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Control me
I’m sick of playing man

Get close to me
I like it

Let me feel weak
Make me feel weak

I lock myself in society
Act my part, it disgusts me.
Make me soft
So lock me in chastity
Release and degrade me.

Withering away
I seek reality. I want to find me and,
Enjoy myself. So **** me.

I want to be weak with someone who will support me.

Emotionally.

I want to care with someone.
I want to care for someone.

I’m so confused.

The longer the better,

Please hold me...
Get beneath your peers
Crawl while in tears.
Drown inundated by consequential shame. Cause you’re the only one to blame.
Your avarice for ****** release isn’t natural.
You’ve conditioned yourself to be this abysmal.
Let your cries resonate, impregnate, and eradicate within you. A morning sickness derived from truth you will succumb to. While this truth grows and evolves within you, it will evacuate your lies behind your truth.

Sullen loneliness withers you, it’s created a monster.
One that pines for intimacy without foster.
Through this eagerness, a dull misunderstanding festers.
One where intimacy is strictly ******.
And it’s enjoyed alone on a phone, ha. How intellectual!
But the primordial need, sets you in greed.
Clear thinking leaves you, and desire is left only true.

However this brief inhuman act of disgusting ****, leaves you in a tut.
With rational thinking back after release. You’re trapped without peace.
Loneliness floods back, and on the attack, charges self reflection, without affection.
You don’t deserve affection. Just affliction.
So you grow ill from your actions.
Don’t stop this introspection. Self disgust is appropriate. So don’t take an ******.

Tenacious pithy feelings will raise your ceilings.
Embrace this self loathing. The shame will strip you of clothing. Now true to yourself and the world, unpolished and furled.
You can act on embellishments, and ignore wants and irrelevance.
Listen closer
To the sound of my closure.
It’s hardly noticeable,
But then again,
I’ve always been invisible to you all.
It’s trivial;
Not knowing where you’re headed,
But still seeing the seven layers of hell
You walked out of alive.
I have third degree burns
Soiling my memories-
I spent all of my time
Spoiling the enemies,
And now,
My time runs thin and frail.
My creativity has gone stale.
I’m sick,
I’m pale,
And yet my silence keeps me
Golden.
Lately, been on an ego trip
just trying not to flip my ****
or put my fists wherever they'll fit,
meet your skin and feel it rip
Been on a lifelong ego trip
telling myself just to go with it,
feeling lost and trying to sift
through all the *******, leaving matches lit
wherever I go, take a sip but swallow slow
feeling like I'm about to blow,
about to go off & I don't even know
how to make reparations
with all these half-strained relations,
half-numb sensations
eating away at my patience;
hit the ground running; touchdown on pavement
& you can ask me how my day went,
maybe you really do care
about global warming and solar flares,
but it's been rough even trying to comb my hair
hit me up like you've been there
or follow up with one of your blank stares,
but I'm good on that, I think I've had my share
trying not to go off in parking lots and coining insults on-the-spot
one-liner comebacks on-the-dot;

Been on a trip with my ego
just following wherever she goes
but she can take me down some dark roads,
I guess that's why I go with the flow
so much but I'm tryna break out of that
like trying not to swing when you're up to bat,
swimming in **** like a sewage rat,
Been riding my ego cause it gets me high
head in the gutter, middle fingers to the sky
leave my conscience on standby,
shooting shots like a drive-by,
ground zero and time to let these bullets fly
just another petty cry
for something we never knew was a lie
turns out we've been milking our will to live dry;
I think it's time to put our egos aside,
I think I wanna get off this ride.
Numb, dead skin
Dumb, head in

Isolation withers you
Insecurity is idiotic

Find, yourself
Hiding, from health

Social interaction
Will give you traction

Swim, into
Dig, you fool

The undertow drowns you
Reincarnation awaits you

Lose, your shell
Binding, you in hell

Venture out of vacuum
And without presume

Shyness is repulsive

Enlightenment, awaits you
Selfless, and too true

Adhere, to the collective
Powerful, and perspective

Connect with others
Help without stutters

Samsara, is a chance
Not, a trance

So help each other
Venerate and gather

Moon, sits waiting
Her, confidant scintillating

She’ll tell her secrets
Without regrets

Only, if we conquer the three poisons
Tonic, clean, and pleasant, like soissons
Get up
And **** me

Punishment for wasting

Punishment for dulness

Correction
Useless

I’m blinded by desire

Blinded by lust

Dopamine
Is my Dream

The only way I’ll take it

Is now and neat

Waiting
Is repulsive

It makes me shake and gag

Wasting time
Relieves me

Oh **** I got a head rush

Falling from the hit

I feel a sense of dread

Reward
Void of struggle

Leads to emptiness

And muddle

I fail to employ this knowledge

And smolder in video games

In YouTube

And *******

Do everyone a favor

I’m insipid and useless

Make it slow and forever

Painful and selfless

******* **** me

I’ve neglected the preciousness of time
Seek so intently
Fight it so invently

It lies to everyone
It lies in everyone

Seek so intently
Fight it so gently

Ego is resentful
Ego is repugnant

Seek so intently
Criticize pithily

Venerate
Open mindedness

Seek so intently
Explore curiously

Or pine for meaning
In you’re prison cell

stay so fetal
You’ll stay so fertile

Until you venture
Past your hurdle
With a great hurtle
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