You left…
I exhaled for the first time

I found a new love today.
I refused to think of you yesterday.

              Dearly beloved, can you guess who my love is?
                                           can you guess who touches my body?
                                           can you guess who taps into my soul?

I found a new love today........ Me.
           And most definitely
I refuse to think of you tomorrow.

I have cried,
The tears of a thousand widows
Stripped my soul bare
Sold some organs
Rearranged some bones
But still.....
You went to heaven without me

Can I be vulnerable now?
                            Can I be scared now?
                                    Can I exhale now?
                                           Can I cry now?
                                                   Can I sleep now?

        Can I just stop being strong now?

Fresh rain wrapped in the smell of sunshine
Tingled down their spine
Lost tingling their lips
Armed with the tears of a thousand windows
Their lips wept

For

Birthdays never celebrated
Holidays never seen
Pictures never to be taken
Tantrums never thrown
Into faces they’ll never kiss

Her tongue wept
For the ****
she’d never receive

Crevices she’d
never taste

Her stomach protested
For the smell
of butterflies

Her brain lamented
For the knowledge
she possessed

Her arms yearned
For the woman
she’d never hold

Her knees screamed
For the carpet
it'll never greet

Brought
    Flowers
         Home
......................................
             Locks
                  Were
                      Changed

Sunken Ship
                                             Thoughts
      Chills                                                                            Water
                                                                    Adrift
Stomp life into me                                                                                                   Grey Skies
                    
                                                                     Alone

Cutting my organs and rearranging my bones
Discarding of the skin like ***** band aide
Watering insecurities and dipping in my pink
Fitting me in the solace of your neck
But never in your arms
Drowning in your touch
Etching into my memory the bitter sweetness of this
One sided love
Craving your torture and remedy in one.....

Brought
    Flowers
         Home
......................................
             Locks
                  Were
                      Changed

Depression, the one we all see on a daily basis                                
the demon we all claim to possess                                                    
but do you get the sleepless nights?                                                  
the desire to sleep and never wake up?
the loss of energy to blow a kiss?
do you ever hold the pills and watch hope slip away?
John did.
inch by inch
limb by limb
then with each breathe his demon tore him apart
drink John drink!
there's  no better tomorrow, are the words that slither into his mind
armed with with the shield of determination
anger for her head piece
and love as the ultimate weapon his beloved charged in
Here lays John the defeated
the tears of a hundred men cried
along with the stench of his demise.