Use your
voice
to make a
better
life

You still live in
the silence between
my thoughts

The air feels cold again
Like it did when we walked across the curved crossroad leaving winding footprints buried in the snow

When the earth seemed to be peeling off her color folding the summer back into her suitcase

It's as if you are on fire from
Within
Yet still the moon lives
In the
Lining of your skin

God left a long time ago and took the
tenderness
      with
them

I could hear the sea in the middle of a forest, feel the sun in the middle of the night, hear birds under water as I felt shadows creeping into my mind at last everything was so blurry I didn't feel the wind as I fell from the cliff, I didn't hear the snap of my neck breaking and I didn't feel the moment my soul left my body. Finally I was completely numb

Now that
                  I
                     Know
                                You
Exist
How
Do
I not
         Love
                    You

the kind of love you want to go on forever
the kind when you're three drinks deep into a bar on Sunday night
where you stay up long enough to meet the sun and turn into its fire
that kind of love
let me know when it comes
let me honor it when it is here
and let me let go
when it's time

A swiss army knife in an unwelcoming God toolbox is how I would describe myself
Versatile but cheap.
Not profound at anyone thing.
Illusionism of quantity that is mistaken for quality
Many books started but never finished
A vast resume both musical and medical
Many half played sheet music
Many diplomas full of emptiness
If started but never finished adventures could be considered hoarding I would be the sickest on earth.
The addiction of rebirth, restarting, and creation swallow me whole
Me the addict of wanting to live many lifetimes
I am the backspace bar of life
The blank sheet of paper on an empty desk resting beside a newly sharpened pencil
This, the description of the feeling I so desperately crave- absolutism

My shakey addict hands hunger for words like; blank, clean, fresh

These fuel my unhealthy obsession for second chances

I told you I'd wait a thousand lifetimes for you

But little do you know the lifetimes I already lived before you.

Searching for an answer
This disease spreads like cancer
How can I breath when my heads 6 feet under water
Too late now every thing is changing
So forget this life(when you live like this)

I think in numbers and breathe the silence.
But all I ever constructed was violence
And beneath these words you'll find I'm a coward 
Watch as I'm slowly devoured
My life passes before my very eyes
With God as my only Ally
And come to my surprise I was baptized in this disguise
Searching to find a hope
someone with the antidote

My life has no meaning
conveying my thoughts on this blank cardboard
I am an architect  no matter  what they think
and I will change the world
But at what cost?

I've been chasing freedom
   like I'm running out of youth
Asking myself what makes me happy?
    I can't seem to find the truth
Is it crazy to put faith in make believe?
  I just want to drive far far away from
                   these places

I have not experienced a natural disaster but I've held one within me

The inside of my head feels like TV static on full volume.

Loud and uneasy.

Two is a number
Until you meet someone then
It's your destiny

I think my attachment style all began when my mother ran away from home that one time.

Or maybe it was coming home from Christmas to find her drowning in codeine

I've never been the same since.