,
I held my hands.
Yet you couldnt see the blood pouring out of my vains.

No one cared.
No one's there.
I'm too ******* scared.






And I'm afraid to die.
My morphine is way over.
Dopamine.
More and more.  

Couldn't look up,
Even when he tried to step up.
Enough us enough.

Wrists have been saved
But my hands are damaged.
Lip overflowing with blood,
Ive tried to manage.

Remember these passages...


_ _ _ _
Nothing more to give...
Christopher Feb 10
All nasty and full of gunk.
I fogot my toothbrush at the complex.
One week I've waited and it's still in the same place.
Feels like I was here yesterday.
But I know it's gonna feel like forever leaving.
Thank god I can try to keep clean with my essential back in my hand.
But I still can't help the feeling...

I'm going to loose my toothbrush again.
Still feels the Same.
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